Girly Day Out

Sorry I haven't blogged for so long. Haven't got my laptop sorted yet and I rarely go on my Computer in my home office plus I have had lack of motivation and no idea what to write but today I was to share these photos of me, my Nieces and Beth two weeks ago when I went down for the weekend and we had an girlies day out at Lakeside.

Bella Mai is nearly 5 months old,she is so tiny for her age but is so alert and advance. Over the few days I changed her bum, dressed her, fed her ect and I loved it. Even if she was sick all over me and even in my hair haha. I love her so much. 

Ava Lily is my little best friend. She is so grown up now and she loved our girly day out. We had nandos and Ava eaten it all and had the best time. We went shopping after and she picked up some sunglasses in Primark as she loves sunglasses. Ava was such a good girl, of course she had her moments like all toddlers do but on the whole she was good. We all was wearing our Converses apart from Bella so we looked like triplets ha. 

This is myself and Bethany aka my best friend and sister in law. We just had continuous laughter and so much fun. We brought the same joggers and tops in Primark as we both has the exact same taste and weirdly we are the same sizes in clothes and shoes. This was the first time that myself, Beth and the Girls spent the whole day together. Tommy was on a stag do all day so we took advantage of being free ladies for the day. Bella Mai was an angel and slept pretty much most of the time in Lakeside. 

We treated ourself to a bottle well two bottles of rose from marks & Spencer's which was lovely. We got back about 6ish and Tommy came back not long after, the girls got ready for bed, had cuddles with us and off they both went to bed. Myself and Beth sat down with the glass of rose and it was so nice. Usually Beth been pregnant or antibiotics and even though I shouldn't be drinking with my medication, I made sure I didn't have much painkillers that day. It was the best weekend ever and it's only a week til I go down next for 5 days I can't wait. 

Girly days are the best. Although saying that we both love our Tommy lots and he would of loved to join us on our girly day so next time he can join us, be our shopping bag holder and join us in nandos hahaha!! 

Love Katie x

Unknown Talent Shelly?

Many of you may have tuned in to loose woman today. On the show was Michael flatly, apparently my mother in law wants to give him a run for his money :) 

When making plans to watch loose

woman my mother in law Shelly had no idea she would be making a personal appearance Irish dancing.... 

She did so well! Such a good sport! Maybe they will have you on the panel next shell what you think? 

LotsOfLove 

Beth...xxx 

Perfect pads!

This month I got my usual visit from Mother Nature just when I'm about to settle down for a comfy night cuddling up in bed with my Mr, so yes Mother Nature came knocking at the most inconvenient time once again. Obviously I reached for my usual choice of always across the room and got ready for a few days of pain and discomfort. 

About a day in I ironically hear that my mother in law Shelly was raving at home about the new always infinity after trying them out ( I know me and my mother in law having monthlys at the same time...spooky). Tired with discomfort of my unusual pads I thought there is no harm in trying them... It couldn't get any worse. I got my Tommy to drive me to the nearest supermarket so I could collect myself a pack of these comfy pads like a child I couldn't wait to get home and line my undies with this new improved product.  This is the moment I realised I've grown up I used rush home to play with my newest toy/gadget eat my favourite sweets or try my new lipgloss now I can't wait to get home to try knicker pads... 

However may I say it was worth it! The advert for these bad boys and my mother  in laws opinion rings true. They are the most amazing pads I have ever tried! They are so comfortable, you don't know you have one on. I infact almost forgot what unpleasantries was going on downstairs. This is also the first time I can say these pads are well worth the retail price. They are worth every penny. A lot of people wear tampons because they don't like the messy "nappy" feeling of pads, but with these you get none of that I can guarantee that this will put maybe half or more of tampon users back on the side of pads.. Well it would me if i ever wore tampons. My sister and Katie even tried these out following my recommendations and loved them! 

All I have left to say is why put up with an uncomfortable week each month? You no longer have to so don't let yourself. Get yourself down to any supermarket boots or superdrug and purchase these perfect pads and have a pleasant call from Mother Nature ... For once:) 

Lots Of Love 

Beth...xxx

Twenty Three Years Old

     Image via Pinterest 

So today is my 23rd birthday and for the first time ever that I'm not really bothered if I have cake or celebrate to be honest. Not having my Nieces, Brother & Beth is probably 50% of the reason I'm not bothered but the other 50% would defiently be my two illnesses, anxiety and depression. Last year I wasn't that bad as was only 3 months into when the pains started and I wasn't even diagnosed then. Now it's much different, I know I can't drink as today I start a strong painkiller for nerve pain, I can't eat too much or if any cake due to my colitis as it's very up in the air lately, I haven't got much money or much family around to go and do something so to me it's just going to be an ordinary day. 

    See I was once a blonde ha 

So far I think I've been through quite a lot in my life. For a 23 year old, I've suffered with many illnesses since I was about 16 year old, suffered with heartache, loss of family members, self harm, depression, eating disorder, anxiety, panic attacks and alot of hurt in my life and obviously I wished I never suffered with any of them but in a weird way it's made me very mature and my head is screw on. I done clubbing the drinking the partying til late and all of that stuff when I was 16/17 so when I got to 18 I wanted to calm down and settle which no one around me was doing.

   Few years ago when I was happy with my weight meh! 

I've had the worse luck in my life too be honest with love, career, education and personal stuff. I've never been the one to know what exactly what career I wanted. I always wanted to have a husband and my own family while everyone my age was out in Ibiza doing summers over there. When I had an misscarriage in 2012 that was when a light switch on in my head and made me realise I need to concertrate on myself, I'm too young  for my own family and that I need to live a little first. I tried and tried, I went to job interviews that worked out well, got the jobs and always something would happen health wise that would make me not able to start those jobs. I didn't have any real friends and I had a few years of just feeling stuck and being down.

   2014 - an amazing year.

In 2014, my life changed for the better. Ava and Bethany walked into my life and since then I have been so lucky and blessed to have a sister in law who is also my best friend, she helped me more than she knows. Beth has helped my confidence and I feel 100% safe now knowing I actually have a true friend that I haven't had since I was 16 years old. And then Ava who when I meet her she couldn't even talk much or climb onto my bed and now she telling me stories and cuddles me and says she loves me. I absolutely adore this little girl and being an auntie is the best thing ever happened to me. It's made me a stronger, happier and wiser person. Yeah 2014 was mainly a lot of bad luck health wise & family stuff but the memories that me, tommy, Bethany, Ava and my mother made are ones I will never forget. Then end of 2014  my life got even better and I gained another beautiful niece. Bella Mai has made all of our lives complete. I cannot wait to make even more memories with my nieces. 

    Me as a baby haha 

To finish this post I have included a picture above of me as a baby which I think slightly looks abit like Bella Mai. So in 23 years I have had more downs than ups but I'm so lucky to be alive. I hope I have my own family one day and to me my main goal in life is to able to have a baby and if I can't have babies then I shall be adopting LOTS of puppies haha.

So happy birthday to me. Time to open cards, no pressies yet and get drunk on erm coffee as going for a costa lunch. How exciting are birthdays eh!!! I want a party with musical chairs, pass the parcel and party bags. Growing up isn't fun. 

Love Katie 

Bellas 4month update

I So sorry I've missed out a month of Bellas update! Last month was hectic! 

Bellas 4 month update

 

As you can see bells has started filling out tho a bit later than usual! She's come on leaps and bounds since being on her new allergy milk. She is putting weight on regulary and at the moment weighs 11lb 14oz tho she is petit. Hopefully after he stay in hospital last month after having to be on oxygen for a few days due to bronchulitis (why I didn't do her 3mnth update) she has left her rocky start behind her. 

She is not yet rolling all the way over tho she does go onto her side, I'm hoping by her five month update she will be going all the way! Shes developing a funny personality she doesn't stop smilingor  cooing.! She is also absolutely fascinated with the tele especially the football!  

That's about all this month to update!!

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxx

What Being An Auntie Means To Me

To me being an Auntie is the most wonderful, amazing and rewarding thing that ever happened in my life. Ava Lily and Bella Mai literally make me smile and happy no matter what and I'm so lucky to have them both in my life.

My Brother and I are only 12 months apart so we are very close and always have had a close bond and I wished our future children would have the bond with each other like we have. I always thought I would be the first to have a baby to be honest as I was older and been in relationships but due to my fertility and miscarriage problems that mean I wasn't the first. When Tommy & Bethany announce they was pregnant with Bella well I say announce but what really happened was myself and my Mother guessed then they confirmed it was true haha!! I was so over the moon and instantly making lists of what to buy my Niece/Nephew (didn't know what sex Bella was back then) and I was so convince they was having a Boy haha!!! 

Ava Lily is my best friend. She is the most beautiful, caring, intelligent, funny and understanding 3 year old and I love nothing more than having Niece & Auntie days out. Our trips to the park, shops and walks are some of my best memories. I have learnt a lot since being a Auntie and its defiantly makes you realise how much of a hard job it is and I put my hands up to any parents out there. Although Ava is a very good child and of course she has her moments like every child, I can honestly say I think Beth deserve a medal. When they lived here, I always offered to make her breakfast, wash her, change her ( although she does it herself as she is so independent), take her out, do her lunch and dinner, bath her and put her to bed and I love doing all of that. I know some Aunties are not hands on and I just don't get how. I guess it helps that myself and Bethany are very close but even if we wasn't I would still be hands on. 

Bella Mai has only been in my life for 4 months but it is like she has been here forever. That moment I walked into the hospital ward and saw her I just felt this feeling of happiness. Bella is so content, happy, beautiful and alert baby I have ever known. I admit I was scared to hold, feed, wind and change her as she is smaller for her age and looks so fragile. Once Beth helped and reassured me, I got more confident and now I love doing anything for Bella. I wish I lived closer as I would be there helping with the girls while telling Bethany to go and rest. 

To me being a Auntie is more than just the typical Auntie role. It has given me the confidence, it has shown me what happiness really is and what being proud really means. When I see Ava say new words, when she shows me what she makes at school and when she tells me " Auntie Katie I love you" it just feels me up with proudness. I guess most aunties don't live with their Nieces but I did for a few months and that did help a lot I think. While Bethany was pregnant and was rushed into hospital, I was beside Ava's bed on the floor holding her hand because she was worried about mummy and didn't want to fall asleep alone. I will and do anything for my Nieces. 

I want to thank my Brother and Bethany for giving me two best gifts in my life and making me a proud Auntie. It has made me grow up, more confident and has put life into perspective. I hope one day I can make Tommy into a Uncle and Beth into a Auntie to my child/children. I would love nothing more than to have my own baby. I see how much hard work it is but how rewarding it is. When Bella Mai smiles at me, when Ava Lily cuddles and says I love you, when Bella holds my finger and when Ava runs and gives me the biggest cuddle when I see her.. That is what keeps me going. Those girls have no idea how much they keep me normal haha!! My life isn't the best at the mo with health problems but having Bethany and My Nieces in my life makes things so much easier to deal with. 

I love you Bella Mai & Ava Lily, I promise to always care, love and always make you both laugh and smile. And I will continue to have a low bank balance as I can't help myself buying you both Cath Kidston stuff, Converses, books, Lush Bath Bombs for Ava (the robot one) and cute clothes haha!!! I've made Ava obsessed with Cath Kidston kids bags and Lush Baby Bot so you can tell she is defiantly my Niece :) 

Love Katie xx 

Pain Is Lonely

I saw this quote on Pinterest and instantly  agreed and can relate to it so much. Having two Chronic Illnesses has made my life changed so much and most of the time I feel lonely. I have to decline some family events or days out because of the pain which makes me incredulity down and lonely. I spend most days at home, in my bedroom, in pain and dosed up on painkillers and other medication I'm on. Apart from the rare occasion of days out, the only day trips are hospital and doctors appointments. I see my GP twice a month which can be more it depends, consultant for my Colitis, consultant for my Back and Pain Management Clinic  so my diary is always filled up with appointments. Soon to have a check up update appointment on my fertility/ovary ect which will mean doctors/nurse app, ultrasound and then to a gynaecologist and not forgetting the blood tests I have regularly. Being ill itself is like a full time job and I hate when people think we are lazy and I tell you what, I would swap my pain for a normal full time job anyday. 

Pain wakes me up at 3/4am so I can be up til 6am and that when I feel lonely most. I'm so glad one of my dogs sleeps in my bedroom overnight. Buster always wakes up if I'm in pain to check how I am, he is a bloody diamond. Pain can even make me feel mad and angry sometimes. Angry that I can't sleep, angry when I get to sleep that the pain wakes me up, angry when family members think I'm lazy, angry when you don't see the doctor you trust and always see, angry when they say " We need to see you in 6/8 weeks but we have no appointments til 3 months time", angry when the chemist give you wrong amont of tablets, angry when the chemist  forgets to put in a certain medication. There are many more reasons that make me angry, mad and lonely but I would be here all day if I said them all. 

I've always be a person who likes their own company but since being ill it's made me realise how much I'm greatful for when I spend time with people. A weekend in Essex with my family is basically like a holiday for me and I try to not let pain get to me. Although pain is there constantly but when I'm happy with people I love I make myself try to ignore it. The train/tube journey to Essex absolutely kills my back & last time I was feeling sick due to my medication side effects but I tried to put that to the back of my mind and think of the reason I'm on the train. 

Pain is lonely but people with Chronis Illnesses and people who suffer with pain we need to not let it make us anymore lonely. Also it is totally okay to feel lonely and it is normal to, don't let people make you think you're lazy. We are ill for god sake and the amont of bloody side effect medications gives us we are totally allowed to rest. 

Love Katie xx