Feeling alone By Katie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeling alone

 

 

At the weekend my health messed up a family fun day Saturday which made me rather sad and couldn't help but feel alone! 

When you have chronic illness you feel so alone. When I say alone I mean because I have no one in my family that suffers with a chronic illness similar to mine so it's genuinely hard to talk out loud about my health as they do not understand. Alone because most family birthdays meals I cannot attend because I'm either in a bad flare or can't eat anything on the menu so I'm left at home alone and I end up feeling so isolated. The one thing that really upsets me about missing family occasions is when I get certain family members saying that I'm choosing to not go out and that I don't want to socialise which couldn't be further from the truth. Of course I want to go out, attend all family meals or events and socialise but I've realised that you HAVE to put yourself and your health first. I've spent many times sitting in a restaurant putting on a totally different mask and acting fine when in reality I'm sitting there with stomach cramps, my joints are in crippling pain and my eyes are wanting to close from severe fatigue. The smile I put on in those situations is totally fake. How can I smile when I'm in so much pain. Sometimes putting on an mask and a fake smile doesn't  work in my favour! Unfortunately It makes some of my family members think that I am absolutely fine and that I am lying about being ill. It leaves me thinking what is the lesser of two evils? Grinning and bearing the family meal in crippling pain or putting myself first and not going and facing the criticism of some not so understanding family members.

 

The weekend just gone, I planned to go to Battersea Old Windsor Fun day on the Saturday with Beth, my nieces and my brother, we planned this ages ago and we was all looking forward to it. The evening before I got ready to have an early night then all of a sudden my colitis really flared up big time to the point where I was on the toilet from 10pm until 7.40am so I was incredibly exhausted from just running back and forward to the bathroom. At 8am I thought lets get an hours sleep so I can have some energy for the day out but soon as I closed my eyes, my bowel had other ideas meaning I had no other choice than to cancel the plans and stay in bed instead. I was so exhausted and the toilet trips continued till Saturday evening and I was home alone so I felt even worse and more alone. 

Luckily I have my three dogs who drive me mental but they follow me to the toilet, cuddle me on the sofa, always by my side in bed and make me laugh. I am so glad that I live with my Mother, something I thought at 24 years old that I wouldn't say but honestly I couldn't be without her. 

I really hope that my health starts to improve as I hate missing out on all these family events, I will be sure to keep you all update on my health and my story.

until next time

Katie x

Katies Health: Being On Steroids

For the past few weeks I was on Steroids for my Colitis which I have written about HERE. In March when I was diagnosed with Colitis, I never thought I would be on steroids any time soon let alone this year. I always knew about Steroids but didn't really know the side effects or that there was different ways of using them. I just thought it was a tablet but the one I was prescribed is something totally different.

So the steroid my consultant prescribed me was called Predfoam Enema which you can read about HERE if you want to understand more about what theses one do but without going into too much information, I had to basically place into my rectum!!! It wasn't a nice experience and it took be a few days to get the idea of it and still don't feel comfortable doing it. The first week of being on these I was in Essex so it took my mind being on this to be honest. I was told to do it the same time each day but I just done it whenever I could. I was only given a few weeks worth of the steroids and then got to go back to my Gastro consultant  to see what the next step of my treatment is. So far I haven't noticed any difference and my symptoms have got worse. The past two weeks I haven't been out of the house much apart from going to the Doctors as I feel so anxious about flaring up in public. I have now been put on a low residue diet which I have only been following for the past week and it has helped a little bit already so I will continue to follow it and will do a blog post in a few weeks to see if it has made any difference.

I am still on Asacol which isn't helping much but my consultant wants me to carry on with them until my next check up which should be soon. Hopefully will get my gastro appointment letter through soon as I just want my symptoms to settle down abit.

Anyone else with IBD reading this been on the same steroids? What is your thoughts on them? Let me know :)

Love Katie x

Life/Health/General Update//Katie

For a few weeks now I haven't written an post, turned on my laptop, looked on bloglovin or even logged into blogger. The first week I was preparing for Essex and I had a hospital appointment to do with my Colitis so I didn't have time to use my laptop and then the 2nd week I was in Essex and although there is Wi-Fi there I like to spend family time and make the most of my time there. 3rd week so last week wasn't a good week in terms of my chronic illnesses so I thought I would just start blogging again on a Monday with a fresh mind and hopefully am back on track and into a routine again.


I've been on Steroids for the past two weeks for my Colitis and the side effects are bloody awful. I go back to the Gastro to see if I will carry on with the Steroids or another type of treatment. I will update and speak about this more in another post. Last week I visited the Dietician and gotten loads of information and have totally changed my diet so might do a post about that as its been hard and interesting. I had the best time in Essex the other week and it was so good to just free my mind, clear my mind and come back to Windsor with a fresh mind-set.

When I came back from Essex I felt motivated and although I had a bad train journey home with illnesses but I felt good but then when Sunday came I totally lost that motivation. It was a mixture of depression, anxiety, colitis, Ankylosing spondylitis, family being dicks and general being pissed off so I thought I am not in the right mind frame to blog or basically be human and socialise. Next Monday I am back to Essex for a week again and now that the kids are back to school I am going to let Beth do lots of blogging while I look after Bella for her... I haven't told her this but I'm sure she will be okay with it haha.

So this week I have to get my shit together! I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday, collect my monthly prescription, pack for Essex and try and blog as much as I can. Saying that it all depends on how my Colitis and back are. This post is just to explain where I have been and that I am back with a fresh mind :)

Love Katie

 

Life Lately/Birthday/Health

       

Life has been bloody crazy lately, it was my birthday on 30th April then that weekend I went to Essex and that was a perfect weekend. I had mixed emotions on my birthday to the point where I decided to not go for a meal like I've always done and seeing as I didn't have my brother, sister in law and nieces around I thought there is no need to celebrate, in fact my Colitis was bad that day so wasn't a good day anyways. 

Previous to my birthday, Beth has been telling me she got me a birthday surprise and me being not one to have surprises or anyone make much effort on my birthday I honestly didn't have a clue. I don't like attention and I'd much prefer letting someone else take main stage. I love nothing better than buying gifts for people and making them happy but when people do that for me I have no idea how to react because it leaves me speechless as I'm not used to it. So when I arrived to Essex it was mid afternoon and rather hectic with Ava, Bella & including their two cousins so Beth decided to give my pressies, card and surprise once girls gone to bed and tommy was home. 

This amazing homemade cake was my surprise. Beth knows I didn't get a cake for my birthday and I haven't for ages and I can't remember the last time I blew out candles so I was literally so shocked and happy. I wished she took a picture of my face because I didn't know what to say. No one has ever made effort like this for me and Beth even made my perfect cake. I also got two very lovely personalisd cards which I love, A lovely photo album which was full of pictures of my Nieces and a Soap & Gloary Birthsy Set. I was so shocked, overwhelmed and happy, all my gifts had so much thought behind them. The Photo Album with pictures of my Nieces and some of Beth and Tommy literally made me so emotional as we don't like close and I miss them all very much so this gift was the best ever because I now have a photo album to look at when I'm feeling sad and also Beth left empty bits so I can fill up so I can have pictures of the girls as the grow up through out the year. I blew my candles out and wished for a pain free sleep hahah.. That's how you know you have chronic illnesses. 

My health has been abit all over the place. So my back been the same and I'm on new medication called Gabapentin  and so far they seem to be working. Along with Co-Codamol, Tramadol and Gel applied through the day to my back. My Colitis hasn't been good to be honest, I saw a totally different consultant who decided to discharge me totally. I was so pissed off because I've always seen the same person but this one didn't have a bloody clue. I went to my GP and he rang the department up at the hospital and has wrote a letter. My GP was very angry aswel and couldn't understand why that person discharge me when I'm still at early stages and on period trial with Asacol. The Asacol seems to work but I've been so bloated and had other symptoms which I won't go into as TMI but it's not good at the mo. 

Moving on to other health stuff, so my depression! My antibiotics have been up to 150MG and they seem to be working and when I'm good I'm very good but  but when I'm down I'm extremely low. I hope it starts to settle down soon. Other random stuff... I've got an ultra sound in few weeks as there was an Ovarian Cyst found on my right ovary which was picked up on an MRI scan I had nearly a year ago and I only just got told!! I've suffered with ovary/womb/women issues for years and yeas so touch wood the cyst has cleared up by itself. 

How beautiful is Bella Mai who I can't believe is 5 months old in few days. I didn't realise until I had Nieces how quickly they grow up and time flies. I'm back to Essex next Thursday as it is Beths sister wedding next Saturday. We are having a spray tan on Thursday, getting our nails done at Lakeside on Friday and all dressed up for the wedding on Saturday. Obviously Beth is bridesmaid and she is wearing an beautiful dress, il see if she can do a blog post on it because it's really a lovely dress for weddings/events ect. As for myself I brought a dress from a Brand called AX Paris, they are in new look, very and Asos and are very sort of bodycom Going out dresses. I found a Navy midi dress which I fallen in love with and it took me 6 months to find out. I'm not overly confident, I don't like short dresses, I hate my arms, I hate my belly and don't like much colours on me so this was a challenge but this one ticked all the boxes. I shall do a blog post as its made someone very shy not confident low self eastern to feeling amazing, confident and happy just by this one dress. Plus it was a good price so I shall do a post next week. 

I still haven't got my laptop fixed so it is hard to do blog posts. I use the blogger app on my phone but I loose interest and it annoys me when it crashes sometimes and don't save the post arghhh! I can use the computer downstairs in the office but it's not the most fastest of comps so I only use that once a week or so. That's all been happening, I say all but I feel boldly exhusated and drained this week. I've had at least one medical appointment a week, it's so many family birthdays in May so I've been having to go into town to get cards, gifts and send them ect. I've been on the spring cleaning around the house and clearing out stuff. I've de clutter and helped mum sort her office and bedroom as she isn't the most organised of people so I helped her as my OCD/organised/tidy person kicked in haha!!! 

Hope you all are having a good May even though I feel like it has flown past. It was my dads 50th birthday yesterday and my brother birthday on Sunday so it's birthdays. The weather seems to be getting nicer but I'm a winter girl. Give me rain, blanket, cuppa tea, on the sofa over the sun any day! 

Love Katie x 

Pain Is Lonely

I saw this quote on Pinterest and instantly  agreed and can relate to it so much. Having two Chronic Illnesses has made my life changed so much and most of the time I feel lonely. I have to decline some family events or days out because of the pain which makes me incredulity down and lonely. I spend most days at home, in my bedroom, in pain and dosed up on painkillers and other medication I'm on. Apart from the rare occasion of days out, the only day trips are hospital and doctors appointments. I see my GP twice a month which can be more it depends, consultant for my Colitis, consultant for my Back and Pain Management Clinic  so my diary is always filled up with appointments. Soon to have a check up update appointment on my fertility/ovary ect which will mean doctors/nurse app, ultrasound and then to a gynaecologist and not forgetting the blood tests I have regularly. Being ill itself is like a full time job and I hate when people think we are lazy and I tell you what, I would swap my pain for a normal full time job anyday. 

Pain wakes me up at 3/4am so I can be up til 6am and that when I feel lonely most. I'm so glad one of my dogs sleeps in my bedroom overnight. Buster always wakes up if I'm in pain to check how I am, he is a bloody diamond. Pain can even make me feel mad and angry sometimes. Angry that I can't sleep, angry when I get to sleep that the pain wakes me up, angry when family members think I'm lazy, angry when you don't see the doctor you trust and always see, angry when they say " We need to see you in 6/8 weeks but we have no appointments til 3 months time", angry when the chemist give you wrong amont of tablets, angry when the chemist  forgets to put in a certain medication. There are many more reasons that make me angry, mad and lonely but I would be here all day if I said them all. 

I've always be a person who likes their own company but since being ill it's made me realise how much I'm greatful for when I spend time with people. A weekend in Essex with my family is basically like a holiday for me and I try to not let pain get to me. Although pain is there constantly but when I'm happy with people I love I make myself try to ignore it. The train/tube journey to Essex absolutely kills my back & last time I was feeling sick due to my medication side effects but I tried to put that to the back of my mind and think of the reason I'm on the train. 

Pain is lonely but people with Chronis Illnesses and people who suffer with pain we need to not let it make us anymore lonely. Also it is totally okay to feel lonely and it is normal to, don't let people make you think you're lazy. We are ill for god sake and the amont of bloody side effect medications gives us we are totally allowed to rest. 

Love Katie xx 

Life Lately By Katie

I can't believe it has been nearly a month since I last blogged. Things got abit hectic at the end of March then I got ill with Chest infection/ Tonsillitis so its been one of those months already. 

So end of March I went to Essex for Beth's Sister Hen Party which was so good. I planned to go down on 26th March on a Thursday but due to Bella being in Hospital, I traveled down by train on Wednesday to help out Beth & Tommy with looking after Ava as they was both at the hospital during the day and then took it in turns with staying overnight at hospital. Bella came out of hospital on the Thursday so I only really got to spend half of the day with Ava but we had an amazing afternoon taking selfies, eating chocolate and playing round. 

Ava & Myself 

The Hen Party was so good. It was the first time in years that myself and Beth have been out properly and got dressed up ect so it was abit nerve wrecking but at the same time it was amazing for us to be out and let our hair down. I didn't drink much due to my medication but I did get abit tipsy but Beth on the other hand got little bit drunk and was so funny. The amount of times she told me she loves me that night was alot and the words coming out of her mouth, I should of recorded her haha but it was so nice to see Beth relax and enjoy herself after the week she had with Bella and awful luck this year she has had it was just nice to see her happy. 

Myself & Beth @ Hen Party 

On the Saturday we had plans to go to Lakeside just the girls but my colitis played up and had an horrible Migraine so I spent all day and night in Ava's bed asleep while having Tommy and Beth checking on me giving me medication and water bless them. 

Bella Mai 

Bella Mai with her Daddy 

As you can see how beautiful is my Niece Bella Mai. I had so many cuddles with her and fed her, changed her nappy and dressed her and I loved it. Yes it did make me extremely broody but it also made me realise that Beth deserves a medal. She has Bella and Ava to look after while Bella been ill for many of months and other bad luck in life lately I just think she is an amazing Mother and she never ever complains or moans. I take my hat of to her, if I was half the Mother she is then I know I would be okay. 

I went home on the Sunday and then that when the illness started. So Bella had Bronchitis, Tommy had Tonsillitis and Beth had an Chest Infection and I was fine while I was there but soon as I got home I started feeling so sick but I never suffer with any throat problems so I didn't expect it. Also it was the week of hardly any doctors appointments so it was nearly a week til I got an appointment and was given antibiotics. The doctor said I have Tonsillitis, Chest Infection and Laryngitis so I was very ill, I lost my appetite so hardly eaten for nearly two weeks, I couldn't drink anything but water or Coke (weird seeing as I usually hate coke). I feel alot better than I was but still got a sore throat and I'm getting my appetite back. My Mother also had an Chest Infection so it was all illnesses for the Family. I didn't feel like blogging at all but now I'm better I feel ready to blog. I sort of lost my blogging thinking cap and didn't know what to write. 

April is my Birthday month and I'm going to Essex end of April for few days so I can't wait. Beth has done some blogging while I was sick so have a read of those..HERE, HERE and HERE. So check them out :) 

I shall do my Health update sometime soon, I have alot to update on as I've had a few appointments since my last update. I shall get Beth to do Bella's update soon as she is nearly 4 months old and has grown up so much. I love seeing the changes and milestones when I see her and also Ava seems so much grown up now Bella is here. She is the best big sister ever. Hope you all have an amazing April. 

Love Katie xx 

Twitter - Instagram 

  

My Kidney Health

I've never really done a health post before, but I thought it would be good to talk about my health issues that I've had me whole life. Why not? There maybe someone out there who can relate...

Basically I am very prone to kidney infections. Pyelonephritis to be exact. I know for us women it's common to contract bladder infections but I get them more often and they sort of skip my bladder and go straight to my kidney. Every time this happens I end up in hospital for a length of time on a drip and on intravenous antibiotics for a length of time. 

This all started when I was a baby. I was really ill, not taking and milk and crying 24/7. My mum was back and forwards to doctors them telling her there was nothing wrong everytime until eventually going up hospital. It was then that she got told I had a bladder infection that had gone to my kidney I had scarring on my kidney and had to spend 6 weeks in hospital and spending my first Christmas in there. Although scarring heals on the kidney I believe this is why this certain kidney is weaker and getting infections frequently. 

When I was pregnant I got an infection my kidney was dialated and had a stone. This resulted In me having a nephrostomy tube inserted into my kidney to drain it, it was in for just over a week. It is a tube that was inserted into my kidney coming out my back with a bag attached to my leg. 

 It was horrible. I'm not going to lie about my feelings towards having the bag. I hated every minute though it did get easier and in the end it didn't bother me as much. It was hard going out and thinking people were staring and laughing behind my back though of course no one knew it was there as my clothes covered it but in my head that's what I want was thinking. Although before I was discharged I was walking around the hospital and it was on show then and someone stared at it like it was something so abnormal that's never been seen before. That's probably why I was so embarrassed about it. It did its job it helped me get better at that point in my life and although I didn't like having it I'm so grateful because it sorted me out. 

I can't describe the pain when I get a kidney infection and unless you have had a kidney infection you will never experience pain like it. I am so scared of getting another one as I don't wanna end up on hospit again. I'm a mother I don't want to be away from my children. 

I think I've bored you enough with my medical history now ha ha. As I say I hope people can read this and relate:) For those who have never had a real bad kidney infection yes it is really painful

And yes it is really easily treated with the right antibiotic so please don't be scared. I only get scared because I've suffered with them all my life and I'm just tired of getting them. 

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxx

A Painful Operation & Recovery

Hello everyone :) So yesterday I had my operation and it actually hurt a lot more than I thought. I was sedated so not totally knocked out but I felt EVERYTHING to the point where they was going to stop but luckily I grabbed the nurse hand, breathed in and out a lot and closed my eyes and it was over. I never want to be sedated every again! It was awful, I've always been knocked out totally for all of my ops so I didn't know what to expect. I literally felt like I had someone stabbing my stomach while kicking it at the same time, thank god it didn't take long otherwise I defiantly would of made them stop. Seeing as the sedation didn't effect me I recovered in the ward so quick, I had tea and biscuits and got changed back into my clothes and was told to sit in the waiting room til the nurse calls me back to be discharged. 

It's only a day after but I'm feeling swollen, cramps and a very sore stomach. I haven't really eaten much proper food and sticking to light food and a lot of fluid at the mo. Compared to all my other operations in the past this one was meant to be the least painful and not so bad recovery but I feel like it's the worse. I think because I've had quite a lot operations for my age that whatever I have done it will just hurt anyways. I've ran out of all my medications but luckily my lovely mother is going to collect them otherwise I couldn't cope with the pain. Luckily I have the weekend and beginning of next week to rest and I hope I feel better soon as next Friday myself and Mother are going to stay in Essex for the weekend at Bethany's yay!! 

I had some biopsies taken yesterday during the op aswel (this op was to do with the bowel area without going into too much detail) so been told my GP will tell me the results in 3 weeks and also going back to see my surgeon in 4/6 weeks to discuss things more which I have no idea what about. I'm all over the place lately with my health to be honest. I'm not feeling myself lately, you know when you get to that point when you're so fed up that you blank out so much stuff. Il shall do an health update next month and keep you all up to date with the results of this op. Let's hope this will is my first and last op of 2015!! Saying that I was told I wouldn't need a operation last year and in a space of 5 weeks I've had two so you can never trust what the doctors say haha!!! 

Love Katie xx

Just a little message...

I have just read in full Katie's negative comment post. Sorry for the late read my dear! Busy few days. 

This post touched me. Katie you are my sister in law and my best friend and to know the pain you are feeling every day is upsetting as you don't deserve it. I know how you have those bad days In which you struggle to get up and it makes me shiver when people have the cheek to call you lazy. I know you can't help it and I know how down it makes you feel when people right your condition off. Just because it ain't heard of a lot does not mean it doesn't exist and is not painful. Some people are very stuck on their ways and will not open their eyes to difference. 

I read the part where your upset because it is only early stages. I know the thought is terrifying, but you have so many possitives. At the moment it's not as it's worse so you can appreciate being able to be active And spending time with the girls. 

For now and in the future I want you to know that I will always be here for you morning noon and night, supporting you. In any way I can. And no matter how down you get I will always do my best to keep a smile on your face. Why? You ask. Because other than your brother no one has never just accepted me, and been a true honest friend, been there for a chat at all hours and has generally had a laugh with me. No other friend of mine has truely cared.  I hope you know that not only are you my sister in law but you are my true best friend too. 

I could have easily said all this by text yes . But I wanted to make this public number one for those other suffers that could relate to Katie's post I want you to know that not all of us this negatively of your condition there is always someone close to you that understand even if you don't know who yet. And number two because Katie is so thoughtful and generally a nice person that I believe it should be known. Katie has enough negativity thrown her way that she deserves some possitivity. 

Don't forget Katie like you said me your mum and Tom are always here....

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxxx

Health : Dealing with negative comments

As you can tell my the title this is about my personal experiences on having people being extreamly negative towards me to do with my condition. 

I've wrote a post here explaining what my condition is but long story short I have ankylosing spondylitis a type of arthritis. I totally understand it's hard for my close ones and people around me to get what my conditions means and what it stops me doing and how I react during a flare up ect but it's obviously natural for some family members to be totally negative and blind by the truth. Lucky enough my Mother, brother & Bethany totally understand and really their opinion is all I need as they are the ones who support me the most and who I love forever but without going into who and names ect it's hard to deal with people who basically class you lazy for having a condition. I've spent many times explaining to family what this means for my now and my future but yet certain ones don't seem to listen. It's very frustrating as my condition is out of my hands there is nothing I can do cure it or make it go away and trust me if there was I would be trying my hardest to get rid of it. I get comments like " you take too many medication", " just exercise more", " your young it will go " and " when will you go and get a proper job"!!! Those comments have been told to me since I was diagnosed in May 2014 and each time they are said I still get upset and hurt by them which is stupid as I shouldn't let it get to me but it does. 

I've tried my very hardest since having this condition to make myself pain free at possible but as time goes on Im experiencing more and more pain. It gets me down, it makes me have sleepless nights worrying and it makes me cry at the feeling that I'm failing at life but I know I have no control of this condition. Although it's been nearly a year since I've been suffering but I'm in very early stages and in that year I've been trying a lot of medication which some haven't worked and some I found out I'm allergic to and ended up in hospital due to vomiting blood from the reaction but the negative people seem to think I will get the right medication soon and then be totally painfree and can be "normal" in their eyes. 

If these people wasn't family members it honestly wouldn't bother me but I have to see these people on a weekly basis and I love these people which hurts even more. I hope over time they can be more understanding as my condition ain't going to vanish and in time I will need their support. But as I've said I've got my mother, brother and Bethany who understands, gets it and give me 100% support. Bethany is the person I text during the night when I'm upset and in pain and she totally calms me down even though it's over the phone she means alot of me. My mother is here 24/7 and I admit sometime she can be not so  understanding but I know she doesn't mean it as at the moment she is going through medical problems herself so we are each other's rocks and support but also stuck in the same house 24/7 so natually it can be draining and hard but we are both thankful for each other. I'm sure she feels the same... Well she better haha... I know she is reading this lol!!! 

Have any of you had similar experience and have any tips on how to deal with these negitive comments? Leave a comment or email me as it would be good to hear other people's stories reguarding this subject. Thanks for reading :) 

Love Katie x 

Migraine From Hell

Hello everyone. So sorry I haven't wrote a blog post in nearly two weeks but there is an perfectly good excuse. As you can see from the title that excuse was a MIGRAINE. So lets start from the beginning..

Image from pinterest 

On 5th January ironically I had doctors early morning and then me and my Mother went into town for breakfast and just a general retail therapy mother and daughter time. I felt generally okay and we got home just before lunch time. I came upstairs and planned to put away the stuff I brought from town but all of a sudden I felt this extreme throbbing pain on my left side of head and came over really knackered so naturally my instinct was to take a painkillers and have a kip hoping I would wake up with the pain gone. Basically cut a long story short this lasted til the 11th January which has been absolutely hell. 

MY SYMPTOMS : 

- Throbbing and pounding pain 
- Pain only on one side of my head 
- Light headed/feeling dizzy 
- Loss of appetite
- Sleepiness 
- Body feeling extremely weak 
- Sensitivity to light and sounds  
- Feeling hot/cold 

I knew this was an migraine straight away but never imagined it would last for 7 days. As we all do I goggled so much and tried every remedies/relief possible and nothing was touching it. I managed to only have one meal per day as I was asleep most of the day anyway so wasn't hungry and I made sure I was drinking plenty of fluids. I was trying to figure out what triggered and caused this Migraine but I could't relate to any of the causes I read. A few people suggested hormonal but I looked into this and don't think it was that so I was really confused and in alot of pain. On the Monday to Thursdays the migraine was constant then on Friday it started easing off early hours of morning but only for a few hours then finally I woken up on 11th January and the pain eased so much, Yes it was still there but it was alot better and by the evening the pain totally gone. Now touch wood the pain has gone and doesn't return but I still feel awful in myself. I feel sleepy, weak and totally drained. Weirdly on the 11th I was going to get an Emergency Doctors appointment or call 111 to see what they advise but obviously the pain went so was no need to. I will mention this next time I go to my doctors as they might give me an idea on what caused this or how to deal with it if or when it happens next. 

So that is the reason I haven't been blogging, on Instagram or on twitter alot. I barely have looked at my phone to be honest, apart from text Beth and check Facebook, twitter ect. Now I have to try and get back into an sleeping routine which is failing alot lately so touch wood I can get back into my normal sleeping time. Also thank god Beth started back blogging while I was having this Migraine so our blog wasn't neglected. Have any of you got any tips or ideas on what caused this Migraine? Let me know :) Now I feel better I can get back to blogging and doing day to day stuff even though in two weeks time I have an week of specialist appointment for my back which will hopefully give me answers and also an operation so I doubt I shall be blogging then but Bethany of course shall be blogging. This is one of the reasons I love and am enjoying having a blog with Beth aka my Sister in Law because it means if either of us are unable to blog then the other person will so it doesn't mean our blog will be quiet and left alone :) 


Anyways Im back :)

Love Katie xx 

Happy New Year - 2015

Happy New Year Everyone :) 

Alot of things have changed over the past few weeks which is why blogmas had to take a sudden end. First of all... Bella Mai Price was born on 19th December at 4.15 am weighing 7 lbs 2 oz who is absolutely perfect. Bella and Bethany are doing amazingly and Beth shall be doing a Bella post soon so watch out for that. Secondly I had my operation on 22nd December which for the first week was pretty hard to recover with being on a soft food diet while it was Christmas which I have kind of failed grr. The op itself went well but the results wasn't good, I won't go into too much detail but I am having to have another type of operation on 29th January which was totally unexpected to be honest and this operation requires more recovery so not looking forward to this one. Am still in recovery with the operation last week so life/blog has been abit slow lately. With my back medication and now new medication, things are abit crappy at the mo. I have been to see Bella a few times and it is so hard not being able to see her daily now Beth lives back in Essex but it makes those few times so precious. I am such an proud Auntie. Ava is so amazing and gentle with Bella and Bella is just beautiful, content and the double of my Brother. They both mean the world to me. 


Our blog may be abit all over the place, defiantly in January and maybe abit of February as it all depends recovery/results ect. Beth doesn't have wifi access so it quite hard for her to blog but she will try her best to at least blog once a week from now on :) 

We are so overwhelmed with the response of our blog which we started in October 2014 and so much has happened since. To our readers, our followers on Twitter and Instagram thank you very much for sticking by us :) We hope we can continue this for a very long time. We hope and wish you all have the best 2015 in health, love and happiness. 


Love Katie 
xx 

Katie's Health Update #3

I'm so sorry I haven't been doing my health update weekly. Life and routine went abit pear shape if you read our blog update here you will understand abit more. 

My health has defiantly got alot worse lately and getting very frustrated with still not hearing from the pshyio and also my specialist who was meant to contact me about a new medication to put me on as I was taken off Amitriptyline well over a month ago now so am purely just on painkillers. Obviously painkillers have alot of impact on your body so November wasn't a great month. I had alot of flare ups and also alot of bad days of awful neck pain. I invested in a neck pillow a week ago and its been like heaven. Another random and new thing is that Im suffering so much with INSOMNIA since November. Its getting too much now and Im going to the doctors soon to see if they can help. Im going days without any sleep at all and days where I feel so unhuman its ridiculous. 

I found out last week that on 24th December (YES XMAS EVE) I have an operation which is for my bowels. I was kind of hoping it would be this year as I've been waiting ages but sooo soon to Christmas isn't idea. Luckily I have zero plans for Christmas day and have a massive phobia of Christmas its self so I didn't mind. The other date was late March next year but I wanted it out of the way and done with as the recovery isn't pleasant. I've had the same op last September and wasn't given the right advice and medication to heal and recover which is one of the reasons it needs re doing but I need to go on an soft food diet for at least 6/8 weeks after which last year I did stick to very well and cut out so many food but this year I slowly started eating the food again but I'm the person who can easily give up anything. So porridge, soap and lots of flavored water will be my best friend over the next few month. 

I'm actually due to see my Specialist anyways for an update I have every 6 months but haven't heard. Im going to see my GP next Monday for my normal update but He was pretty pissed off with my Specialist last time I went as he tried ages to even get through to her on the phone so next week I hope something can be sorted. Im sort of feeling like because Im young they aint taking this very serious. At the beginning I cant fault them as they was amazingly good but it is almost like they stuck me on certain meds and thought now do one. Obviously that certain med done sod all. I hate having to rely on Co Codamol and Tramadol!! And I would wish to have one night, morning or even a few hours of being pain free it would be amazing. I now dread days out where I know I will be walking alot as I spend the night in pain after, I dread car journeys and Im bloody dreading the operation not actually for the actual op but because I can't just get up and move whenever I feel pain and Im scared I wont get the meds I need. Arghhh!!

My Panic attacks and Anxiety levels are crazily high at the moment. I think because of current stuff happening lately and my health getting crap, my anxiety goes mental. Other day me and My mother went shopping, we got the bus there and I freaked out about everything, The busy shops, too many people around me and even getting panic about my Mother walking or being too close to me. Im getting easily and more stressed out over little things like my bedroom not being tidy and over Christmas pressie not being brought ect. 


Im very thankful for having my Mother around lately. She is currently not well so she is home most of the time so having her here helps alot. She does me hot water bottles, makes me lots of teas, dinner and keeps me company when Im down. I don't think she realizes how much of a help she is to me. I shall keep you all updated on my next GP visit and also my operation ekkkkkk nervous.


Love Katie 
xx

A Blog Update

Where have we been?

So few weeks ago we had no other choice than to take a break on our blog due to many reasons which can't be said online. But Me and Bethany are not living in the same house at the moment and where Beth is, she hasn't got a laptop or WIFI so she has been doing her best to keep up to date with her pregnancy update via her phone and rubbish wifi. I obviously have got access to laptop and internet but past few weeks I have been extremely down, ill and lack of motivation to even switch on the laptop. I didn't want to write a blog post just for the sake of it. Hopefully in the early months of 2015 we should have our blog back it's normal 2 blog post a day but for now we will be trying our hardest to keep you up to date with Beth's pregnancy and also few other random post. 

With Beth being back in Essex and me being in Windsor it has meant we haven't seen each other at all over the past weeks which has been so so weird as we were so used to living with each other daily. Not only is Beth my soon to be Sister In Law but she is also my closest friend so it has been hard without her also not having my Niece and Brother around has been so lonely. So the post we use to write together will obviously be taking abit of a break but hopefully our separate updates and other blog post will start again and be back to normal in the new year. 


Essex To Windsor will hopefully and we hope will be back to normal in 2015 where we hope will a new fresh start for all of us and for our blog. We apologies in advance if some days or weeks there is no content and obviously with Bella due any day soon, Ava's 3rd birthday, Christmas and My operation/health there will be days/weeks when it's impossible to write. Sorry!!! 


Lots Of Love,

Katie xx 

Having A Colposcopy

Today I had an Colposcopy as a few month's ago I had some bleeding and my GP found a Polyp on my cervix on a routine internal so the GP forward me onto the Colposcopy clinic. During the time of waiting for this appointment I have stopped bleeding so I wasn't too concerned or worried. Off I went to my local hospital today and stupidly the Colposcopy clinic is right next to the labour ward so the waiting room as so busy and loud but to be honest it took away my nerves. I was called early to my appointment so literally only just sat down to wait. As I walked into the room, I saw this chair with padded support to put your legs on and all this camera equipment and I started to feel scared. The gynecologist went through my medical history and talked me through what was going to happen. So of I went and took my bottom half clothing off, luckily I was wearing dress and tights so at least my dress was kept on. I sat down on this chair and was giving a sheet to put over my private/leg area and I put both legs on those padded leg rest and the gyne pressed a button to make the chair high. She told me to "relax" which is the stupidest thing to say as it is almost impossible to. She inserted a speculum which I've had loads of times before I knew what to expected,It's not painful but is very uncomfortable. Then she inserted an Colposcope to examine my cervix and on the screen next to me I could see inside me which was very strange image. She done some swabbing and other stuff which was very uncomfortable but the pain was sort of okay. Then the gyne found something she was concerned about and wanted to remove it to be sent of for a biopsy. She pre warned me it was going to be abit painful but OH MY GOD. I saw the scissor instrument thing she was using and Jesus it was big..I was looking at the screen when she inserted it. It stung so much and then she had to take more from it and done it again. It was like a one of pain but I was close to tears. Not only was the way I was laying down was making my back hurt but I felt so uncomfortable down there. She removed the speculum and I got up and put my tights back on. I felt so sore and pain down there and similar to a period pain but alot worse. The Gyne explained how I will be bleeding down there for a few weeks and not to get my cervix wet so no swimming or baths for 7 days but can have a shower. As I was walking back to the car I started feeling more pain and started crying as the pain while walking came on all of a sudden and because I didn't expect pain like that I didn't prepare myself. I will be getting a letter in two weeks for my results of the biopsy and to go to my GP when I have the letter so my GP can explain everything. So fingers crossed that nothing is wrong. 

On the way home from the hospital we got caught in alot of traffic and I just wanted to get home, put my pj's on and lay down. Finally after 40 mins in traffic, I got home and instantly got into my pj's and now laying on the sofa feeling very sore and in pain. I've took my normal painkillers I take for my back but the pain hasn't really settled and have got a hot water bottle. The nurse told me to rest for 24 hours and try not to do much but it's really hard to just sit down and not do anything. Thank god I can blog and spend the afternoon on the laptop. I shall update you all on the biopsy results.


Now I shall continue being in pain while looking at my wish list for Christmas haha. 


Love Katie xx  

Katie's Health Update #1

Hello everyone. I thought I would start a weekly update on my health as it is something that has a massive impact to my life and I'm in the very early stages of my illness. 

This week my sleep has been affected so much, no matter how much or less I get, I wake up feeling constantly tired :(

Head over here to read my story on my illness!! 


Monday  
I had a Doctor's appointment to collect a prescription as Tramadol can't be put onto my repeat prescription list soI go once a month to collect that and also just a general talk about how I'm getting on ect. I explained to my Doctor that I haven't heard from Physio yet and the medication called Amitriptlyline which I have taken since July, haven't done what their meant to do. As Im under a specialist my Doctor can't take or put me on a certain medication. So My GP has written to my Specialist to see if its okay for me to come off Amitiriptyline and to go one another tablet and also to chase up my physio. After the Doctor's, I walked into town for breakfast and shopping with Ava & My Mother then We met Beth, Tommy and my Cousin Jimmy near the river to feed the ducks. I stupidly forget to take out my painkillers so I was aching alot. I came home and took it easy for the rest of the day. With a hot water bottle and painkillers. 

Tuesday  
Me, Beth, Ava and my Mother had a "Lazy Day" so we wore our comfy clothes sitting in the lounge with a hot water bottle eating loads of treats so we didn't do much. My back was okay during the day due to rest, hot water bottle and painkillers. 


Wednesday  
I had Ava for the day which I blogged about here, so done alot of walking to and from her school and to the shops. Before I started having back problems walking was not a problem but now too much can make my back worse but a small stroll is good for the pain so I try and not over do it. I try and not take too many painkillers during the day as Im up, about and playing with Ava so I don't want to be feeling the effects from the painkillers. I'm running out of Co-Codamol very soon so I must remind myself to pop in the repeat prescription to the chemist. 

Thursday 
I felt okay during the morning then in the afternoon myself and Beth walked Ava to school, pop to the shops and the chemist and during the walk I started to ache alot. When me and Beth got back we only had time for quick lunch before going back to collect Ava. Needless to say in the evening  I was feeling the impact of walking alot. I get pains down my bottom and back of legs and obviously my back. Popped into bed early with painkillers and a hot water bottle. 

Friday  
After a bad night of hardly any sleep due to pain I was feeling rough this morning. I gotten up quite early, tidied my room ect and off I went to drop Ava to school with my Mother, I didn't actually ache but most probably due to the fact I only just took painkillers few mins before we set off. It was the walk to collect Ava that killed, with Beth being 7 Months pregnant and me with my back its safe to say we was a mess haha. Both was in soooo much pain, we took the longest and slowest walk on the way back. Usually takes 10/15 mins but it took us 30 mins due to we was plodding along slowly lol. In the evening soon as Beth left to go to Essex I sat in bed with laptop and hot water bottle. I cannot wait to have a early night tonight!! 

Saturday  
After a bad night of hardly any sleep, I woken up pretty late and spent most of the day laying in bed and being very lazy as it was just myself and my Mother at home today. I fell asleep about 3ish and woken up at 6ish with a very aching back due to the fact I slept in the most awkward position. It's been a cold, boring and painful day and going to try and have a early night as tomorrow I'm off to Essex to spend Bethany 21st birthday with her and her family. I feel sooo drained with the lack of sleep I'm getting this week GRRR. 


Thats my first weekly health update, next week it will be from Sunday (Tomorrow) til Friday. Next week it is a busy busy week with hospital for most of my family actually, with Beth got hospital on Tuesday and my brother is working so I'm going with her, on Wednesday I have a small operation which is to do with my ovaries/womb so will be feeling abit sore for few days, on Thursday my mother has consultant as she recently had a operation and finally on Friday I have just a general doctors appointment so its a busy week. I haven't really got any further in finding the right medication for me as this week was told Im being taking off my Amitriptlyline soon as its not working for me. 


Hopefully I will be giving the new medication soon or early next month so I can get better quickly. With anyone with this condition or anything similar you are not alone :)


Love Katie xx