My Cleaning Tricks

So In order to still do the general housework I have made some changes and little tricks that help me. Now I know some might sound stupid and might not work for others but they do make having chronic health & OCD a lot better to deal with ... 

Hoover - I have three hoovers which are kept in different places which make it easier than having to carry one up and down the stairs. So I have one upstairs, one downstairs and one just for the kitchen. I keep them near the plug socket so easier to turn on and use whenever I can. 

Cleaning Items - I have a cleaning caddy in the bathroom for all the products I use upstairs and then I have products in kitchen under sink for all the products to use downstairs. I have a cupboard in the hallway which has back ups of products making sure I never run out which I get my Stepdad to reach and take out when I need to. I also have some products in my bedroom for easy access. Ideally I hate products on show but sometimes I have to think practical. 

Long Handled Dustpan/Brush - I have one in my bedroom as I have wood floor and one downstairs for the kitchen, utility and downstairs toilet. Long handled makes it easier to use few times a day without bending down or picking rubbish up ect. I have 3 dogs which mean dogs hairs and wood floor so having the dustpan and brush in reach means I can use it every time I’m in/out of the rooms.

Using Time Effectually - this might sound stupid haha so what I mean is that when I have a flare up with my bowel disease I will also clean the bathroom. It makes sense to do it as I’m stuck in the bathroom anyways. I will fold up washing while sitting on sofa, I will prepare dinner while sitting down and I will even sit on the floor to clean floors/polish, clean the bath/shower while I’m in there ect. It helps a lot to be honest as I find I get more done that way. If I had to wait to not be in pain to do these things then they would never get done. 

Ikea Bags - Totally Random but the blue Ikea bag are literally a lifesaver because of its long Handles and it’s a big bag. I use this to carry dirty washing downstairs and I will also fold up the clean washing put in the bag to carry upstairs. It makes it so much easier. 

Micro Fibre Cloths - I always keep one in reach so that if I’m walking downstairs or round the house I can easily grab it and polish ect. 

Clean At The Right Time - what I mean by this is I try to stick to the same time cleaning which is about 10 mins after I’ve taken my painkillers. I find if I wait anymore then the side effects have kicked in too far. 

Deep Freeze/Deep Heat Is My BFF - I have the roll on ones that literally are so easy to apply and I have one of each downstairs and upstairs which I put on as I’m about to clean. Okay it doesn’t get rid of the pain but it makes cleaning more bearable. 

Late Night No Sleep = Clean - I have nights where I don’t sleep til late because of pain so I use this time to sort my wardrobe out, sort storage out and do little bits in my room. 

I’m pretty sure there’s more than I do without realising but these are the main ones. To someone who isn’t ill I totally understand how stupid it might sound haha!! But you got to do what you got to do. Without doing any of these tricks I simply don’t get anything done. I have 3 dogs so I have to hoover lots and ideally I’d like hoover few times a day but I aim to hoover at least once a day which I find it easier to keep up with housework if I do it for like 20 mins a day rather than spending hours few times a week. Luckily I have a dishwasher but I wash up the dogs Bowls soon as they finished their dinner and I find doing it ASAP means it’s all done and dusted. Now I don’t really like antibacterial wipes well I do but I find it much easier to use a micro fibre cloth and antibacterial spray which probably doesn’t make sense and I’m sure wipes are more easier but my hands are quite sensitive and I was finding wipes irritate them more plus I seem to go through so much wipes so I prefer to use a few cloths instead. I don’t fill my cleaning cupboard up under the sink purely because it’s much easier to only have the products I currently using so I can just grab them easily. 

Obviously with me living at home with my mother means there are some things I’d love to do differently or change. I try much as possible to make the plan more organise, clean and tidy but it’s not as easy when people I live with are not like me lol!! Il spend ages cleaning and then I look and someone’s make it messy.. it’s rather frustrating because obviously I’ve made myself in pain in order to clean properly so it’s bloody annoying. I know if I lived alone I’d have things my way which would make things slightly easier for my health but for now with the small changes/tricks I use are working and helping. I truly believe that a “Tidy House Tidy Mind” and I feel so much better mentally when I’m doing cleaning even if my body is in agony.  My next post will be about what products I use. I tend to stick with the same products that I know work as I haven’t got time to be using rubbish products. So make sure you pop back soon to find out my top products. 

Love Katie xx 

Chronic Health & OCD

So I’ve been wanting to do a blog series for ages now about cleaning while having chronic health. I also have OCD which had way before becoming ill so it was a huge shock for me when I started to notice how certain housework/chores became rather difficult and sometimes impossible. 

I love cleaning. I always have and to be I use it as my therapy. Some people go retail therapy or cooking or exercise but for me it’s always been cleaning,tidying, clearing and being organised. I love seeing the before and after of how simply changes can make a massive difference. And storage!!! Storage is my best friend andI HATE having items in my draws without being in some sort of box or draw divider. Every month I always sort through each of my chest of draws, clean them and make sure to either chuck or Charity shop stuff I no longer have use for.

Safe to say I love clearing, cleaning and organisation but it’s rather hard when you have a disability. I’m lucky that I’m still able to do most housework and I have ways of making sure I can still manage them but having OCD thrown in the mix makes things so frustrating. My mind is telling me I have to clean or do something but my body is refusing and physically can’t. My illnesses has already taken so much away from me and has dramatically changed my life but I will not let it stop me from doing the normal day to day chores. I’ve made some changes and adapted which I think I have the right balance at the moment in order for me to be in less pain as possible while continuing to do the general housework. Obviously even with the changes I’ve made I still have days where the pain is too bad to do anything.  I thought I’d share some simple changes and tricks/tips on how I still do the normal chores with a disability. And how I try and control my OCD while having a bad pain day. I now do things differently which to some people might sound stupid but in order to still keep on top of the house I don’t care if I look or sound stupid. Not only is cleaning obviously good and I 100% go by the saying “ tiny house tiny mind” but I use it as a distraction and almost as a escape from the agonising pain I’m in 24/7. 

My next blog post shall be the simple changes I’ve made and the silly ways on how I still manage to cook/clean/tidy and organise with chronic health. I write all my blogpost via my phone as I don’t have my laptop as I hardly used it so if the layout, pictures or words are not up to scratch then I do apologise. I’m going to try and do at least one blogpost per week which I think is doable otherwise if I give myself a few a week I know it’s not possible. I do miss blogging and I think it must be at least two years since myself or Beth blogged properly but so much has happened to us both since we last blogged so our posts might be slightly different. I just thought I’d do a quick post to explain on why there will be regular posts coming soon and what they’re about ect. 

Next blog post shall be in a few days :) 

( I have about 10 posts half written that because of brain fog never get finished) haha..  I have been using the blog Instagram since last September now & do regular posts and I’m slightly addicted to doing daily stories haha.. so please do follow us on Instagram on “Essextowindsor”

Love Katie xx 

Feeling alone By Katie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeling alone

 

 

At the weekend my health messed up a family fun day Saturday which made me rather sad and couldn't help but feel alone! 

When you have chronic illness you feel so alone. When I say alone I mean because I have no one in my family that suffers with a chronic illness similar to mine so it's genuinely hard to talk out loud about my health as they do not understand. Alone because most family birthdays meals I cannot attend because I'm either in a bad flare or can't eat anything on the menu so I'm left at home alone and I end up feeling so isolated. The one thing that really upsets me about missing family occasions is when I get certain family members saying that I'm choosing to not go out and that I don't want to socialise which couldn't be further from the truth. Of course I want to go out, attend all family meals or events and socialise but I've realised that you HAVE to put yourself and your health first. I've spent many times sitting in a restaurant putting on a totally different mask and acting fine when in reality I'm sitting there with stomach cramps, my joints are in crippling pain and my eyes are wanting to close from severe fatigue. The smile I put on in those situations is totally fake. How can I smile when I'm in so much pain. Sometimes putting on an mask and a fake smile doesn't  work in my favour! Unfortunately It makes some of my family members think that I am absolutely fine and that I am lying about being ill. It leaves me thinking what is the lesser of two evils? Grinning and bearing the family meal in crippling pain or putting myself first and not going and facing the criticism of some not so understanding family members.

 

The weekend just gone, I planned to go to Battersea Old Windsor Fun day on the Saturday with Beth, my nieces and my brother, we planned this ages ago and we was all looking forward to it. The evening before I got ready to have an early night then all of a sudden my colitis really flared up big time to the point where I was on the toilet from 10pm until 7.40am so I was incredibly exhausted from just running back and forward to the bathroom. At 8am I thought lets get an hours sleep so I can have some energy for the day out but soon as I closed my eyes, my bowel had other ideas meaning I had no other choice than to cancel the plans and stay in bed instead. I was so exhausted and the toilet trips continued till Saturday evening and I was home alone so I felt even worse and more alone. 

Luckily I have my three dogs who drive me mental but they follow me to the toilet, cuddle me on the sofa, always by my side in bed and make me laugh. I am so glad that I live with my Mother, something I thought at 24 years old that I wouldn't say but honestly I couldn't be without her. 

I really hope that my health starts to improve as I hate missing out on all these family events, I will be sure to keep you all update on my health and my story.

until next time

Katie x

Where We Have Been

So we haven't been blogging a lot over the past few months which we have valid reasons for but hopefully soon we should at least have one post up per week.

Ava & Bella loving their new home :)

Where we have been?
Me (Katie) well my illnesses haven't been too good lately to the point where I haven't opened up my laptop in ages. My Colitis flare up has no sign of settling down and I am still waiting for an appointment with the Gastro ward. The fatigue is getting the better of me. My painkillers dose has been upped which obviously comes with more side effects so I am like a zombie pretty much most of the day.

Bethany .. welll things have finally gone to plan for her and my Brother and they now are living in Berkshire so we live in the same county finally and their place is about 20 minutes away. It all happened so fast that they had just under two weeks to buy everything for the flat and pack everything up. So on the 19th October Beth, my Brother and most of both of our families all came together to help move in. For the past year they have had bad luck when it comes to finding a place to rent so it was all hush hush when they got the go ahead to move as they didn't want to temp fate.

So things have been abit manic lately and this weekend will be even more manic as on Saturday Beth and Tom are having a little housewarming party/get together, Sunday myself, Beth, Tommy and the girls are off to Harry potter Tour and then on Monday it is Bethany's 22nd Birthday and as Tommy will be working, I am staying the night before so I can spend the day with her and go for lunch and obviously a Costa. Once this weekend is over then I will hopefully well I WILL be seeing Beth least once a week and hopefully most weekends. I shall take my laptop over to hers and as she lives next to Costa we shall be having a blogging costa date most weeks haha.

I have energy for the first time today and I guess the medication and coffee is to thank for that. So I am going to try and write a few posts so I can put them up next week :) Hope you are all well :)

Love Katie xx  

Katie's Health Update #9

So my last health update was only a few a weeks ago here but since then I have a few things to update you all on.

COLITIS
Yesterday I had an appointment at the hospital for a check up and instead of the appointment being under the Gastroenterology clinic, it was under the general surgery clinic which I didn't understand why to be honest and nor did the Doctor. Luckily the doctor I saw is someone I have been under for nearly 3 years now so she knew my history and what was going on. She looked at my report from my last colonoscopy and explained where my Colitis is and told me a lot more than I ever have been told. I explained to her how I don't think Asacol are doing much for me anymore and my flare up is so unbearable at the moment. She wrote me out a prescription for Steroids (not sure what they called) and has put me under the Gastroenterology department and for them to see me urgent/in few weeks time. I took my Mother with me and I am glad to be honest as it is always different from a doctor explaining my condition rather than me. So although my flare up is bad at the moment, my fatigue is horrible, still loosing weight and eyes are being affected but I felt like finally the hospital are doing something about it. 

ARTHRITIS
My Gabapentin medication have been upped to 300mg and the side effects from the 200mg was affecting me a lot so now it is higher the side effects are worse. The side effects are worth it to be honest as the medication itself does help with my back pain. I get  days where my back is in bits and then days where it is manageable with painkillers but never a day where I am not in pain. Over the past few weeks the pain has been going back of bum, legs and near my hips which happens every now and then. When the weather gets cold my Arthritis plays up a lot so although I love the cold weather, I am not looking forward to it.
  
ANXIETY/DEPRESSION/PANIC ATTACKS
My depression hasn't been good to be honest, I've had more down days than up days this month. My GP has upped my Sertraline to 200mg and have referred me to an Psychiatrist. My GP explained that because he has upped my dose of Antidepressants and I haven't heard back from Therapy than he feels that me being seen by an Psychiatrist will be more helpful than waiting for an Therapist appointment. I told him how the more pain I get with both of my illnesses that the more depressed I feel and as I can't control any of my illnesses/they wont get cured that I feel like I need to learn how to control my depression ASAP. As for my Anxiety that is always there in the back on my mind in some way or another. Whether if I am not in an anxious place, I will always feel on edge. I wrote a post HERE about fear and Guilt of an Chronic Illness and in this post I explained what fear I have lately and part of that is feeling anxious. As for my Panic Attacks, I haven't really been in any panicky environment to make me panic lately. I went to Essex at the beginning of August and obviously I've mentioned how I used to have a fear of trains ect and that is where my panic attacks started but I have gotten over the fear but I still do panic as I think it would be totally impossible of me to stop panicking while I am on the tube/train. My Brother picked me up on the way there and on the way back I got the tube and train back and luckily the tube was there quick and so was the train so I didn't have any time to panic.

OTHER
I wrote a post HERE about my Eye dramas over the past few weeks so read that if you want to know what happened. I am still on eye drops and to be honest the eye pain has gone but both of my eyes are still so red. The eye Doctor did explain how he was worried as people with Colitis/Ankylosing Spondylitis do get bad eyes so he did say he was going to send me to an specialist so I guess I shall have to wait for that appointment letter to come through. That's pretty much it for my health this month and I have no more appointments left for this month. In September I have Dietician which is to do with my Colitis as I am struggling with what to eat lately and then I have my Monthly GP app middle of the month.

I shall keep you all posted on how I get on with the Steroids for my Colitis which I haven't got yet as the chemist had to order them in. Also touch wood my eyes start to get better.

Love Katie xx  

Katie's Health Update #7

I didn't realize my last health update post was in March!! OPPS. I did write some health update HERE in May in a life lately post but I haven't really gone into detail about everything health wise.

image from pinterest 

COLITIS
I haven't really got any updates on my Colitis as I am still waiting on having another appointment with my specialist. I'm on Asacol 400mg twice a day which have been working but in the past two months I have been having flare ups more often than I was before. My symptoms of this is abdominal pain, blood loss when passing stools and loss of appetite. I feel sort of stuck as in March I was diagnosed put on medication and that is it, I am still waiting for a follow up to get more answers. 

AS/ARTHRITIS
It's been over a year since I was diagnosed with Ankylosin Spondylitis which I wrote about HERE and to be honest I have literally only just been able to learnt to cope with it. My symptoms are back pain, stiffness, joint pain with most recent being my right write and fatigue which makes me have zero energy. I'm on Co-codamol 30mg/500mg  x 2 three times a day, Tramadol 50mg x 2 twice a day and my latest medication is called Gabapentin 100mg x 2 three times a day and also Voltarol Gel which I apply to my back every night before bed and also on any joints which aches/when needed. It is alot to remember and I'm forever going back and forwards to the doctors and chemist but touch wood this medication routine is doing the best it can do. That isn't to say it don't hurt because it bloody hurts so much but I think I am getting better at dealing with the pain. I wake up every morning stiff without doubt and it takes about anything between a hour to two hours before I'm not stiff. Hot water bottles are my best friend when I'm having a bad flare up but also a good old cry helps haha. The fatigue and lack of energy has been the biggest thing to deal with lately. Although my insomnia has gone which means I am getting a good amount of sleep and waking up at 8 am every morning without fail, I am feeling so tired and no energy during the day and lately I have been making myself stay awake and do something because before I was going up to my bed and falling asleep and not waking up til early hours of morning which was making me crazy. 


Other illnesses stuff.. I will do another post on my depression, anxiety and panic attacks otherwise this post will be so long ha. Although it has been a few months since my last health update, not much has changed to be honest. Apart from one new medication, colitis getting worse and pain in wrist. I have an health assessment next month which I am very worried about to be honest, even though I know I'm clearly not well to work but I panic sooooo much. If anyone has had or have any tips on this assessment please let me know. This no energy is meaning I am taking double the time to do simple tasks so a normal few hours of basic housework lately is taking me a whole day. Once my morning Tramadol kicks in I literally try and do some housework and literally soon as I feel the painkillers wearing off I will stop and try and rest but some days the painkillers don't do their job. Another example is this post, now this would usually not take me long but I started at lunch time, had to sit down for over an hour then I have to sit up and down and so on and now it is 4pm so 4 hours to do this post grrrrr. I promise I will not leave my next health update for so long next time :)


Love Katie x 

Twitter - Instagram 

Dealing With Negative Comments #2

It's been over 5 months since I wrote this blog post HERE about dealing with negative comments. That post had so much amazing feedback on Facebook, twitter and emails and also the National Ankylosing Spondylitis Society Facebook shared the link to my post there and I had amazing comments. It is one of our most read post and I think the reason why is because its one of those things that chronic illnesses people get 99% of the time but yet no one really talks about it.

Since that post I have been diagnosed with Colitis which I have written about HERE. So I have had a whole new experience of different types of crap comments. It has been harder to deal with it this time to be honest as I think I have gotten used to the comments about my Back but with the Colitis it is all sort of new to me. I have all new symptoms, medications with side effects, have to watch what I eat and have canceled so many plans because of a flare up. I still get the "exercise and your back pain will be cured", "You're too young to have arthritis", "You don't need your medication", "Take Painkillers and your be fine" but now I have a whole new type of comments related to my Colitis such as "Just take your Asacol and eat whatever", "You're eating the wrong food", "It is just IBS", "It will just go away if you loose weight". It has only been a few months since I was Diagnosed with Colitis so I don't really know how it will be controlled and treated. I am on a trial medication and then I go back to see my consultant to see where I go from there.

There is one comment that I have even been told by a "Doctor" and family members ect.... Oh your Depression and Anxiety are the reason you have a bad back and bad stomach. I went to see a doctor at a Pain Management Clinic and I never felt so small and offended in my life. He said it all down to Depression but if he read hes notes properly he would of seen that I was not depression for the past 3 years and my depression has only come back at the start of this year because I'm finding it extremely hard to deal with illnesses ect so its made me very depressed. I'm very very lucky my GP is the best doctor I have ever seen, he is so understanding and makes me feel like he is generally worried and concerned. My GP made me realized that going back on Anti Depressants are going to help as I spent ages being against going back on them and since I have been on them, I have felt like I can cope better. He always books double appointment so He can go through all of my illnesses and make sure my medication is up to date and right ones ect. I truly don't think I would cope if I had another GP. 

I'm finding it a lot harder to blog weekly as when I have a back and colitis flare up, I'm in agony and last thing I can do is sit on the comp and write. The NASS Facebook page is really helpful and also on Instagram there is lots of people suffering with chronic illnesses and it helps knowing that we are just normal people who post random pictures on Instagram ect. I've had someone say " Why are you on Facebook, twitter, Instagram and using your iPhone when you're sick" and I was like what you on about and they replied "Surely if you in pain you can't use your phone"... People like that are so uneducated and bloody rude who don't think before they open their mouths. 

Having a blog with Bethany has really helped me cope with my illnesses and knowing I'm not the only one. If you have chronic illness please email, twitter, Instagram or comment on the post as I would love to speak and know all the tips and trick to ignore negative comments and rude people. 

Love Katie x 

Instagram - Twitter 

Pain Is Lonely

I saw this quote on Pinterest and instantly  agreed and can relate to it so much. Having two Chronic Illnesses has made my life changed so much and most of the time I feel lonely. I have to decline some family events or days out because of the pain which makes me incredulity down and lonely. I spend most days at home, in my bedroom, in pain and dosed up on painkillers and other medication I'm on. Apart from the rare occasion of days out, the only day trips are hospital and doctors appointments. I see my GP twice a month which can be more it depends, consultant for my Colitis, consultant for my Back and Pain Management Clinic  so my diary is always filled up with appointments. Soon to have a check up update appointment on my fertility/ovary ect which will mean doctors/nurse app, ultrasound and then to a gynaecologist and not forgetting the blood tests I have regularly. Being ill itself is like a full time job and I hate when people think we are lazy and I tell you what, I would swap my pain for a normal full time job anyday. 

Pain wakes me up at 3/4am so I can be up til 6am and that when I feel lonely most. I'm so glad one of my dogs sleeps in my bedroom overnight. Buster always wakes up if I'm in pain to check how I am, he is a bloody diamond. Pain can even make me feel mad and angry sometimes. Angry that I can't sleep, angry when I get to sleep that the pain wakes me up, angry when family members think I'm lazy, angry when you don't see the doctor you trust and always see, angry when they say " We need to see you in 6/8 weeks but we have no appointments til 3 months time", angry when the chemist give you wrong amont of tablets, angry when the chemist  forgets to put in a certain medication. There are many more reasons that make me angry, mad and lonely but I would be here all day if I said them all. 

I've always be a person who likes their own company but since being ill it's made me realise how much I'm greatful for when I spend time with people. A weekend in Essex with my family is basically like a holiday for me and I try to not let pain get to me. Although pain is there constantly but when I'm happy with people I love I make myself try to ignore it. The train/tube journey to Essex absolutely kills my back & last time I was feeling sick due to my medication side effects but I tried to put that to the back of my mind and think of the reason I'm on the train. 

Pain is lonely but people with Chronis Illnesses and people who suffer with pain we need to not let it make us anymore lonely. Also it is totally okay to feel lonely and it is normal to, don't let people make you think you're lazy. We are ill for god sake and the amont of bloody side effect medications gives us we are totally allowed to rest. 

Love Katie xx 

Being Diagnosed With Colitis

If you have been reading my "Katie Health Update" post you would of know I have been having bowel problems for a long time but I never really went into too much detail. Without sounding gross its hard to explain bowel problems as you can imagine to be honest. 

A bit of a background.. I was diagnosed with IBS many many years ago so always suffered with bloating and had to watch what I eat ect then about 3 years ago I started getting other problems which in those 3 years its results in me having three operations, treated for various things and being put on many treatment/medication but still nothing seemed to help. In January of this year I had an operation which I wrote about HERE. During that operation a few biopsies was taken and I didn't really think much about the results as I have so much other illnesses going on that I didn't worry at all. On 20th February, I went to see my Surgeon and because I've not got any answers for years I simply didn't expect any news. Mr George (my amazing specialist) just came out with it but Im glad as he didn't beat around the bush and literally explained everything so simple and clear.. He diagnosed me with Colitis. I finally got the answer I've been wanting for so long. I now can rest knowing they know the cause to all the pain and trouble I have suffered with. You can click HERE to learn more about what Colitis is as to be honest I still don't know much about it but basically Colitis is inflammation of the inner lining of the Colon. It is such a relief to finally know the reason to all my symptoms over the past few years but its a weird feeling as I slowly begin to realise that this is a long term illness and treatment will be needed for a long long time. I've been given Asacol and seeing my specialist again next month to go through things properly and put a proper treatment plan into plan. 

image from pinterest 

So it is a weird feeling of being happy you finally got diagnosed but then also confused and sad about what the illness actually is. Having Ankylosing Spondylitis (I done a post HERE explaining everything) was such a shock that I've sort of became used to being told crap things about my health. Having a Chronic Illness it sort of makes you stronger in a weird way, I feel like I've put up with some much crap from people and so much pain than I have made myself more strong and I don't give a crap about things I use to worry about now. I suppose it hasn't really sunk in yet and maybe I should be worrying alot more than I am? Chronic/long term illnesses makes a MASSIVE impact on yourself and feelings, my head is always all over the place. I never know what to say, do or feel and guilt is a massive part of my life at the moment. Guilty for feeling ill, for being in pain and for moaning..  I always think I shouldn't moan as Im lucky to be alive?! Arghhhhhhh am I the only who feels alot of emotions and guilt about having illnesses? 

Love Katie x 

Katie's Health Update #5

Pics from my last operation.

Opps!! Its been well over a month since I done my last update here. I have honestly had so much going on that I have forgotten lol!! So my last update I told you all that I was getting ready for my next operation on the 29th January and I posted about it here. Click on that link to hear more but without going into too much detail it hurt so much, the actual operation and recovery itself was so painful. I get the results from this operation and my operation in December on 20th Feb so soon which I shall keep you all updated on. 



I also had my back specialist appointment few days before my last operation and I didn't get any answers I thought I would of gotten. The specialist I never seen her before and in all honesty I didn't like her, she didn't ask much questions, didn't read my notes properly and basically she has forward me to another specialist. That is only problem with my back people is that I never see the same person which is annoying. The first person I saw who is my actual main doctor for back she was brilliant but I never saw her again. My back is same and as always getting worse, it was a year the other day that I started getting this pain and nothing has really been done, I've just been given loads of medications and I feel abit fed up. So lets hope the other specialist they have referred to can give me answers. 

Bandage.. rather attractive haha 

Another thing that has recently started.. Few weeks ago I started getting pain and aches in my right wrist and just put it down to slept funny on it/cold weather but it was getting worse and seeing as I had a doctors app the week after it started I thought I would mention it to him. He has given me some gel and told to apply a bandage type on which helps alot but have to go back next time I go to see if any better if not he going to do a xray. He said it might be related to my back problems which is why he wants to keep an eye on it. The gel doesn't seem to do anything to be honest as I don't notice the pain go when I apply it. Sometimes the bandage helps alot and sometimes it makes it worse. It's something I never really suffered with and because it is my right hand as seeing as Im a righty I think it makes it worse because naturally I use that hand more. Its made simple tasks seem harder. I hope it just a pain that will go soon to be honest. I went bowling the other weekend for Beth's mum birthday and no idea how but I won bowling even though I was in alot of pain with my wrist and back lol 


I didn't know whether to write about this because it quite personal but I thought I might help someone. I was first diagnosed with Depression 10 years ago this year and while at my last doctor check up, the doctor just randomly ask me how I was feeling? and I sort of poured my heart out to him and thought I might aswel be honest to him. He is a newish doctor to me but I trust him as he has been so good with my back. I've been feeling depressed, anxiety and getting alot of panic attacks over the past few months, although I had all above for ages but recently it has got worse and I didn't want to admit it. The doctor booked a double appointment for the next week to speak more, so I went to the appointment and weirdly I opened up easily. He suggested talking therapy but its something I don't feel that would help at the moment, I've had therapy on/off since I was 12 so I didn't feel like it would help right now. Im not saying it doesn't help because it does but in my life right now I don't feel like its for me. I have Beth in my life now who I can talk to about everything so I know she is sort of my way of "therapy". So he suggested going back on Anti Depressant and at first I was like Hmmm... But think I thought to myself there is no harm of trying them again, I've been on so many types but my life is alot different now so why not give them ago. He has prescribed me ones that I was on few years ago and ones that are safe for me as Im on a few other medication. So I only been on them a week and obviously from previous years I know they take ages to kick in so I can't say much about them. I urge anyone who feels low or down to tell your doctor, I wished I done it months ago to be honest. Just telling your doctor takes a massive weight of your shoulders. 

image from pinterest.

Another thing that I haven't told the doctor about but Im going to mention it because its turning me into an emotional wreck. I've been having Insomnia for so long now. I haven't told doctors as I thought it would go but its getting too much now. I have tried so much to help but nothing seems to work. I could have the busiest weekend and still not sleep arghhhhh. 

That's all for my #5 health update, I will do it next month in the first week rather than leaving it for so long like last time. opps! Got my bowel specialist on Friday so hopefully I will get some answers :) 

Love Katie x 

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Health : Dealing with negative comments

As you can tell my the title this is about my personal experiences on having people being extreamly negative towards me to do with my condition. 

I've wrote a post here explaining what my condition is but long story short I have ankylosing spondylitis a type of arthritis. I totally understand it's hard for my close ones and people around me to get what my conditions means and what it stops me doing and how I react during a flare up ect but it's obviously natural for some family members to be totally negative and blind by the truth. Lucky enough my Mother, brother & Bethany totally understand and really their opinion is all I need as they are the ones who support me the most and who I love forever but without going into who and names ect it's hard to deal with people who basically class you lazy for having a condition. I've spent many times explaining to family what this means for my now and my future but yet certain ones don't seem to listen. It's very frustrating as my condition is out of my hands there is nothing I can do cure it or make it go away and trust me if there was I would be trying my hardest to get rid of it. I get comments like " you take too many medication", " just exercise more", " your young it will go " and " when will you go and get a proper job"!!! Those comments have been told to me since I was diagnosed in May 2014 and each time they are said I still get upset and hurt by them which is stupid as I shouldn't let it get to me but it does. 

I've tried my very hardest since having this condition to make myself pain free at possible but as time goes on Im experiencing more and more pain. It gets me down, it makes me have sleepless nights worrying and it makes me cry at the feeling that I'm failing at life but I know I have no control of this condition. Although it's been nearly a year since I've been suffering but I'm in very early stages and in that year I've been trying a lot of medication which some haven't worked and some I found out I'm allergic to and ended up in hospital due to vomiting blood from the reaction but the negative people seem to think I will get the right medication soon and then be totally painfree and can be "normal" in their eyes. 

If these people wasn't family members it honestly wouldn't bother me but I have to see these people on a weekly basis and I love these people which hurts even more. I hope over time they can be more understanding as my condition ain't going to vanish and in time I will need their support. But as I've said I've got my mother, brother and Bethany who understands, gets it and give me 100% support. Bethany is the person I text during the night when I'm upset and in pain and she totally calms me down even though it's over the phone she means alot of me. My mother is here 24/7 and I admit sometime she can be not so  understanding but I know she doesn't mean it as at the moment she is going through medical problems herself so we are each other's rocks and support but also stuck in the same house 24/7 so natually it can be draining and hard but we are both thankful for each other. I'm sure she feels the same... Well she better haha... I know she is reading this lol!!! 

Have any of you had similar experience and have any tips on how to deal with these negitive comments? Leave a comment or email me as it would be good to hear other people's stories reguarding this subject. Thanks for reading :) 

Love Katie x 

Katie's Health Update #2

Hello everyone, This is my second health update and so far it has helped writing down day by day as it helps when I next see my GP or Specialists I can tell them when or what time I get pain or what triggers it off ect. This week hasn't been a very good one as I had an Colposcopy on Wednesday and since then I have been getting alot of cramps and pains so it has stopped me from doing much also with the back pain constantly being there. With disturbed sleep, waking up early hours and not being able to get back to sleep, falling asleep during the day and also side effect of medication makes me really groggy. Here is my weekly health update ... 

Check out my illness story here. 


Sunday
I got up pretty early to get ready to head to Essex for Beth's birthday meal. I knew a 1 hr 30 mins car journey would need painkillers and a pillow (for my back) so I got all prepared and took two Co-Codamols just before we set off. I was feeling okay actually but soon as we got there and sat down for the meal my back killed. I was due another dose of painkillers but nothing was working. We headed back to Beth's parents house for a coffee and sitting on the sofa made me so relaxed and wasn't in much pain. Headed home we drove thru London and I went back with My Brother so didn't have the back pillow and wasn't due painkillers yet so I was in pain the whole journey. Soon as we got home we all sat down for about 20 mins then all headed for bed. I took my strong painkillers and off to sleep I went early. Thank god I went to sleep early and easily.


Monday
Up early again.. but I woken up feeling pretty rough which I don't know whether its because of my medication or feeling run down. Me & Bethany came downstairs about  9 am had coffee and left over birthday cake for breakfast opppsss.. and my back was in alot of pain. I headed upstairs around 3 pm  to my bedroom to see if laying down on my bed would help and I feel asleep for few hours so I must of been feeling run down. A hot water bottle, cups of teas and painkillers are my best friend today.  


Tuesday
Today I got up early ish, had bit of pain but once painkillers was taken the pain settled. Quite a relaxed morning and then at 2 pm I went to Beth's consultant with her as my Brother was working. Luckily we got a taxi there and back due to both of us being in alot of pain lately and obviously with Beth being heavily pregnant. I looked after Ava this evening as Beth & Tommy went for a "Date Night" aka meal and cinema so I fed Ava, give her two bowls of ice cream (don't tell the parents), had a bath, sat in my bedroom for a hour just chilling then off to bed she went. Chilled and relaxed evening to be honest and not in that much pain so it makes life abit easier. 


Wednesday 
I had a Colposcopy today and it wasn't very pleasant. I blogged about it here if you want to read or know what they are like!! The pain was like a pain I have never experience it hurt so much!! Back home I rested on Sofa with hot water bottle and dosed myself up with Tramadol as I had stomach cramps, bleeding and bad back. I didn't do much and I was told to rest for a few days. 

Thursday
Woken up with alot of stomach cramping and back pain!! I put on some comfy clothes got a hot water bottle and sat on the sofa. I was very frustrating not being able to do much as I felt kinda okay but the pains in stomach are so sharp it stops me from bending down ect. Not alot happened today so just general hot water bottle, rest and painkillers.

Friday 
Okay so today I admit I did over do it which resulted in me being in agony once I got into bed. Didn't stop all day, with loads of Halloween stuff during the day and then trick and treating in the evening. We was all in bed by 9.30 pm but somehow I didn't sleep til 2 am because of the pain. 

Saturday
Still got sharp stomach cramps and alot of lower back pain which has gone down my leg so going to try and rest after a busy day yesterday. My Gyne did tell me I would get pain from the Colposcopy for up to 7 days after but I'm keeping a eye on it and the cramps are so sharp its stopping me from bending down ect. Currently sitting on my bed with hardly any make up, lounge clothes and with laptop all dosed up with medication. Shall be watching football, X factor with cuppa of teas and try and rest :) 


So here is my weekly health update, next week I have doctors to discuss medication ect. Hopefully my cramps in stomach will have calmed down over the next few days. Come back next Saturday for my 3rd health update :) 

Lots of love,
Katie x

Katie's Story : Ankylosing Spondylitis

Weirdly as I thought to write this I learnt that is it National Arthritis Week. Here is a link to the official website if you want to read and know more about it. Although I am very early into my diagnoses, Arthritis has effected my life totally and changed it since January. With being so young it totally shocked me and made me realise how much health is valued and how much it is so important to keep so healthy and generally fit. I have been told this will effect my life for a very long time but can been controlled with medication and other things like swimming ect. I'm not even half way thru getting the right medication and it may takes years but I wanted to share my story. At first I let it get to me and got very down and still now I get days I sit in bed and just want to cry but I have learnt you cannot let it stop your life.  


On 9th May 2014 I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis. Something which I had never heard of before and something that would change my life...

January 2014 : 
I started getting back pain but not just any old back pain. Females often suffer with back pain due to hormones and periods ect but this felt totally different to any pain I have experience before. I just took paracetamol and hot water bottle for a bit to see if the pain got any easier. 

February 2014 :
The pain was getting unbearable to the point where I made a doctors appointment straight away. The doctor prescribed me co-codamol and said to come back within 2 weeks if not any better. The pain was getting worse so back to the doctors I went, the doctor sent me off to a blood test and to have physiotherapy. Off I went for the blood test and physio the week after. Honestly Physio made things so much worse at this point I felt so down with the pain. 

March 2014 : 
I got a call from the doctor's receptionist to book a appointment with the doctor for results from the blood test. I generally thought nothing of this as it was a general blood test so was expecting something else. I wasn't nervous or anything, as I went into the doctors room I could tell by hes face that something wasn't right. He explained how something came up in my blood test which is very rare and needs to be tested in other way before a full diagnoses. So off I went for X-rays on my back, neck and joints a week after. 

April 2014 : 
By this point I was in more pain and my sleeping was getting affected by the pain so I was put on Tramadol to take at night to get me to sleep. I got another call from my Doctor to say I needed to do another blood test this time it was a special one. Thank god at this point I had my strong painkillers otherwise I wouldn't of known how I would of went by day to day. 

May 2014 : 
Back to the doctors again ( its was becoming my 2nd home ), I remember it so well as it was 8th May on a Thursday as that weekend I was going away with the girls. My doctor explained how the bloods  came back that I have the HLA-B27 Gene and he forward me to a Specialist of Rheumatology. 

June 2014 : 
I went to see My specialist for the first time, I was totally nervous as I didn't know what to expect. My Specialist explained everything and what the Gene is ect and examined me. She sent me off for a MRI scan to get more answers but I was told the condition I was being tested for may not show up in any X-Rays or MRI scans for years and years. Totally different from my back pain but I was rushed to hospital for vomiting blood which was caused do to some medication I was on for my back. I was taking Naproxen for a few months but wasn't giving a PPI ( protects the stomach as the Naproxen upsets the lining of the stomach ), so due to not been given the PPI with the Naproxen it caused me to have internal bleeding and was in hospital for few days. This meant I was taken off the Naproxen which was quite annoying as they did calm the pain down. 

July 2014 : 
Off I went for my MRI scan, Honestly the most scariest thing as I suffer with panic attacks also being straight for 1 hour was impossible. I had to have the test repeated after as they couldn't get a clear reading. I was so nervous and couldn't keep calm. A week after my MRI results were back and I was my specialist. This time it was another person as the usual one was away. She told me "Ankylosing Spondylitis" is what I have but it could take a very long time before they get the right medication for me to be put on. I was prescribe with a medication called "Amitriptyline" which is basically a antidepressant but they also use it to relieve the long term pain of Arthritis. 

August 2014 : 
I was told I would have 6 months of instant physio and the new medication before going back to see my Specialist which works out Dec/Jan. Didn't hear back from physio so rang the department at my local hospital and my specialist and was told the form wasn't sent thru. The pain at this point was same it has been for few months. 

September 2014 - 
Still haven't heard from physio so went to my GP he got in contact with my specialist and she said she "forgot" to send the request form thru.. ANNOYING!! So this meant I am 2 months behind on physio. The pain hasn't really settled and the hot water bottle has been my best friend this month. 

October 2014 ( NOW ) - 
Very annoyed with my Specialist and Physio as I STILL haven't heard. I have been ringing so many people and departments and still can't get why I haven't been given a date to start. I have been walking alot more which means I haven't rested as much so back been alot more painful. The no sleeping is back and general feeling down. I haven't felt much benefits from my new medication to be honest but was told that they might not even work. 


This is my story so far and Im sure it is a story that will never end. This link HERE is all the information to what Ankylosing Spondylitis is. I still don't understand it 100% and most of my family can't even pronounce it ha. 


I would like to thank my family and specially Beth who understands and helps me alot. Whenever I feel crap or down Beth is always there to listen to me have a rant or just to have a hug. 


Love Katie