Happy 22nd Birthday Bethany

image from pinterest

 

Today it is Bethany's 22nd Birthday so I would like to say Happy Birthday to my Sister In Law, Best Friend and Blogging Partner. You are the most kind, funny and loyal friend I have ever had and I am so grateful that my Brother met you. You are an wonderful Fiancé and wife to be to my Brother and the perfect Mother to my Nieces. We have made some amazing memories together in the time we have been in our each other lives and every time we are together we never fail to laugh. we have lived together, cried together, smiled together and I am so lucky that you are part of my family. Living with you with most of your pregnancy with Bella was an amazing experience. You chosen me to be there for you midwifes appointments, doctors and hospital appointments when Tommy couldn't get time off work and I feel so blessed that you trust, love and care about me that much to want me by your side during that time. It was awful when you moved back to Essex but that didn't affect our friendship and infact in just made us even more closer. You are always there on the other end of the phone when I need you and now you are living closer means we can make so much more perfect memories. You have literally made my Brother into the most amazing man and father and I am so happy he has chosen you to live the rest of his life with. I hope you have the best birthday :) eat lots of cake, put your feet up and enjoy your day. Love Katie x

Where We Have Been

So we haven't been blogging a lot over the past few months which we have valid reasons for but hopefully soon we should at least have one post up per week.

Ava & Bella loving their new home :)

Where we have been?
Me (Katie) well my illnesses haven't been too good lately to the point where I haven't opened up my laptop in ages. My Colitis flare up has no sign of settling down and I am still waiting for an appointment with the Gastro ward. The fatigue is getting the better of me. My painkillers dose has been upped which obviously comes with more side effects so I am like a zombie pretty much most of the day.

Bethany .. welll things have finally gone to plan for her and my Brother and they now are living in Berkshire so we live in the same county finally and their place is about 20 minutes away. It all happened so fast that they had just under two weeks to buy everything for the flat and pack everything up. So on the 19th October Beth, my Brother and most of both of our families all came together to help move in. For the past year they have had bad luck when it comes to finding a place to rent so it was all hush hush when they got the go ahead to move as they didn't want to temp fate.

So things have been abit manic lately and this weekend will be even more manic as on Saturday Beth and Tom are having a little housewarming party/get together, Sunday myself, Beth, Tommy and the girls are off to Harry potter Tour and then on Monday it is Bethany's 22nd Birthday and as Tommy will be working, I am staying the night before so I can spend the day with her and go for lunch and obviously a Costa. Once this weekend is over then I will hopefully well I WILL be seeing Beth least once a week and hopefully most weekends. I shall take my laptop over to hers and as she lives next to Costa we shall be having a blogging costa date most weeks haha.

I have energy for the first time today and I guess the medication and coffee is to thank for that. So I am going to try and write a few posts so I can put them up next week :) Hope you are all well :)

Love Katie xx  

Waiting For An Appointment//NHS Moans

Don't get me wrong I love the NHS and am soooo grateful for it and I honestly wouldn't survive without them but sometimes NHS makes me mad. Like right now!!

When I last saw my Consultant in the middle of August which I was given Steroids for two weeks then for a appointment with the Gastro team literally 2 weeks after to do some blood tests and other test to see if I need to carry on with Steroids or go down another route.. So two weeks came and I heard nothing. Now nearly 2 months on I have heard NOTHING and my Flare Up is getting worse. My GP did ring them up a month and they said they would ring me to give me a date to come in and still heard nothing so yesterday I went to my GP for a medication general update and I explained how my Flare Up is getting worse and how I haven't heard from Gastro ward yet and he was angry so he rang them as I was there and someone on the phone said my details are not on the system so my GP got the number for the specialist to ring in the afternoon. I hope I get a appointment soon as this is the worse flare up so far and the two treatments I've been giving for Colitis hasn't done anything to calm down the Flare Up so I feel very anxious and worried. Of course the fact that this Flare Up is extremely painful with cramping and constant stabbing like pains isn't nice to experience pretty much every second I am awake. Days spent curled up on the sofa dosed up with medication/painkillers with a hot water bottle and duvet might seem like a good day to some people but it has pretty much been my routine for the past year so no this isn't fun.

I just feel angry that I was told literally 2 weeks after I was meant to come and have tests as the consultant I saw was worried and concerned at how quickly my Colitis has got worse. Yet they are in no hurry to get me a appointment which is very important to me. For me to actually get better to get my life back to somehow abit more normal and a better routine. For me to not spend every day in a lot of pain and constant toilet trips. I know in England we are VERY lucky to have NHS and free healthcare and I never usually sit and moan about them and all of my operations have been done well and I will always be thankful to all of my Doctors ect but right now ARGHHH. P.S sorry for the moaning!!

Love Katie  xx

How To Survive Without A Phone?

 



Few days ago I sent my phone off to Apple as it needs to be repaired and it is day three without any phone and it is very strange but it has also made me realised a few things. Luckily I have my laptop so I can go onto Facebook chat and speak to Beth and my family,it isn't the same as texting or whatsapp but at least I get to speak to my family and make sure Beth and my nieces are ok. Without any phone it did make me realise how much myself and probably most people rely on our phone so much. From waking up and automatically looking for my phone to see the time or it being my wake up alarm, to calendar to remind me of all my hospital appointment, reminders to remind myself when to order my medication, my to do list is on there, the pictures on there that I look at whenever I feel down which instantly cheers me up and constantly check on Facebook/twitter/Instagram/snapchat which made me realise how much technology is ruling our lives.

For the past couple of mornings I have been turning on Sky News on my TV to check the time and the news, I actually got up took my medication and got ready where as usually I would spend a good 20/30 minutes on my iPhone. I went to Asda yesterday and actually brought a magazine... okay it has a free Nails Inc Polish in there but I was reading the magazine in the car on the way home which usually I would put my headphones in and listen to music. I have watched a lot of my catch up on Sky which usually would take me forever as I wouldn't be concentrating as once you take a look on Instagram you don't realise 30 minutes later you're still on there. I have been getting to sleep pretty much straight away as I didn't have my phone to look at YouTube videos.

As I said before, I am lucky I have my laptop so I have been on that more often that I usually do but once I get my phone back I hope I don't rely on it as much as I have been. It was nice to sit there with a magazine and actually read something that isn't on a screen. So I'm going to try and make sure I buy a couple of magazines every other few weeks and maybe a book. I hate how much technology is taking over our lives but I think we are all to blame for. I don't even ring up my GP anymore, I go online and book all my appointments and click on repeat prescriptions so it goes to the GP to sign then straight to the chemist so things have got so different now days. I do miss my iPhone though and it is a horrible feeling knowing I can't just text Beth or ring if anything bad happens so I cannot wait for my phone to come back and I will treasure it even more haha. But I think we all need to go back to basics abit, get that magazine, read the books, speak face to face instead of speaking via the phones.

Are we all guilty of using phones too much? Relying on technology too much? I know I am guilty.

Love Katie x

October Adventures

Most bloggers would of got this post up before or on the first day of October but I didn't even realise it was October til a few minutes ago. When you don't have a strict day to day routine and restricted to doing normal stuff, it does make it very easy to forget what time, date and even month it is.



Myself & Ava.. My fave picture taken in September :)

First of all how the hell is it October yet? I do love this time of year as I am a proper winter girl. I love all the warm clothes, cosy darks nights in and all the activities around Autumn makes me feel a lot happier than the summer does. Usually for this time of year the weather would actually be cold but weirdly it is a lot warmer than it used to me. So my coat, Chelsea boots and jumpers are on hold for now. I have a few things to be excited for this month and it is also Bethany's birthday on 26th October so we have some things planned.

For Beth's birthday pressie I booked for me, Beth, Tommy and the girls to go to Harry Potter Tour on 25th October so a day before her birthday. Beth loves Harry Potter and I wanted to get her something that we all could do and also Ava is really looking forward to it so I am glad I booked it as not only will Beth have a good birthday but Ava will have fun aswel. I plan on going to Essex and be with Beth for her birthday So I think I am going on the 23rd Oct which is a Friday and on the Saturday West Ham V Chelsea play aka Beth V Me hahah, Sunday Harry Potter Day and On the Monday is Beth's birthday. Beth made a lot of effort and really made me special on my birthday this year so I want to be able to at least my her day special as she does deserve it. That is really it for activities wise but that is just about enough I can handle at the moment with my illnesses.

Health wise I have a few apps this month starting with Doctors next week and hopefully gastro specialist ASAP as I'm having a bad time with my Colitis which more and more each day is effecting more of my life. I have started some therapy in the past few days so touch wood that helps me. I had a bad experience with panic attacks the other week which has set of my fear of travelling/trains again so I need to remind myself that I have got over that fear once and I can do it again. Last week while I was in Essex I went two days without my Antidepressants as I didn't bring spare... and it wasn't time I got home that I realised how low I became during those two days. I couldn't sleep much because of my pain but I felt like there was a black cloud over me stopping me to think positive and happy.. soon as I got home I took my daily dose of medication and I felt a lot better which made me realise how much the Antidepressants are actually working.

I have written out my to do list which might not be as exciting as others but having daily things that are written out on a list in front of me to see does help abit. I have always been a list writer but since being ill I have found that it helps by writing what you have to do that week without overdoing it. This month I have to get a few more pressies for certain people and also the girls birthday pressies. I have got quite a lot for the girls but as it is both of their birthdays in December aswel as Christmas it means I just buy pressies then I will split in half so half for Birthday and half for Christmas. I'm pretty sure most peoples to do list are way more exciting than mine hahahah. On Monday on my to do list was.. Wash my make up brushes, back up iPhone (its sent to be repaired), wash hair and have shower... Okay that might seem silly but I'm having a bad flare up with my Colitis and pain with my back and joints and having bad fatigue so those simple tasks did take me all day.

What are you all up to in October? Hopefully I can get a lot more blog posts up this month :)

Love Katie xx

Auntie Buys: Matching Outfit From Next

Whenever I go into town I always pop into Next to have a look but not for me, for the girls. I think Next is probably the best shop for children clothes and they actually have both sizes for the girls so they can match. Few weeks ago I was in Windsor and they had this lovely top and leggings for the girls in both of their sizes and the prices are not that bad either.

Watercolour Elephant T-Shirt - £6
I love the quality of this t-shirt which is so soft. I love the sequins aswel it makes a normal t-shirt look more interesting. Perfect length for Ava but bit long on Bella but that is because she is a petite 9 months old baby girl.

Navy Leggings - £2.50/£3.50
To go with the t-shirt I got Navy Leggings which have a crochet lace detail at the hems. They also both have a black pair of these leggings as for the price they are amazing quality. I thought Navy looks bit more interesting than a black pair and thought Navy could go with pretty much most tops.

What I love most about these clothes from Next is that they are in the offer which is 1 for £6, 2 for £10 and 3 for £15 which I think is amazing offer. Not every leggings/tops are in this offer but there are a lot to choose from and I have gotten 3 outfits in this deal so far and will defiantly buy more for the girls. I get Ava 3-4 years old and she is 4 years old in December and it fits perfectly so I may start getting 4-5 years old for her next year and for Bella I got 6-9 months which are abit too big for her but I got her that so she is in the clothes abit more longer than if I would of got her 3-6 months. Bella is now 9 months old and is a very small baby for her age and is still in 3-6 months old clothing but then again it depends on what shops as no shops actually are the same size. In H&M I get Bella 4-6 months which is big and Ava 2-4 years which fits so it is defiantly a hit and miss with shops.

Has any of you guys got this t-shirt or any clothes from Next? What do you think of the price and quality? Let me know :)

Love Katie xxx

Katies Health : Pushing Your Limits

Auntie & Niece Selfie

On 14th September I went to Essex to stay with Bethany for a week but that week turned into two weeks which I had the most amazing time but I pushed my limits in terms of my health. I didn't plan to go for two weeks so I only took enough tablets for a week with an extra few days of spare meds but I thought I would be okay without a few meds for few days but how wrong was I. Looking back I should of went to a walk in centre/hospital in Essex to get my medication but I didn't really think and was in a little bubble. When you have a chronic illness you try so hard for it not to rule your life but it does without you even realising and it is so out of your control.

I came home on 25th September and the train journey home was a nightmare and totally made me panic which I didn't have any medication for my panic attacks so I was literally alone trying to calm down with the help of texting Beth. I have no idea what I was sending to Beth or if it made any sense to be honest but she was doing her best in calming me down via imessage. Once I got some food and drink and got onto the train to Windsor I felt abit calm but the panic didn't really go. I was in pain with back, stomach cramps and as I am in a bad flare up at the moment I was constantly worrying how I was going to go to the toilet with all my bags and suitcase I had. I felt so alone, empty and scared. Alone that I didn't have any medication with me and that when it kicked in that my illnesses are controlling my life and I cannot do much about it at the moment.

With the constant toilet trips with diarrhoea, mucus and blood it makes me so exhausted, the lack of sleep due to back pains and then depression making everyday stuff feel worse than it probably is. My day to day routine is I get up early take my medication have breakfast and get ready like every other person but difference is after than I am exhausted I have no energy left and I don't really feel awake. The first week in Essex I was totally okay, I was eating the foods I am meant to be and I was sleeping good. Yes I was on toilet lots and in ALOT of pain but I was coping good with it but the second week totally knocked me for six. Beth and Tommy asked if I would like to stay for another week and I instantly said yes as I love being with my brother, Bethany and nieces. I hardly slept much in the second week, I was going from Ava's bed to the sofa to Beth parents bed (her parents were away on holiday, I was relying a lot on hot water bottles, gel for my back and what I had left of my medication but nothing was touching the pain. Two days with no medication apart from cocodamol which were the lowest dose literally broken me. When I got back home on Friday afternoon I went and took tramadol ASAP, laid in bed and took my usual meds and I felt abit better.

Basically these past two weeks was a massive learning curve. To never EVER go without my medications and ALWAYS take the box of meds instead of in the pill box. I think people just think Colitis symptoms are just belly related but its the fatigue and pain that make this illness so hard to do normal day to day stuff. Let alone the side effects from the medication I take which constantly leaves me feeling sick and lightheaded ect.

Apart from all that above, I did literally have the best time with Bethany and my Nieces. We all spent lovely quality time together. We baked cakes at 7am, took and picked up Ava from school, watched Celebrity Big Brother together, became obsessed with Desperate Housewives box set on sky, Costa/Tesco trips and much more fun. We all get on so much and constantly are laughing. The next time we get to spend together is in an months time when it is Bethany's Birthday and we are off to Harry Potter Tour woooo.

Has anyone with a Chronic Illness or Colitis got any tips on how to cope when you're away from home? Let me know :)

Love Katie x

Bella: 9 Month Update

Bella 9 Month Update

 

 

 

 

9 months old! Can you believe that she is 9 whole months! Its gone so quick it feels like just yesterday I could feel her moving around sticking her feet in my bladder. She is growing so much day by day and changing repeatedly. When she was born she was the image of her dad .... and she still is. I didn't think I was possible for her to get more like him  ha ha!

 

 

GUESS WHAT!!! we have a third word, BOT BOT. She can now say a total of three words, its madness. I have had to invest  in a playpen as she is like a rocket when she crawls. Its been a godsend especially when I need to get things around the house.

 

We are now trying to introduce finger foods which for all mums can be a worrying time as in the back of your mind you know the choking risk. I have this fear but I am telling myself over and over she has got to learn. I am trying her on milk free bread bought from Tesco and houmous and a range of fruit such as grapes strawberries banana and blueberries so I'll let you know how its gone on the next update. For now though I am pleased to say she has started eating savoury! She is also eating big bowls of breakfast every morning, she gets rather grumpy until she's had it! I haven't had her weighed for a few weeks I'm having her weighed in a few days time but last time I had her weighed though she is still small her weight was coming on nicely.

 

That's all to report this month! until next time...

 

 

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxx

Happy Hair

Happy Hair

I have a bad habit of getting bored of my hair. I used to change the colour like there was no tomorrow since the age of 16, it weren't till I trained as a hairdresser and could tell the damage it was doing that I stopped. However, I still got bored so my only option to change is the length. I have extensions pixie cuts ect.

For the past year and a half I have got used to having a short graduation, I have fell into the habit of letting it grown out then having it cut back in. Its a change and keeps me satisfied without feeling like I need to drastically change the colour.

The last time I had my hair cut was February this year when Bella was just under 2 months old. So it had been 7 months since I last had a hair cut which honestly is not good I had a lot of dead ends and it was really thick. I am doing everyone else's hair and running around after my babies all day I just forget about my hair forget I need it cut or to be honest I would just rather give my children the money. But my hair had got really bad and I decided it needed  to be done, today.

I started looking at local salons last and messaged one through social media, they told me I had to ring the salon to book which is confusing as I thought why cant she just book me in via message. So I got in touch with another local salon via another social media site and they got back to me really quickly and booked me in via inbox message which I found really good, efficient, helpful convenient and modern. This salon is called Hair by Sassy.  

I went into the salon today, I was greeted by a stylist (I hadn't got her name) who was friendly as soon as I entered and made me feel comfortable. There was no waiting around and she cracked on. She was quick working and had had the right amount of chat about her and was very polite and friendly when chatting to me. She even dealt with a touchy Ava running around the place in the right manor she didn't let her distract her. I was impressed with the keenness to help and ensure that I walked out of the salon happy.

I hate walking into salons and feeling uncomfortable and getting that really bitchy feeling. I am impressed with this salon as I didn't get this feeling at this salon, the reason why I think and is something I quite like is because there are only two stylists working there. Unlike most salons I actually got a really relaxed feeling when having my hair done. I can't believe how long this salon has been round the corner and  how long I have just passed it. Safe to say I will not be just passing it any more.

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx

Therapy & Bestfriends

image from pinterest

 

 

Sometimes we all get caught up in our own lives and don't realise what we all need is just a chat or hug with our close ones. With my depression I see my GP every few weeks and I take my antidepressants medications each day without fail and hopefully starting CBT soon and I have the best support around me who is Bethany.

 

If I wake up feeling down, depression, not wanting to get out of my bedroom and speak to anyone I will always text Beth each morning and tell her and just by telling her how I feel helps so much. When I am at hers and feeling down, she always asks me how I am or if there is anything she can do for me and I think people forget that is mostly all we need to make us feel abit better. Just a simple text asking how you are means literally so much. Most of my family are constantly putting me down, not believing depression and never ask the simplest of all questions " How are you". Last week I was in Essex at Beth's and my Depression was not good but it was the most happiest I've felt in ages. Beth does the little things but I don't think she realises how big those little things means. For example making me toast and tea in the morning to make sure I do not have my morning medication on an empty stomach, texts me once we are all in bed to make sure I am okay, asking me throughout the day how I am and always asking if I need anything. The other night face to face Beth said to me " How is your depression going at the moment and how do you feel" and literally I was so shocked it was someone close to me asking me that and not someone in the NHS. By Beth saying that it really made me think how lucky I am that not only have I have an amazing sister in law but also how I have a best friend out of her and my brother relationship. If my Brother didn't meet Beth then I wouldn't have a best friend right now helping me and supporting me.

 

Last week with Beth we didn't do much like activity wise but we chilled, watched Celebrity Big Brother, Had chats and a cuppa, got ready and done make up together and went through lots of Desperate Housewives Box Set on sky and literally I had the best time. To me that was like a therapy session that lasted for 7 days. I think we all need to look close to home and realise we need to be asking the simplest of questions to our close ones. Do we really know how our love ones really are? I've hid depression for years and years with hardly anyone knowing or even noticing so that just proves people can be hiding so much. When I go to the doctors it is nice to be ask how you are. The GP generally wants to know how you are, how your moods are and if you feel any better and I do feel a lot better after coming out of the doctors. When you know people generally are looking out for you, have your best interests in their heart, supports you and never judges that does make whatever your going through a little bit easier. I am so thankful for Beth and I don't think she realises. If anyone close to you simply asks a simple question then maybe ask them it back or tell them how much they mean to you and how much they are helping you.

 

So thank you to my sister in law for being my therapist last week and it is only a few weeks till I see her again... for my next therapy appointment ha!!

 

Love Katie x  

Young and pregnant, follow your heart

I fell pregnant young, I know what its like the stares the sniggers the evils. People will judge and people will think they know best infact they will be pretty convinced they know best they may even convince you young pregnant person that they know better for your future than you do!

The whole negativity that comes from some people when they see this young person showing off her bump buying the babies first booties baby grows and outfits fill the area in which they are in. They can actually make this young  mum  to be feel very uncomfortable they choose to reschedule their shopping trip. While I think that getting it from the public is bad it is much worse coming off family and friends. You get family members who tend to tut at the way your destiny is going, they tut like they have never put a foot wrong. From personal experience it gave a family member a reason to get very nosy and once they had all the info they needed decided they no longer wanted to talk to me. Nice. Oh and a member of  the same family actually deleted me off of social media for it. These people where blood related to me. They treated me like, well I cant say with using bad language but you get the point. Now while I have sort of built bridges with one the other I have not and do not wish too. This woman is means nothing to me anymore. I must say that what they did seem subtle to the next thing I am about to mention. It happened to me when I was pregnant I don't know if it has happened to any of my fellow young mums. The trump card, "I think abortion would be best" This had me riled when it was said to me. This lady was telling me from her experience apparently but how dare she? I was 17 years old young and pregnant confused and hormonal but no I was not stupid and I knew that I loved my unborn baby more than anything and one thing was for sure I was keeping my baby so how dare she say that to me? 

I must say this is a big issue with people trying to manipulate  young minds. But what I cannot stand also is parents saying "I wanted the best or better for her" like what the hell! how naïve just because you have a baby does not mean its the end. Your child can still have a career ect everything they originally set out to do except they will have a little companion in tow. Look at me, yes I didn't set my stakes high but I accomplished my dream of becoming a hairdresser.  Having a baby does not mean its the end you can still achieve your dreams and that would be my advice to other young mums. Yes it may be a shock but don't make any harsh decisions think for a while and don't let anyone make a decision for you this is your life your future your baby YOUR choice.

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx

  

End of bread- quick post

Crusts of bread a feature of every loaf  but not a popular part of the bread and lets be honest it more often than no ends up at the bottom of the bin being thrown  out in the rubbish. It seems such a shame to waste it surely its better to put it to some use if you can. I have one thing I like to do with the crust.

Shepards/Cottage is one of my favourite things to cook, you can produce lots of flavour and the family loves it, its so good to see  them tucking in and going up for seconds. I have a lot I do with it but one thing is the topping. I use the ends of the bread. I use a grater on the side with the small little holes, then add a bit of cheese to it and the sprinkle on the top of your shepards or cottage pie and put in the oven  at a gas mark 5 or 6 for 20-25 mins to warm through and let the topping crust over. This adds flavour and texture to the dish and is a family favourite. You also get the most out of your loaf!

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx

Don't know, Don't Judge

As many of you may have experienced when having a child many of your friends may not talk to you as much, you spend your time knee high deep in nappies, playing comedian to your gorgeous little bundle taking snapshots of every wide eyed cheeky smile and taking on the whole new language of baby talk in order to engage in full length conversations with your gorgeous little person. So while doing all this you tend to forget that you ever had a social life. When you do eventually remember, your friends have moved on and to be honest speaking from my experience the drinking evenings well any evenings out past 11pm is just not your scene anymore partly because your simply just too tired and well  you don't want to leave your precious baby for too long. So it goes without saying you find a new sense of social life one in which you can spend with your child and be home way before 11pm. The answer? Baby groups.

Well I got the chance to join said baby group, I didn't honestly think I would get the confidence to hit it off with any other mums because well quite frankly engaging in full length conversations with people I barely know talking about intimate details like child birth sparing no details was not a strong point. Quite honestly my shyness sucked. I wouldn't mind but it only shows itself sometimes. Needless to say I did engage and too my surprise it was not that scary and I found myself enjoying the detailed stories of child birth and being able to compare experiences. I completely enjoyed going every week and having mums to relate to and having baby friends for my little Bella. It was refreshing something new. I never did any baby groups with Ava, I still had a close friend to go on shopping trips with and be social with ect but that's for another post! As you can imagine I was quite sad when the group came to  an end. delightfully myself and the other ladies exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up, this is a perk to baby groups.

I bet you wonder why on earth I am rambling and want me to get to the point of the title well don't worry I am ...

We met up we had a fab time seeing everyone in another setting (a certain coffee shop beginning with a C) we had in depth convos about parenting shared advice and got to know each other very well.  We all got on perfectly so much so we arranged another meeting. This second meeting is when I started seeing a certain person in a whole new light. We discussed our ages after revealing mine a certain member of the group started to act funny with me, didn't seem to want to  smile at me talk directly to me or quite frankly listen to me. To be honest at first I thought I was being paranoid, but after another meeting she was still the same.

Now why would you judge a person on age? Just because I am younger than the rest of the group does not mean I know nothing. For a start I have 2 children to her 1 I have tons of advice more I could give as I have been done that before. Yes no baby is the same and even I am still learning. These people who judge on matters such as age seriously don't know the person. I have been through some dark times in my nearly 22 years which I have not opened up about to the blog world yet. These are things most people do not go through in their entire life time.

Tonight as I am writing this post asking why? Why does age have to make some one change toward you? Yeah some younger people can be immature but not all, saying that she was fine with me before she found out, had conversations with me listened ect. So literally because of my age that makes the  difference. How does that change the person that I am?

I have thought this over time and time again in my head thinking this is my fault something I have done when the other day I stopped and thought no Bethany you have not done anything wrong your age is not your fault you cant help the year in which you were born and your a mature great person. No, this is small mindedness of small minded people. I would say to people who judge simply don't. You don't know anyone back story you don't know their experiences. In your mind your thinking you look better but you don't. Stop think and get to know. You will look better to people and feel better.

REMEMBER ... Don't judge a book by its cover.

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx
 

Auntie Buys: White Cardigan From Asda George

The other day in Asda I spotted this cute white cardigan with a crocheted design which I thought made a normal white cardigan really pretty and different. This was only £5 which I thought was good considering it is more than just a plain cardi. The material feels lovely quality and with it having long sleeves it is totally ideal for the weather now.

I got size 3 to 6 months for Bella Mai as she is a petite baby who is nearly 9 months old so I hope this fits her now and last over the autumn time. I think a basic cardigan is so essential for any ages to be honest and I am a massive lover of a black cardigan haha!! I shall get a picture of Bella in this cardigan and upload on our Instagram - essextowindsor :)

I do like clothes from George in Asda but they don't do matching clothes in size for Ava and Bella so I tend to not look in there lately but I did a lot of clothes for Bella from Asda when she was in Beth's Belly as their baby clothes are adorable and good price. Have any of you mummy bloggers got this cardi? Let me know :)

Love Katie xx

Katies Health: Being On Steroids

For the past few weeks I was on Steroids for my Colitis which I have written about HERE. In March when I was diagnosed with Colitis, I never thought I would be on steroids any time soon let alone this year. I always knew about Steroids but didn't really know the side effects or that there was different ways of using them. I just thought it was a tablet but the one I was prescribed is something totally different.

So the steroid my consultant prescribed me was called Predfoam Enema which you can read about HERE if you want to understand more about what theses one do but without going into too much information, I had to basically place into my rectum!!! It wasn't a nice experience and it took be a few days to get the idea of it and still don't feel comfortable doing it. The first week of being on these I was in Essex so it took my mind being on this to be honest. I was told to do it the same time each day but I just done it whenever I could. I was only given a few weeks worth of the steroids and then got to go back to my Gastro consultant  to see what the next step of my treatment is. So far I haven't noticed any difference and my symptoms have got worse. The past two weeks I haven't been out of the house much apart from going to the Doctors as I feel so anxious about flaring up in public. I have now been put on a low residue diet which I have only been following for the past week and it has helped a little bit already so I will continue to follow it and will do a blog post in a few weeks to see if it has made any difference.

I am still on Asacol which isn't helping much but my consultant wants me to carry on with them until my next check up which should be soon. Hopefully will get my gastro appointment letter through soon as I just want my symptoms to settle down abit.

Anyone else with IBD reading this been on the same steroids? What is your thoughts on them? Let me know :)

Love Katie x

Girly Week In Essex

 

 

A few weeks back I went to Essex for a week and we had lots of girlie fun. Of course we went to Lakeside for the day and had the best time. Taco Bell feast, Primark spend up and of course Disney Store for the girls which is becoming an tradition for us now haha.

The picture about is of the girls wearing matching from Next and I brought them a few more matching items from Next as they actually do both of their sizes. The Leggings which Bella's were £2.50 and £3.50 for Ava, T Shirts were £6 each or 2 for £10 and Socks for 2 pairs were £3.00 for Bella and £3.50 for Ava. So all in total for two outfits came to £22.50 which I thought was bloody good value as the quality of clothes are amazing and Beth tells me Next clothes washes well. Since then I have been back to Next and got another colour of Leggings and different T shirt which I shall give to the girls Next week and I'm sure they both will look beautiful matching :)  



The two picture above are from when I looked after the girls for the day as Beth had a family funeral so it was Beth's first time without Bella. I might get Beth to write a blog post about it as she was really panicking but I thought she done well :) I still stuck to the girls routine that day i.e. Their lunch & dinner, Bella's nap and their bedtime but I also added in Play dough for Ava till lunch time then colour paper stamps in the afternoon and both of the girls are little angels. 

This picture is us four doing a selfie in a taxi haha. Beth had dentist then we went to Tesco for lunch and Costa then done some shopping and as we brought too much than expected we had to get a taxi home as we had too many bags to carry haha. As you can see the girls know how to pose like their mummy and auntie haha.

I travelled home on the Saturday morning so I had a good whole week spent with these perfect girls and next week I am going back to Essex to spend another week which I am so excited about as I cannot wait to take and pick Ava up from Pre School and watching Bella grow up each day and making me proud. Also love being around Beth as she is a mummy she kind of 'mummys' me if that makes sense without sounding weird haha. She cares and worries about me which just proves how much she loves me which is nice as she is my sister in law also my best friend. Just this weekend to get through then Essex on Monday :)

Love Katie xx

Life/Health/General Update//Katie

For a few weeks now I haven't written an post, turned on my laptop, looked on bloglovin or even logged into blogger. The first week I was preparing for Essex and I had a hospital appointment to do with my Colitis so I didn't have time to use my laptop and then the 2nd week I was in Essex and although there is Wi-Fi there I like to spend family time and make the most of my time there. 3rd week so last week wasn't a good week in terms of my chronic illnesses so I thought I would just start blogging again on a Monday with a fresh mind and hopefully am back on track and into a routine again.


I've been on Steroids for the past two weeks for my Colitis and the side effects are bloody awful. I go back to the Gastro to see if I will carry on with the Steroids or another type of treatment. I will update and speak about this more in another post. Last week I visited the Dietician and gotten loads of information and have totally changed my diet so might do a post about that as its been hard and interesting. I had the best time in Essex the other week and it was so good to just free my mind, clear my mind and come back to Windsor with a fresh mind-set.

When I came back from Essex I felt motivated and although I had a bad train journey home with illnesses but I felt good but then when Sunday came I totally lost that motivation. It was a mixture of depression, anxiety, colitis, Ankylosing spondylitis, family being dicks and general being pissed off so I thought I am not in the right mind frame to blog or basically be human and socialise. Next Monday I am back to Essex for a week again and now that the kids are back to school I am going to let Beth do lots of blogging while I look after Bella for her... I haven't told her this but I'm sure she will be okay with it haha.

So this week I have to get my shit together! I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday, collect my monthly prescription, pack for Essex and try and blog as much as I can. Saying that it all depends on how my Colitis and back are. This post is just to explain where I have been and that I am back with a fresh mind :)

Love Katie

 

Mother & Daughter Treat Day

Last Wednesday myself and my Mother went to Windsor town for the afternoon and it ended up being a lovely day. I woken up and thought to myself "I want a manicure and Shellac" as I was feeling crap, down and not myself so off we went to town .I went to a place called Images which for Windsor it quite reasonable price, the place was big, clean and very friendly. So I picked my colour (RED) and she started doing the manicure and My mother sat behind me waiting and I said get a pedicure done I will treat you and for about 20 minutes she was like no but finally in the end I convinced her that she needed to be pampered. So off she went to sit in the pedicure area and my nails were done soon as Mother started her feet as Shellac don't take long. Mine cost £25 which I thought for a proper manicure and shellac was good price and Mother got the Image Express Pedicure which was £25 and she was there for a good hour so I sat on the leather chairs in the waiting area and I was actually relaxing just sitting there and watching the world go by. The salon played relaxing music, the room was bright white light and the chairs was so comfortable that I could of easily fallen asleep haha.

 This was the manicure area and the chair was so comfy, everything was clean and plenty of magazines to read.

 

I sneakly took a picture of my Mother while she was getting her manicure done haha. It did look so relaxing to be honest but I don't think I would be able to sit there for an hour because of my Back and Colitis. My mother has got awful feet haha but after this treatment her feet were so soft and smooth. Defiantly worth the money.

Sorry for the bad quality of picture but you get the idea. They used OPI Gel Colours and I picked the colour called "BIG RED APPLE" which is exactly what I wanted. I am bit of a Red nail lover and Bright Red by Barry M is the one colour I always wear so I wanted to have a bright red. I've always had natural/nude colours whenever I've had Shellac before so I thought I would go for something different and I love it. For me having this which will last 3weeks or more is ideal. I am forever painting my nails and I swear all my medication has made my nails very dry and bad to the point where none nail polishes was lasting long so a shellac is very ideal for me. I will defiantly go back the place and maybe have another random colour.

 



After the salon we really fancied a coffee so we went to Esquires Coffee Shop which is right in the heart of Windsor town so it was really busy but we got a nice seat and we just sat and chilled for abit before we started shopping. I had a flat white and Mother had a iced coffee and to be honest it was nice!!! Much prefer Costa.

We then done TK MAXX, LUSH, H&M, NEXT and DORATHY PERKINS aka sorry bank balance. 90% of the stuff I brought were for Ava & Bella hahah. I love nothing more than buying for my Nieces to be honest. We got a pizza from Marks & Spencers, got a taxi back and then had a chilled evening. It was just a mother and daughter day and night and it was so nice. For the first time ever we didn't have an argument hahah.

Having two chronic illnesses, depression, anxiety and panic attacks means I don't go out much and also constantly feeling crap so this totally cheered me up. It doesn't cost much to cheer yourself up and treating my mother to a pedicure actually cheered me up as she was happy. I will defiantly try and make this a thing once a month.

Love Katie x

Auntie Buys: Ava's Primark Haul

The other day I was in Primark and picked up a few bits for Ava. I didn't see anything nice for Bella and to be honest I am not a huge fan of Primark for baby clothes/sizes. I don't like buying for one and not the other but I wasn't going to just pick up something for the sake of it. Sizes are hard to tell in Primark even for ladies clothes so its abit of a guess and defiantly depends on the item itself. I got either 3/4 years or 4/5 years old... So here is what I got for my beautiful Niece Ava Lily..

Minions Pink Top/4 to 5 years old - £4
I'm not a huge fan of character tops to be honest but I had to pick this up for Ava as she loves Minions lately and they had other minions tops but this one was the best out of them all.

L O V E WHITE T SHIRT/4 to 5 years - £1.20
I saw that their basic logo t shirts where reduce to £1.20 I had a look and stupidly there was only two in Ava's Size. I loved this one though as it can be worn with a pair of skinny jeans and converses and that an easy outfit to put on.

MINT J'ADORE PARIS DOG T SHIRTS/4 to 5 years old - £1.20
This one is my fave! It looks more green on picture but it's a really nice Mint and I love the French vibe going on. If you ask Beth or my Mother, they would agree when I say I am obsessed with French themed items and even gone far as buying Bella a Eiffel Tower Bodysuit few months ago haha.

TWO BEACH THEMED NIGHTDRESSES/3 to 4 years old - £5

I saw these for £5 for both which I thought was a good price to be honest as they can be quite pricey. The white one has sandcastles shells lollipops dogs beach balls all over it which I thought was cute. The other one is a hot pink colour with a girl holding an kite. Ava wears nightdresses well and prefers them to normal pj's. I got her a Cinderella and a Frozen Elsa one recently and she gets so much wear out of them.

 

DOC MCSTUFFINS KNICKERS/3 to 4 years old - £3.50

Ava has gotten into Doc McStuffins lately which has meant every single Doc McStuffins item I see I have to purchased!! Sorry Beth and Tommy hahah!!! I'm sure Ava doesn't need anymore knickers, infact I know she doesn't as I did purchased her loads over the past month hahaha but still Ava will love these.

 

 

So that is what I got for Ava. As I said before, I think Primark have got abit meh with their kids/babies clothing lately but sometimes they have a few good bits. I did get some stuff for myself which I didn't even think of doing an blog haul so maybe next time I shall do a haul for myself?

 

Love Katie xx 

 

Katie's Health Update #9

So my last health update was only a few a weeks ago here but since then I have a few things to update you all on.

COLITIS
Yesterday I had an appointment at the hospital for a check up and instead of the appointment being under the Gastroenterology clinic, it was under the general surgery clinic which I didn't understand why to be honest and nor did the Doctor. Luckily the doctor I saw is someone I have been under for nearly 3 years now so she knew my history and what was going on. She looked at my report from my last colonoscopy and explained where my Colitis is and told me a lot more than I ever have been told. I explained to her how I don't think Asacol are doing much for me anymore and my flare up is so unbearable at the moment. She wrote me out a prescription for Steroids (not sure what they called) and has put me under the Gastroenterology department and for them to see me urgent/in few weeks time. I took my Mother with me and I am glad to be honest as it is always different from a doctor explaining my condition rather than me. So although my flare up is bad at the moment, my fatigue is horrible, still loosing weight and eyes are being affected but I felt like finally the hospital are doing something about it. 

ARTHRITIS
My Gabapentin medication have been upped to 300mg and the side effects from the 200mg was affecting me a lot so now it is higher the side effects are worse. The side effects are worth it to be honest as the medication itself does help with my back pain. I get  days where my back is in bits and then days where it is manageable with painkillers but never a day where I am not in pain. Over the past few weeks the pain has been going back of bum, legs and near my hips which happens every now and then. When the weather gets cold my Arthritis plays up a lot so although I love the cold weather, I am not looking forward to it.
  
ANXIETY/DEPRESSION/PANIC ATTACKS
My depression hasn't been good to be honest, I've had more down days than up days this month. My GP has upped my Sertraline to 200mg and have referred me to an Psychiatrist. My GP explained that because he has upped my dose of Antidepressants and I haven't heard back from Therapy than he feels that me being seen by an Psychiatrist will be more helpful than waiting for an Therapist appointment. I told him how the more pain I get with both of my illnesses that the more depressed I feel and as I can't control any of my illnesses/they wont get cured that I feel like I need to learn how to control my depression ASAP. As for my Anxiety that is always there in the back on my mind in some way or another. Whether if I am not in an anxious place, I will always feel on edge. I wrote a post HERE about fear and Guilt of an Chronic Illness and in this post I explained what fear I have lately and part of that is feeling anxious. As for my Panic Attacks, I haven't really been in any panicky environment to make me panic lately. I went to Essex at the beginning of August and obviously I've mentioned how I used to have a fear of trains ect and that is where my panic attacks started but I have gotten over the fear but I still do panic as I think it would be totally impossible of me to stop panicking while I am on the tube/train. My Brother picked me up on the way there and on the way back I got the tube and train back and luckily the tube was there quick and so was the train so I didn't have any time to panic.

OTHER
I wrote a post HERE about my Eye dramas over the past few weeks so read that if you want to know what happened. I am still on eye drops and to be honest the eye pain has gone but both of my eyes are still so red. The eye Doctor did explain how he was worried as people with Colitis/Ankylosing Spondylitis do get bad eyes so he did say he was going to send me to an specialist so I guess I shall have to wait for that appointment letter to come through. That's pretty much it for my health this month and I have no more appointments left for this month. In September I have Dietician which is to do with my Colitis as I am struggling with what to eat lately and then I have my Monthly GP app middle of the month.

I shall keep you all posted on how I get on with the Steroids for my Colitis which I haven't got yet as the chemist had to order them in. Also touch wood my eyes start to get better.

Love Katie xx  

Eye Problems//Katie Health

On Thursday night, I started getting pain around my left eye and then looked in the mirror and noticed on the lower eyelid it was very swollen and red looking. I have had this lots of time throughout this year but usually goes in a couple of days so I never been to the doctors about it. I thought lets see how it is in the morning to decide if to go to the doctors or not.



Me in the waiting room at the doctors for the second time this week haha

I woken up on Friday morning practically wanting to rip my eye out with the pain and it was swelled up like I have been punch and very red. I rang my GP at 1.30pm to see if I could get an afternoon appointment as my Mother was out till late afternoon so tried to get latest as possible so she could come with me. The only appointment I could get was 4.40pm with an Doctor I never seen before but I took the appointment and booked a Taxi to get there as by this point I was getting blurry vision. I thought because I've had this before and it's almost gone within few days that it will just be an normal eye infection and the GP would prescribe me eye drops but I couldn't be more further from the truth.
 


Waiting again outside in the rain haha

As soon as I mentioned my Ankylosing Spondylitis and Colitis, the GP instantly rang up the Prince Charles Eye Clinic at King Edward Hospital in Windsor. She done all the normal test and sent me back out in the waiting room while she was waiting to get through to the eye clinic. By this point I thought right okay then it must not be an eye infection but I didn't google before I left home so I didn't have anything in mind of what it could be. The GP called me back and I have to say although I never seen this Doctor before, she was obviously young so a newish doctor but she was so good, understanding and professional. She explained why she wants me to go to Eye Casualty tomorrow morning (Saturday), what to do and where to go if my eye gets worse and she wrote out an letter for me to take with me to the Eye Clinic. She didn't really give me an diagnosis but she did say its defiantly inflamed which is why she is worried. I didn't even know the Eye Clinic opened on a Saturday to be honest and I've been to that hospital most of my life haha.

That night the pain stayed the same but the blurred vision did calm down a lot which I was so relieved as that was what I was worried about the most. As I wear glasses anyways, but it bloody scares me not being able to see as I rely on my glasses so the blurred vision was scaring me a lot. I woken up early went to put make up on as normal then realised that eye make up was a no go so it literally took 5 mins to get ready haha. My mother came with me to the Eye Clinic and I think I was the first person in the waiting room but it soon got busy. I was feeling really nausea and lightheaded then I got the urge to be sick so I ran to the toilets and was sick. It was totally my fault as I taken my morning medication at 7.30am without any food so I fully accept it was my stupid own fault but soon as I was sick I felt better.

An Nurse from Eye Casualty called me in for an eye test so I sat down on the chair and it was very open, there was no curtains and although it was only like 3 nurses and 1 doctor near by, it still made me abit anxious. I read out the numbers as directed and the got sent back into the waiting room for the doctor to call me and luckily the Eye Doctor called me within 5 minutes. The Eye Doctor looked very young, fit and that made me even more anxious haha. He examined my left eye and then my right eye, the he put some sort of yellow dye into the eye which bloody was the weirdest feeling ever. He pretty much diagnosed my left eye as Chalazion which is a cyst like nodule inside the upper or lower eyelid caused by blocked oil glands. He wrote out an prescription for a steroid type eye ointment and the he began to get some more dye and I was abit confused as he just told me what was wrong.

The Eye Doctor explained to me because of my Ankylosing Spondylitis and Colitis eye problems are very common and he can see more inflammation in both of the eyes so wants to just put another type of dye in to see more so he put the dye in and said he is going to refer me to an specialist that can have a proper look. He said my right eye looks like it is in the early stages of a Chalazion so to apply the eye ointment in the right eye when it starts to cause pain. He also told me to do hot compresses on both eyes which is basically just get an clean hot flannel and firmly press on the eyes for 5 minutes and for about 3/4 times a day so I have been doing that which does help the pain.




My left eye and obviously another foot selfie in the casualty

I have applied the eye ointment and then few hours later while cleansing by face, I noticed my right eye is extremely swollen, red and very tender so I have applied the ointment in hope it clears that up aswel. If I said I wasn't worried the I would be lying but to me anything to do with my eyes is a big no no. I rely on my glasses, I get up and first thing I do is put my glasses on and they are basically my security blanket so if anything was seriously wrong with my eyes I would be a bloody mess. I always knew what Colitis and Ankylosing Spondylitis can do as I have obviously fully researched a lot but I guess you just never think it will happen.

So now I'm on the steroid ointment for 7 days and will do the hot compresses each day from now on and then await for eye specialised which I have no idea when that would be.

Has anyone else got Ankylosing Spondylitis and Colitis and got eye problems? Let me know :)

Love Katie x