My Cleaning Tricks

So In order to still do the general housework I have made some changes and little tricks that help me. Now I know some might sound stupid and might not work for others but they do make having chronic health & OCD a lot better to deal with ... 

Hoover - I have three hoovers which are kept in different places which make it easier than having to carry one up and down the stairs. So I have one upstairs, one downstairs and one just for the kitchen. I keep them near the plug socket so easier to turn on and use whenever I can. 

Cleaning Items - I have a cleaning caddy in the bathroom for all the products I use upstairs and then I have products in kitchen under sink for all the products to use downstairs. I have a cupboard in the hallway which has back ups of products making sure I never run out which I get my Stepdad to reach and take out when I need to. I also have some products in my bedroom for easy access. Ideally I hate products on show but sometimes I have to think practical. 

Long Handled Dustpan/Brush - I have one in my bedroom as I have wood floor and one downstairs for the kitchen, utility and downstairs toilet. Long handled makes it easier to use few times a day without bending down or picking rubbish up ect. I have 3 dogs which mean dogs hairs and wood floor so having the dustpan and brush in reach means I can use it every time I’m in/out of the rooms.

Using Time Effectually - this might sound stupid haha so what I mean is that when I have a flare up with my bowel disease I will also clean the bathroom. It makes sense to do it as I’m stuck in the bathroom anyways. I will fold up washing while sitting on sofa, I will prepare dinner while sitting down and I will even sit on the floor to clean floors/polish, clean the bath/shower while I’m in there ect. It helps a lot to be honest as I find I get more done that way. If I had to wait to not be in pain to do these things then they would never get done. 

Ikea Bags - Totally Random but the blue Ikea bag are literally a lifesaver because of its long Handles and it’s a big bag. I use this to carry dirty washing downstairs and I will also fold up the clean washing put in the bag to carry upstairs. It makes it so much easier. 

Micro Fibre Cloths - I always keep one in reach so that if I’m walking downstairs or round the house I can easily grab it and polish ect. 

Clean At The Right Time - what I mean by this is I try to stick to the same time cleaning which is about 10 mins after I’ve taken my painkillers. I find if I wait anymore then the side effects have kicked in too far. 

Deep Freeze/Deep Heat Is My BFF - I have the roll on ones that literally are so easy to apply and I have one of each downstairs and upstairs which I put on as I’m about to clean. Okay it doesn’t get rid of the pain but it makes cleaning more bearable. 

Late Night No Sleep = Clean - I have nights where I don’t sleep til late because of pain so I use this time to sort my wardrobe out, sort storage out and do little bits in my room. 

I’m pretty sure there’s more than I do without realising but these are the main ones. To someone who isn’t ill I totally understand how stupid it might sound haha!! But you got to do what you got to do. Without doing any of these tricks I simply don’t get anything done. I have 3 dogs so I have to hoover lots and ideally I’d like hoover few times a day but I aim to hoover at least once a day which I find it easier to keep up with housework if I do it for like 20 mins a day rather than spending hours few times a week. Luckily I have a dishwasher but I wash up the dogs Bowls soon as they finished their dinner and I find doing it ASAP means it’s all done and dusted. Now I don’t really like antibacterial wipes well I do but I find it much easier to use a micro fibre cloth and antibacterial spray which probably doesn’t make sense and I’m sure wipes are more easier but my hands are quite sensitive and I was finding wipes irritate them more plus I seem to go through so much wipes so I prefer to use a few cloths instead. I don’t fill my cleaning cupboard up under the sink purely because it’s much easier to only have the products I currently using so I can just grab them easily. 

Obviously with me living at home with my mother means there are some things I’d love to do differently or change. I try much as possible to make the plan more organise, clean and tidy but it’s not as easy when people I live with are not like me lol!! Il spend ages cleaning and then I look and someone’s make it messy.. it’s rather frustrating because obviously I’ve made myself in pain in order to clean properly so it’s bloody annoying. I know if I lived alone I’d have things my way which would make things slightly easier for my health but for now with the small changes/tricks I use are working and helping. I truly believe that a “Tidy House Tidy Mind” and I feel so much better mentally when I’m doing cleaning even if my body is in agony.  My next post will be about what products I use. I tend to stick with the same products that I know work as I haven’t got time to be using rubbish products. So make sure you pop back soon to find out my top products. 

Love Katie xx 

Chronic Health & OCD

So I’ve been wanting to do a blog series for ages now about cleaning while having chronic health. I also have OCD which had way before becoming ill so it was a huge shock for me when I started to notice how certain housework/chores became rather difficult and sometimes impossible. 

I love cleaning. I always have and to be I use it as my therapy. Some people go retail therapy or cooking or exercise but for me it’s always been cleaning,tidying, clearing and being organised. I love seeing the before and after of how simply changes can make a massive difference. And storage!!! Storage is my best friend andI HATE having items in my draws without being in some sort of box or draw divider. Every month I always sort through each of my chest of draws, clean them and make sure to either chuck or Charity shop stuff I no longer have use for.

Safe to say I love clearing, cleaning and organisation but it’s rather hard when you have a disability. I’m lucky that I’m still able to do most housework and I have ways of making sure I can still manage them but having OCD thrown in the mix makes things so frustrating. My mind is telling me I have to clean or do something but my body is refusing and physically can’t. My illnesses has already taken so much away from me and has dramatically changed my life but I will not let it stop me from doing the normal day to day chores. I’ve made some changes and adapted which I think I have the right balance at the moment in order for me to be in less pain as possible while continuing to do the general housework. Obviously even with the changes I’ve made I still have days where the pain is too bad to do anything.  I thought I’d share some simple changes and tricks/tips on how I still do the normal chores with a disability. And how I try and control my OCD while having a bad pain day. I now do things differently which to some people might sound stupid but in order to still keep on top of the house I don’t care if I look or sound stupid. Not only is cleaning obviously good and I 100% go by the saying “ tiny house tiny mind” but I use it as a distraction and almost as a escape from the agonising pain I’m in 24/7. 

My next blog post shall be the simple changes I’ve made and the silly ways on how I still manage to cook/clean/tidy and organise with chronic health. I write all my blogpost via my phone as I don’t have my laptop as I hardly used it so if the layout, pictures or words are not up to scratch then I do apologise. I’m going to try and do at least one blogpost per week which I think is doable otherwise if I give myself a few a week I know it’s not possible. I do miss blogging and I think it must be at least two years since myself or Beth blogged properly but so much has happened to us both since we last blogged so our posts might be slightly different. I just thought I’d do a quick post to explain on why there will be regular posts coming soon and what they’re about ect. 

Next blog post shall be in a few days :) 

( I have about 10 posts half written that because of brain fog never get finished) haha..  I have been using the blog Instagram since last September now & do regular posts and I’m slightly addicted to doing daily stories haha.. so please do follow us on Instagram on “Essextowindsor”

Love Katie xx 

Change Is Okay

Hello Everyone.. I honesty cannot remember the last time I done a health update or any update to be honest. Life has just got in the way for the last year or so and we have sort of abandoned the blog. I'm speaking for myself but I think Beth would agree when I say that we both are different people since we last blogged. Both older and are in a different place from few years back. Pain and illnesses has 100% changed me and weirdly for the best, I am more understanding, more patience and in all a much better person. Obviously I cannot speak for Beth but she's now a married lady with two kids and now they live in their own apartment so I think she's changed also but in a good way. If Beth is reading this I hope I don't offend you haha.

Photo by Pinterest 

What I'm trying to say is that change is a good thing. It's scary yes but it has to happen as we grow up. Since being a Auntie I have become less selfish and more caring. I'm sure as the months go by that I shall change more.. and I'm okay with it. Few years back I would of been scared.. scared of changing me as a person and scared of changing into someone I don't like. 

Years ago I wouldn't of thought I'd be where I am today. Living with Mother at 25 years old and unable to work... it's something I never planned in my head. But I cannot change being ill and I have to deal with that. I always think that I'm lucky in a way.. lucky because I am able to live at home with my mother who is my best friend. Some people don't have that choice or their mother isn't around anymore so I have to think myself lucky there. Of course I'd love to be living in my own place with my own family.. I crave it so much that it's constantly in my head. I have to deal with the fact that I cannot change my situation or health right now so I have to embrace and think myself lucky as I'm sure it could be worse. 

I'm not real sure what this blogpost is about.. and you can probably tell that I'm dosed to the max on painkillers but I just wanted to say that change is totally normal and okay. If you're in the position to change your life then totally embrace that face but for myself and other people who are unable to change life then just know that it's okay..the quicker we accept that we're unable to do certain things and stop beating yourself up about it.. then the better you will feel. I'm sure myself and Beth will have proper blogpost coming soon.. and I promise to try and not be dosed up on painkillers next time!! 

Love Katie xx

Toilet Thoughts

Hello readers.. 

I'm currently writing this as I'm sat on the toilet and I'm sure most people wouldn't want to know that but in reality this is my life. I have Ulcerative Colitis which if you have been following our blog since we started then you would know. If you haven't read our blog and don't know or heard of Ulcerative Colitis is then it's an Irritable Bowel Disease (NOT IBS) and this horrible disease means I attend the toilet basically 95% of the day. I get very sore joints because of this and also terrible fatigue so you can imagine sitting on the toilet isn't enjoyable.

I wanted to write this post because I swear some people think that I'm even making it up or that I enjoy suffering from Colitis! It's exhausted, painful & frustrating. I never have a proper goodnight sleep because for some reason my Bowel is more awake at night time. I never get to watch full programme as run back and forward to the bathroom. It's not fun or enjoyable having to sit on the toilet and for normal people when they go for a toilet they are not in pain but I am in pain. Everyone I open my bowel it is absolutely agony and I cry because of the pain. 

I sit on the toilet and watch people snapchats or insta stories and see people out having fun or not having to worry about to what to eat and it's hard to watch.. and I do feel about jealous of them. Then I go on Facebook and read people statues about their fun evenings and it makes me sad and angry. I look back and miss the old me. The old me who used to spend my evenings going out, drinking, eating whatever I wanted, was abled to have a goodnight sleep and literally having no care in the world. 

So when people say that I have an easy life being housebound, stuck on the toilet in pain and never having a goodnight sleep.... "easy" isn't the word I'd call it. I didn't choose to have this disease and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I'd absolutely chose to be working, doing normal adult things and not having to be in pain over this any day!! It's hard to be positive when I'm stuck on the toilet, it's hard to be happy and not dwell on the past. But this IS my life and all I wish is for my health to be better and to gain my life back again. So yeah this isn't enjoying or fun and if anyone says it is then come and be in my shoes for a day and you'll soon realise how "fun" this really is!!! 

Love Katie xx

CCUK/Endoscopy Tour

Sooooo this is the first blog post I have done in a very very long time!! What better way to start blogging again by writing about something close to my heart..

On Sunday I went to my first ever Crohns and Colitis Meet up at the Endoscopy Clinic At Royal Berkshire Hospital in Reading and it was literally so amazing to meet and talk to people who suffer with IBD. This was my first meet at all so I was nervous abit and to make things worse Im flaring at the moment. This was rather different from a general "meet" as it was a chance for Friends and family of members of Crohns and Colitis Berkshire to see behind the scene and learn more about what us IBD sufferers have to deal with when we enter in Endoscopy area. I brought my Mother and Stepdad with me as I thought it would be a good idea to get them involved more and in hope that they can try to understand what I go through. I am glad I took them as they are two of my closest people in my life and I would love it if my closest ones understood and knew more about IBD from the endoscopy consultant.  

So we got there about 10am ish and we sat down with a cuppa in the reception area of the Endoscopy unit. Well I say sit down but what I really meant is that I ran straight to the toilet because Colitis doesn't like to behave well at the moment lol. We all had a cuppa and biscuits and had a chat/got to know each other for about 10 minutes or so. Then Professor Jon Simmons started the tour of the endoscopy clinic and literally I was so interested and amazed. He explained what happens from the minute you step into the reception to the minute you leave. He started by showing us the waiting areas which is separate for male and females, once you are undress you put all your clothing and items in a big "shopping basket"...you know like the baskets on wheels they have at some shops, well it was exactly the same as that which they take it with you all the way to recovery. Also in that area he shown us where you have the enema which is in a room attached to a toilet. Then onto the exciting area!!!! The Endoscopy operation rooms. Jon shown us everything from the equipment, the biopsy equipment, all the machines, the gas and air ect and he also explained all the different type of sedation which was very interesting. We asked him some questions then he switch on the machine and we all had a hold of the endoscope itself, took biopsy (with paper) and we was all in amazed haha. Then off we went to the recovery area which was male and female separate and explained how it works ect. Now this part was the best...the cleaning room!! So once the endoscopy is finished the nurse will take the dirty endoscope plus all the equipment to the cleaning room which was literally so interesting. On one side was full on sinks where they clean the equipment first then on the other side was the big machine which looked like massive washing machines haha... they put the equipment in these machine which is disinfected. Once the cleaning progress is all finished its comes out in a separate room so basically the dirty ones NEVER mix with the cleans ones. Then we went to see all the other operations rooms which one had a X-ray in and lastly we went to the room where you go and sit down once you have recovered from the sedation and all your obs are fine. That room is full of comfy sofas, a area for hot drinks and toaster and a little room joined to it which is for when they have the report of the endoscopy and the nurse goes through any questions you have ect and then you wait til you are picked up or drive home if you just have gas and air. 

We stayed in that room for ages asking Professor Jon Simmons lots of questions, we had lots of debates about the NHS and a general chat about life with IBD.  We was there for a good few hours and even my Mother and Stepdad learnt so much and got stuck in with asking questions. I literally felt alot better after talking to people who suffer the same as me as I finally was talking to people who know exactly how I feel. To be honest I was more happy that my Mother and Stepdad came and joined in because they obviously do not have IBD so its hard for them to understand me at times and sometimes they both have been judgmental in the past which I don't blame them for because unless you have IBD, its really difficult to understand. As I said at the start of this post that this was my first ever meet up to do with Crohns and Colitis so I was very scared but after it finished I felt more confident and excited to attend other meet ups. 

I learnt ALOT and feel alot less nervous now for when I have another Colonoscopy/Sigmoidoscopy. I am not under Reading Hospital so it was all new to me but after speaking to the Jon Simmons its made me ever more sure to be referred there. I am currently under Wexham Park hospital and ever since I was diagnosed in 2015 I have never had any progress with symptoms and they still won't try me on any other medication. So I think its about time to get referred to a new IBD specialist with a good IBD nurse support team and in hope they start me on new treatment and finger crossed I start to feel better. 

Thank you to anyone who has stayed this far and read this haha. Myself and Beth haven't been blogging properly for ages. Life got in the way and we put this blog in the back of our mind. We literally loved writing and reading other blogs and we both said its a form of therapy for us so we promise to try and get this blog back to how it was. 

Love Katie 
xx  

Feeling alone By Katie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeling alone

 

 

At the weekend my health messed up a family fun day Saturday which made me rather sad and couldn't help but feel alone! 

When you have chronic illness you feel so alone. When I say alone I mean because I have no one in my family that suffers with a chronic illness similar to mine so it's genuinely hard to talk out loud about my health as they do not understand. Alone because most family birthdays meals I cannot attend because I'm either in a bad flare or can't eat anything on the menu so I'm left at home alone and I end up feeling so isolated. The one thing that really upsets me about missing family occasions is when I get certain family members saying that I'm choosing to not go out and that I don't want to socialise which couldn't be further from the truth. Of course I want to go out, attend all family meals or events and socialise but I've realised that you HAVE to put yourself and your health first. I've spent many times sitting in a restaurant putting on a totally different mask and acting fine when in reality I'm sitting there with stomach cramps, my joints are in crippling pain and my eyes are wanting to close from severe fatigue. The smile I put on in those situations is totally fake. How can I smile when I'm in so much pain. Sometimes putting on an mask and a fake smile doesn't  work in my favour! Unfortunately It makes some of my family members think that I am absolutely fine and that I am lying about being ill. It leaves me thinking what is the lesser of two evils? Grinning and bearing the family meal in crippling pain or putting myself first and not going and facing the criticism of some not so understanding family members.

 

The weekend just gone, I planned to go to Battersea Old Windsor Fun day on the Saturday with Beth, my nieces and my brother, we planned this ages ago and we was all looking forward to it. The evening before I got ready to have an early night then all of a sudden my colitis really flared up big time to the point where I was on the toilet from 10pm until 7.40am so I was incredibly exhausted from just running back and forward to the bathroom. At 8am I thought lets get an hours sleep so I can have some energy for the day out but soon as I closed my eyes, my bowel had other ideas meaning I had no other choice than to cancel the plans and stay in bed instead. I was so exhausted and the toilet trips continued till Saturday evening and I was home alone so I felt even worse and more alone. 

Luckily I have my three dogs who drive me mental but they follow me to the toilet, cuddle me on the sofa, always by my side in bed and make me laugh. I am so glad that I live with my Mother, something I thought at 24 years old that I wouldn't say but honestly I couldn't be without her. 

I really hope that my health starts to improve as I hate missing out on all these family events, I will be sure to keep you all update on my health and my story.

until next time

Katie x

Katies Come back ....Sort of

Oh god!! I have no idea where to even start!! I haven't written a blog post since late last year due to health problems and I have totally lost the blogging vibe.

I used to love sitting down either on the sofa or in bed writing about my health and lifestyle which also helped with my Depression and Anxiety because just to write and express what is on your mind feels so bloody good. So when I had to stop blogging it wasn't a nice feeling. I didn't bother on our Instagram or twitter, I just abandoned the blog and the whole social media side of things. At the time Beth was moving down nearer to me so I was just happy at the fact that I am able to see my Nieces whenever. Then there is the illnesses!! 

As you all know I have Ankylosing Spondylitis and Ulcerative Colitis which I have done many, many posts about and looking back I was somehow "managing" with my symptoms and side effects from medication. With the help of mediation and LOTS OF PAINRELIEF and hot water bottles, I could sit down and happily open the laptop but now things are abit different to say the least.

Since late last year, I have NOT been "managing" and life has became very different. If I could only use one word to describe it would be "Exhaustion". Exhaustion from every little task I do, Exhaustion from stupid simple things such as shower, wash my hair and even washing my face and also from taking the stupid amount of medication I have to take and just Exhaustion of being awake. End of last year I started getting pain in my thighs then my hips then my hands and now my knees. My mobility is poor and there are times where getting out of bed is impossible. Well I say "times" but I mean mostly every day. I struggle to sleep, I get numbness and tingling in most joints, my thighs feel swollen and throb with pain and now my knees which is the newest of symptoms. I wake up and from head to toe I am stiff. Having to rely on Morphine based patches to basically live is so depressing and yet I STILL get pathetic comments from certain people. I have had physio which made zero difference I mean  does it ever work? Especially with such conditions as I have, its going to take more than a few leg stretches to cure. So now I await to hear from various of specialist. The main condition this is all being linked to which I am being tested for is Fibromyalgia. Of course I have done lots of googling (who doesn't) and have read up on this condition among other conditions. From reading I have learnt that is it hard to actually be diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and have had few people tell me they was being tested for a year just to get the diagnoses so that bit scares me. I don't want it being dragged out that long, I just want to get sorted and start feeling better, I'm so exhausted from medical tests and hospitals.  

There is so much I want to write about but I can't get most out. That is down to Brain Fog, I will at some point do a post about this as it is totally life changing. My mind is mushed! and also down to the silly side effects of my medication. I will get Beth to proof read this because I struggle to make sense sometimes. I have given Bethany my laptop as it was no use to me anymore so at least she is getting use out of it but I plan to write posts on my iPhone on the blogger app or on my notes and then sending them to Beth as she is a lot more clever than me and will pick out all the spelling mistakes and the sentences that don't make any sense haha. Bethany sort of runs the blog by herself for the moment and also she runs the twitter, I run the Instagram for the blog as it still gives me a little input into the blog without it effecting my health. I have set up an new Twitter for myself so follow it if you want to hear me moaning about life or hospitals haha my twitter is @KatieAmyPricex but you can still reach me on the blog Twitter @Essextowindsor were I pop up from time to time, and Beth lets me know when there are messages for me.

I have enjoyed writing this actually but my legs are in pain, my patch is due for a change 30 mins ago haha. I am currently at Bethany's while she is at Sally's hair supplies getting some new scissors so one is on the laptop on the sofa while Bella has her nap and Ava is watching YouTube on the TV haha. I might try and get another post written if my body lets me. Thank you for anyone who has read this... and got to the end of this post and apologises if I don't makes sense!! Hope to see you all soon :)


Love Katie :)

Loosing Weight From Colitis

When I got diagnosed with Colitis, I wasn't even aware or thinking of what it would do to me physically and mentally. I never would of though the reason of me loosing two stone since May is because of my Colitis. I haven't been on any crazy diet or an major exercise routine, I simply have been having alot of trouble with what I can/can't eat. I have been struggling ALOT and I'm awaiting an appointment with a Dietitian as it has got to the point where I am constantly in pain/cramps. It is making me housebound and my anxiety is sky high when I'm out, which lately is becoming a rare occasion. I never ever realized what Colitis would do to be to be honest. I've had IBS since I was 14, so I have always known what a bowel disease is and obviously had similar symptoms with IBS but I wasn't expecting Colitis to make more of a impact to my life than my back condition does. 


So two stone is how much I have lost and its made alot of difference in my appearance which other people notice more than I do. I was never massive but I've always been "curvy" so it isn't like a massive deal but that two stone has made me drop a dress size but because my boobs have kept the same size, tops are still tight around my chest. FINALLY I am in size 14 jeans,for me this is literally amazing, I haven't been able to get into proper jeans since I was 17 because my belly bloats alot so I always have worn jegging type jeans/trousers which don't have a zip/buttons but I actually brought two proper jeans in the past few months from TK MAXX. Even though I cannot wear for a long time because of my bloating and cramps but it does make me feel so much better knowing I can wear jeans for once. Clothes are getting baggy and loose but luckily I like that loose fit tops with a skinny jeans look so I can still wear my tops. Usually loosing two stone to anyone is amazing but I don't know why but I'm not getting excited about it? Because I have lost it quickly down to an Illness it doesn't have them same feeling to if you lost it by exercise ect. The fatigue, lost of appetite, abdominal pains, cramping, bloating and bleeding are a daily symptom from this horrible Colitis and maybe that why I am not happy with loosing weight. I'm getting the comments like "I wish I could loose weight like you", "I wish I had Colitis" ect and those comments are really getting to me. This hasn't been my choice and when people say "Oh I Wish I could have Colitis", I just want to tell them how much it impacts on my life. How can anyone "wish" to have an chronic illnesses just because they want to loose abit of weight? Arghhh some people just haven't got a brain have they!! I have recently brought tops that I would never be brave enough to wear and I suppose the only good to come from this weight lost is that it has made me abit more confidence in my appearance. I have never ever been confident, happy with the way I look or been interested in fashion as I used to just wear clothes to hide my body. I have always worn the skinny jeans with a looser top as I think that suits my body shape the best but having larger boobs makes finding the right top hard. I have found some lovely tops from TK MAXX and H&M lately and even though I have only brought a few, it's making me want to buy more as I kind of feel okay about my body for once. Of course I would love to loose more as I am only human to want to loose more weight like most of us do? But right now I am concentrating on getting my Colitis under control. 


I am due to do an health update post as my last one is nearly a month ago here. Next Month (August) I have got a few appointments so I think I might wait til then to do my health update. I will do some more post relating to my Colitis as it has effected alot of day to day stuff ect. Hope you all are well :) 


Love Katie xx 

Life Lately/Birthday/Health

       

Life has been bloody crazy lately, it was my birthday on 30th April then that weekend I went to Essex and that was a perfect weekend. I had mixed emotions on my birthday to the point where I decided to not go for a meal like I've always done and seeing as I didn't have my brother, sister in law and nieces around I thought there is no need to celebrate, in fact my Colitis was bad that day so wasn't a good day anyways. 

Previous to my birthday, Beth has been telling me she got me a birthday surprise and me being not one to have surprises or anyone make much effort on my birthday I honestly didn't have a clue. I don't like attention and I'd much prefer letting someone else take main stage. I love nothing better than buying gifts for people and making them happy but when people do that for me I have no idea how to react because it leaves me speechless as I'm not used to it. So when I arrived to Essex it was mid afternoon and rather hectic with Ava, Bella & including their two cousins so Beth decided to give my pressies, card and surprise once girls gone to bed and tommy was home. 

This amazing homemade cake was my surprise. Beth knows I didn't get a cake for my birthday and I haven't for ages and I can't remember the last time I blew out candles so I was literally so shocked and happy. I wished she took a picture of my face because I didn't know what to say. No one has ever made effort like this for me and Beth even made my perfect cake. I also got two very lovely personalisd cards which I love, A lovely photo album which was full of pictures of my Nieces and a Soap & Gloary Birthsy Set. I was so shocked, overwhelmed and happy, all my gifts had so much thought behind them. The Photo Album with pictures of my Nieces and some of Beth and Tommy literally made me so emotional as we don't like close and I miss them all very much so this gift was the best ever because I now have a photo album to look at when I'm feeling sad and also Beth left empty bits so I can fill up so I can have pictures of the girls as the grow up through out the year. I blew my candles out and wished for a pain free sleep hahah.. That's how you know you have chronic illnesses. 

My health has been abit all over the place. So my back been the same and I'm on new medication called Gabapentin  and so far they seem to be working. Along with Co-Codamol, Tramadol and Gel applied through the day to my back. My Colitis hasn't been good to be honest, I saw a totally different consultant who decided to discharge me totally. I was so pissed off because I've always seen the same person but this one didn't have a bloody clue. I went to my GP and he rang the department up at the hospital and has wrote a letter. My GP was very angry aswel and couldn't understand why that person discharge me when I'm still at early stages and on period trial with Asacol. The Asacol seems to work but I've been so bloated and had other symptoms which I won't go into as TMI but it's not good at the mo. 

Moving on to other health stuff, so my depression! My antibiotics have been up to 150MG and they seem to be working and when I'm good I'm very good but  but when I'm down I'm extremely low. I hope it starts to settle down soon. Other random stuff... I've got an ultra sound in few weeks as there was an Ovarian Cyst found on my right ovary which was picked up on an MRI scan I had nearly a year ago and I only just got told!! I've suffered with ovary/womb/women issues for years and yeas so touch wood the cyst has cleared up by itself. 

How beautiful is Bella Mai who I can't believe is 5 months old in few days. I didn't realise until I had Nieces how quickly they grow up and time flies. I'm back to Essex next Thursday as it is Beths sister wedding next Saturday. We are having a spray tan on Thursday, getting our nails done at Lakeside on Friday and all dressed up for the wedding on Saturday. Obviously Beth is bridesmaid and she is wearing an beautiful dress, il see if she can do a blog post on it because it's really a lovely dress for weddings/events ect. As for myself I brought a dress from a Brand called AX Paris, they are in new look, very and Asos and are very sort of bodycom Going out dresses. I found a Navy midi dress which I fallen in love with and it took me 6 months to find out. I'm not overly confident, I don't like short dresses, I hate my arms, I hate my belly and don't like much colours on me so this was a challenge but this one ticked all the boxes. I shall do a blog post as its made someone very shy not confident low self eastern to feeling amazing, confident and happy just by this one dress. Plus it was a good price so I shall do a post next week. 

I still haven't got my laptop fixed so it is hard to do blog posts. I use the blogger app on my phone but I loose interest and it annoys me when it crashes sometimes and don't save the post arghhh! I can use the computer downstairs in the office but it's not the most fastest of comps so I only use that once a week or so. That's all been happening, I say all but I feel boldly exhusated and drained this week. I've had at least one medical appointment a week, it's so many family birthdays in May so I've been having to go into town to get cards, gifts and send them ect. I've been on the spring cleaning around the house and clearing out stuff. I've de clutter and helped mum sort her office and bedroom as she isn't the most organised of people so I helped her as my OCD/organised/tidy person kicked in haha!!! 

Hope you all are having a good May even though I feel like it has flown past. It was my dads 50th birthday yesterday and my brother birthday on Sunday so it's birthdays. The weather seems to be getting nicer but I'm a winter girl. Give me rain, blanket, cuppa tea, on the sofa over the sun any day! 

Love Katie x