Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

CCUK/Endoscopy Tour

Sooooo this is the first blog post I have done in a very very long time!! What better way to start blogging again by writing about something close to my heart..



On Sunday I went to my first ever Crohns and Colitis Meet up at the Endoscopy Clinic At Royal Berkshire Hospital in Reading and it was literally so amazing to meet and talk to people who suffer with IBD. This was my first meet at all so I was nervous abit and to make things worse Im flaring at the moment. This was rather different from a general "meet" as it was a chance for Friends and family of members of Crohns and Colitis Berkshire to see behind the scene and learn more about what us IBD sufferers have to deal with when we enter in Endoscopy area. I brought my Mother and Stepdad with me as I thought it would be a good idea to get them involved more and in hope that they can try to understand what I go through. I am glad I took them as they are two of my closest people in my life and I would love it if my closest ones understood and knew more about IBD from the endoscopy consultant.  

So we got there about 10am ish and we sat down with a cuppa in the reception area of the Endoscopy unit. Well I say sit down but what I really meant is that I ran straight to the toilet because Colitis doesn't like to behave well at the moment lol. We all had a cuppa and biscuits and had a chat/got to know each other for about 10 minutes or so. Then Professor Jon Simmons started the tour of the endoscopy clinic and literally I was so interested and amazed. He explained what happens from the minute you step into the reception to the minute you leave. He started by showing us the waiting areas which is separate for male and females, once you are undress you put all your clothing and items in a big "shopping basket"...you know like the baskets on wheels they have at some shops, well it was exactly the same as that which they take it with you all the way to recovery. Also in that area he shown us where you have the enema which is in a room attached to a toilet. Then onto the exciting area!!!! The Endoscopy operation rooms. Jon shown us everything from the equipment, the biopsy equipment, all the machines, the gas and air ect and he also explained all the different type of sedation which was very interesting. We asked him some questions then he switch on the machine and we all had a hold of the endoscope itself, took biopsy (with paper) and we was all in amazed haha. Then off we went to the recovery area which was male and female separate and explained how it works ect. Now this part was the best...the cleaning room!! So once the endoscopy is finished the nurse will take the dirty endoscope plus all the equipment to the cleaning room which was literally so interesting. On one side was full on sinks where they clean the equipment first then on the other side was the big machine which looked like massive washing machines haha... they put the equipment in these machine which is disinfected. Once the cleaning progress is all finished its comes out in a separate room so basically the dirty ones NEVER mix with the cleans ones. Then we went to see all the other operations rooms which one had a X-ray in and lastly we went to the room where you go and sit down once you have recovered from the sedation and all your obs are fine. That room is full of comfy sofas, a area for hot drinks and toaster and a little room joined to it which is for when they have the report of the endoscopy and the nurse goes through any questions you have ect and then you wait til you are picked up or drive home if you just have gas and air. 

We stayed in that room for ages asking Professor Jon Simmons lots of questions, we had lots of debates about the NHS and a general chat about life with IBD.  We was there for a good few hours and even my Mother and Stepdad learnt so much and got stuck in with asking questions. I literally felt alot better after talking to people who suffer the same as me as I finally was talking to people who know exactly how I feel. To be honest I was more happy that my Mother and Stepdad came and joined in because they obviously do not have IBD so its hard for them to understand me at times and sometimes they both have been judgmental in the past which I don't blame them for because unless you have IBD, its really difficult to understand. As I said at the start of this post that this was my first ever meet up to do with Crohns and Colitis so I was very scared but after it finished I felt more confident and excited to attend other meet ups. 

I learnt ALOT and feel alot less nervous now for when I have another Colonoscopy/Sigmoidoscopy. I am not under Reading Hospital so it was all new to me but after speaking to the Jon Simmons its made me ever more sure to be referred there. I am currently under Wexham Park hospital and ever since I was diagnosed in 2015 I have never had any progress with symptoms and they still won't try me on any other medication. So I think its about time to get referred to a new IBD specialist with a good IBD nurse support team and in hope they start me on new treatment and finger crossed I start to feel better. 



Thank you to anyone who has stayed this far and read this haha. Myself and Beth haven't been blogging properly for ages. Life got in the way and we put this blog in the back of our mind. We literally loved writing and reading other blogs and we both said its a form of therapy for us so we promise to try and get this blog back to how it was. 

Love Katie 
xx  

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Feeling alone By Katie

 
 
 
 
 
 

Feeling alone

 
 


At the weekend my health messed up a family fun day Saturday which made me rather sad and couldn't help but feel alone! 

When you have chronic illness you feel so alone. When I say alone I mean because I have no one in my family that suffers with a chronic illness similar to mine so it's genuinely hard to talk out loud about my health as they do not understand. Alone because most family birthdays meals I cannot attend because I'm either in a bad flare or can't eat anything on the menu so I'm left at home alone and I end up feeling so isolated. The one thing that really upsets me about missing family occasions is when I get certain family members saying that I'm choosing to not go out and that I don't want to socialise which couldn't be further from the truth. Of course I want to go out, attend all family meals or events and socialise but I've realised that you HAVE to put yourself and your health first. I've spent many times sitting in a restaurant putting on a totally different mask and acting fine when in reality I'm sitting there with stomach cramps, my joints are in crippling pain and my eyes are wanting to close from severe fatigue. The smile I put on in those situations is totally fake. How can I smile when I'm in so much pain. Sometimes putting on an mask and a fake smile doesn't  work in my favour! Unfortunately It makes some of my family members think that I am absolutely fine and that I am lying about being ill. It leaves me thinking what is the lesser of two evils? Grinning and bearing the family meal in crippling pain or putting myself first and not going and facing the criticism of some not so understanding family members.

 
The weekend just gone, I planned to go to Battersea Old Windsor Fun day on the Saturday with Beth, my nieces and my brother, we planned this ages ago and we was all looking forward to it. The evening before I got ready to have an early night then all of a sudden my colitis really flared up big time to the point where I was on the toilet from 10pm until 7.40am so I was incredibly exhausted from just running back and forward to the bathroom. At 8am I thought lets get an hours sleep so I can have some energy for the day out but soon as I closed my eyes, my bowel had other ideas meaning I had no other choice than to cancel the plans and stay in bed instead. I was so exhausted and the toilet trips continued till Saturday evening and I was home alone so I felt even worse and more alone. 

Luckily I have my three dogs who drive me mental but they follow me to the toilet, cuddle me on the sofa, always by my side in bed and make me laugh. I am so glad that I live with my Mother, something I thought at 24 years old that I wouldn't say but honestly I couldn't be without her. 

I really hope that my health starts to improve as I hate missing out on all these family events, I will be sure to keep you all update on my health and my story.

until next time

Katie x

Monday, 16 May 2016

Where Have We Been?!?

 

What Happened To Us?

 
I suppose you can say us and our blog dropped off the radar. You would be right. We stopped blogging suddenly with no warnings, not even to ourselves. I know what many people will be thinking, what makes two young girls who are seemingly very happy just stop? If we were from the outside reading our blogs we would be thinking the same. But from personal experience we can both say there can be many reasons, some being life events that you just can't see coming. The reasons to our disappearing act will be explained in depth in future posts. But we can now give you some sort of understanding.  
 
 

Katie

 

 

As you would have knew before we stopped blogging Katie had a number of health problems, a couple being ulcerative colitis and Ankylosing spondylitis. In the past few months Katie's condition has not started to improve she has got a little worse. Katie has been on different painkillers for her increasing pain, she is trying to find the right pain relief to get to her pain. She is also having flare ups very often now. Near enough every night. Safe to say she doesn't get much sleep. The side effects from medication, her illnesses and her lack of sleep have made her have severe fatigue. This leaves her felling pretty poo! she cant pluck up the energy to sit and blog ect. As you can imagine due to her illness and the effects they have on her life it gets her down leading to an on going battle with depression, unfortunately until her health starts to improve her depression prob wont either. She is very much the second half of this blog so I wish her well very soon!!!
 
 

Beth

 

 
 
 
Now we come to me, Beth. The reasons for me were all pretty much new. I had moved to a new town, I have been trying to adjust and settle in both for me and my children. This became my number one priority. It wasn't easy, It was a whole life adjustment for a number of reasons which will be explained in a future blog post. I have now also been diagnosed with depression. This is very hard to talk about. I don't like talking about it, but I feel I now have to share my experiences to help both me and anyone else that have also got it.
 
 
These reasons are the background of the fact we disappeared. I look forward into going into more detail. Katie still  isn't feeling 100% as I explained she maybe doing the odd post when she feels up to It, she is still very much involved in the blog just behind the scenes a bit more at the moment.
 
I can't wait to you are back doing regular posts Katie!!
 
 
WE ARE BACK!!!
 
LotsOfLove
Beth....xxx

Thursday, 30 April 2015

Twenty Three Years Old

     Image via Pinterest 

So today is my 23rd birthday and for the first time ever that I'm not really bothered if I have cake or celebrate to be honest. Not having my Nieces, Brother & Beth is probably 50% of the reason I'm not bothered but the other 50% would defiently be my two illnesses, anxiety and depression. Last year I wasn't that bad as was only 3 months into when the pains started and I wasn't even diagnosed then. Now it's much different, I know I can't drink as today I start a strong painkiller for nerve pain, I can't eat too much or if any cake due to my colitis as it's very up in the air lately, I haven't got much money or much family around to go and do something so to me it's just going to be an ordinary day. 

    See I was once a blonde ha 

So far I think I've been through quite a lot in my life. For a 23 year old, I've suffered with many illnesses since I was about 16 year old, suffered with heartache, loss of family members, self harm, depression, eating disorder, anxiety, panic attacks and alot of hurt in my life and obviously I wished I never suffered with any of them but in a weird way it's made me very mature and my head is screw on. I done clubbing the drinking the partying til late and all of that stuff when I was 16/17 so when I got to 18 I wanted to calm down and settle which no one around me was doing.

   Few years ago when I was happy with my weight meh! 

I've had the worse luck in my life too be honest with love, career, education and personal stuff. I've never been the one to know what exactly what career I wanted. I always wanted to have a husband and my own family while everyone my age was out in Ibiza doing summers over there. When I had an misscarriage in 2012 that was when a light switch on in my head and made me realise I need to concertrate on myself, I'm too young  for my own family and that I need to live a little first. I tried and tried, I went to job interviews that worked out well, got the jobs and always something would happen health wise that would make me not able to start those jobs. I didn't have any real friends and I had a few years of just feeling stuck and being down.

   2014 - an amazing year.

In 2014, my life changed for the better. Ava and Bethany walked into my life and since then I have been so lucky and blessed to have a sister in law who is also my best friend, she helped me more than she knows. Beth has helped my confidence and I feel 100% safe now knowing I actually have a true friend that I haven't had since I was 16 years old. And then Ava who when I meet her she couldn't even talk much or climb onto my bed and now she telling me stories and cuddles me and says she loves me. I absolutely adore this little girl and being an auntie is the best thing ever happened to me. It's made me a stronger, happier and wiser person. Yeah 2014 was mainly a lot of bad luck health wise & family stuff but the memories that me, tommy, Bethany, Ava and my mother made are ones I will never forget. Then end of 2014  my life got even better and I gained another beautiful niece. Bella Mai has made all of our lives complete. I cannot wait to make even more memories with my nieces. 

    Me as a baby haha 

To finish this post I have included a picture above of me as a baby which I think slightly looks abit like Bella Mai. So in 23 years I have had more downs than ups but I'm so lucky to be alive. I hope I have my own family one day and to me my main goal in life is to able to have a baby and if I can't have babies then I shall be adopting LOTS of puppies haha.

So happy birthday to me. Time to open cards, no pressies yet and get drunk on erm coffee as going for a costa lunch. How exciting are birthdays eh!!! I want a party with musical chairs, pass the parcel and party bags. Growing up isn't fun. 

Love Katie 

Sunday, 12 April 2015

Life Lately By Katie

I can't believe it has been nearly a month since I last blogged. Things got abit hectic at the end of March then I got ill with Chest infection/ Tonsillitis so its been one of those months already. 

So end of March I went to Essex for Beth's Sister Hen Party which was so good. I planned to go down on 26th March on a Thursday but due to Bella being in Hospital, I traveled down by train on Wednesday to help out Beth & Tommy with looking after Ava as they was both at the hospital during the day and then took it in turns with staying overnight at hospital. Bella came out of hospital on the Thursday so I only really got to spend half of the day with Ava but we had an amazing afternoon taking selfies, eating chocolate and playing round. 

Ava & Myself 
The Hen Party was so good. It was the first time in years that myself and Beth have been out properly and got dressed up ect so it was abit nerve wrecking but at the same time it was amazing for us to be out and let our hair down. I didn't drink much due to my medication but I did get abit tipsy but Beth on the other hand got little bit drunk and was so funny. The amount of times she told me she loves me that night was alot and the words coming out of her mouth, I should of recorded her haha but it was so nice to see Beth relax and enjoy herself after the week she had with Bella and awful luck this year she has had it was just nice to see her happy. 

Myself & Beth @ Hen Party 
On the Saturday we had plans to go to Lakeside just the girls but my colitis played up and had an horrible Migraine so I spent all day and night in Ava's bed asleep while having Tommy and Beth checking on me giving me medication and water bless them. 

Bella Mai 

Bella Mai with her Daddy 
As you can see how beautiful is my Niece Bella Mai. I had so many cuddles with her and fed her, changed her nappy and dressed her and I loved it. Yes it did make me extremely broody but it also made me realise that Beth deserves a medal. She has Bella and Ava to look after while Bella been ill for many of months and other bad luck in life lately I just think she is an amazing Mother and she never ever complains or moans. I take my hat of to her, if I was half the Mother she is then I know I would be okay. 

I went home on the Sunday and then that when the illness started. So Bella had Bronchitis, Tommy had Tonsillitis and Beth had an Chest Infection and I was fine while I was there but soon as I got home I started feeling so sick but I never suffer with any throat problems so I didn't expect it. Also it was the week of hardly any doctors appointments so it was nearly a week til I got an appointment and was given antibiotics. The doctor said I have Tonsillitis, Chest Infection and Laryngitis so I was very ill, I lost my appetite so hardly eaten for nearly two weeks, I couldn't drink anything but water or Coke (weird seeing as I usually hate coke). I feel alot better than I was but still got a sore throat and I'm getting my appetite back. My Mother also had an Chest Infection so it was all illnesses for the Family. I didn't feel like blogging at all but now I'm better I feel ready to blog. I sort of lost my blogging thinking cap and didn't know what to write. 

April is my Birthday month and I'm going to Essex end of April for few days so I can't wait. Beth has done some blogging while I was sick so have a read of those..HEREHERE and HERE. So check them out :) 

I shall do my Health update sometime soon, I have alot to update on as I've had a few appointments since my last update. I shall get Beth to do Bella's update soon as she is nearly 4 months old and has grown up so much. I love seeing the changes and milestones when I see her and also Ava seems so much grown up now Bella is here. She is the best big sister ever. Hope you all have an amazing April. 

Love Katie xx 

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