A Moan From A mum

As a parent you go through so many emotions and so many selfies for that matter. Now come on lets be honest these selfies portray such a shit image of life as a parent. Yeah they are all happy and sweet and cute, but come on realistic? No. Don't get me wrong it is like that..some days okay they are more often than not, but come on I cant be the only one who has such rubbish days that by the end of it I want to stick my head in a blender, now do people selfie them days? No.

This morning looked so promising, I woke up surprisingly un tired, which for me is a rarity. I'm usually walking around half asleep like a zombie at 9 o clock seriously, if you visited at that time you would feel like your on the set of the walking dead. But anyway lets get back to this morning and like I said I was feeling pretty good, I had to check the date because I thought I had been asleep for a whole three months. I felt that damn good. For a woman whom mother nature is calling I was pleasantly surprised, once the shock had worn off I started to get on with my day.

I like to have a look around the house before I start the day, lets be honest I knew the day was gonna be utter rubbish when I saw the flat was an absolute bomb site! I just closed my eyes took a breath and took myself slowly into see the girls. To be real I saw their sweet little smiles and they melted my stress. With that breakfast was next on the agenda as always. I set about making different breakfast for all of us. Ahh. I bit my lip swallowed the stress and got on with it, the girls needed food. It weren't their fault that they fancied different. But like come on it took me that long that when I sat down to eat my blooming toast it was stone cold and floppy! Come on. Really. Meanwhile I was still staring at the pig sty that sort of looked like my home. I had to tidy. Of course I had to I am Mum, cleaner, cook, launderette, ironing lady ... well the list is endless. But I am on my shitty period for crying out loud! I just want to curl up with a big bar of galaxy. (I have finished sulking). One puts herself in cleaning mode and now I'm thinking great I can recruit a little assistant, Ava. Like come on they are toys spread all over the living room floor, surely she will be all up for helping her mummy. I don't know if any of you have experienced I child that is dead against the idea of tidying up but if you haven't its like Godzilla has been unleashed. I had now started a battle which I was now aware was going to last hours. On my side of the tidying up, well that was almost non existent, I had  my little Bella perched on my hip, her bum seemed to be super glued there too. To be honest that I didn't mind. Made me feel wanted and with Bella at the age where she was always on the go I was grabbing cuddles where I could. But you know things had to be done, so along came one handed super mum. By this time I was well into a screaming match with my teenage wannabe 4 year old. No the tidying hadn't been done. But yes we had, had more arguments in half an hour than big  brother had, had in a series. Not to mention time is getting on and Bella is getting ratty! On the brighter side the living room was now gleaming. No Ava did mot cave, I did. Ava 1 - 0 Mummy. My clothes  are now finally on. The girls have been playing nicely. WOO. Nah ah. The bedrooms were well they weren't bedrooms they were toy pits. Ava time to tidy! This was not going to go down well. So now I am trying to do my make up one handed Bella in one arm make up in the other, I have one flip flop  on because the other one had seemed to have grown a pair of legs and my little teenager is gearing up for round 2. VICTORY. My make up is on, yeah its patchy as fuck but its made the face and at this point I really don't care plus I am still trying to get my 4 year old to tidy not good. This leads on to my next disaster, I thought lets guide Ava too her room, surely with it staring her in the face she will want to tidy it but apparently kids can stand mess more than us adults. Did I make it as far as the bedroom. No. What I did do was trip into a wall and stub my toe. OHHHHHH THE PAIN. I needed to go to A&E. It was broken. Okay, okay no it wasn't but it bloody felt like it. A stubbed toe is NOT for the faint hearted. Though my injury had its upside, its seems my hurting stops arguments and makes Ava tidy. Who would have thought it. Note to self, in future when needed to avoid toddler arguments and needing the to tidy their mess just injure myself, don't care how. As long as I'm in freaking pain. Ava 1 - 1 Mummy.  

Do you know what she did after she had tidied and my throbbing toe and shrunk back to normal size and after I had prayed to god to ease my day. She smiled. Simply smiled. No Ava don't do that. That's the bloody worst. It makes my heart melt. It makes me forget, the courage I had built up to confiscate toys, treats ect as punishment. It reminds me that no matter how testing a morning I have had as mummy. I am lucky. I would rather be pulling my hair out over my children than pulling my Hair out because I don't have them.

I love you both my little sunshines.

Thanks for listening to my little moan!!

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx

Where We Have Been

So we haven't been blogging a lot over the past few months which we have valid reasons for but hopefully soon we should at least have one post up per week.

Ava & Bella loving their new home :)

Where we have been?
Me (Katie) well my illnesses haven't been too good lately to the point where I haven't opened up my laptop in ages. My Colitis flare up has no sign of settling down and I am still waiting for an appointment with the Gastro ward. The fatigue is getting the better of me. My painkillers dose has been upped which obviously comes with more side effects so I am like a zombie pretty much most of the day.

Bethany .. welll things have finally gone to plan for her and my Brother and they now are living in Berkshire so we live in the same county finally and their place is about 20 minutes away. It all happened so fast that they had just under two weeks to buy everything for the flat and pack everything up. So on the 19th October Beth, my Brother and most of both of our families all came together to help move in. For the past year they have had bad luck when it comes to finding a place to rent so it was all hush hush when they got the go ahead to move as they didn't want to temp fate.

So things have been abit manic lately and this weekend will be even more manic as on Saturday Beth and Tom are having a little housewarming party/get together, Sunday myself, Beth, Tommy and the girls are off to Harry potter Tour and then on Monday it is Bethany's 22nd Birthday and as Tommy will be working, I am staying the night before so I can spend the day with her and go for lunch and obviously a Costa. Once this weekend is over then I will hopefully well I WILL be seeing Beth least once a week and hopefully most weekends. I shall take my laptop over to hers and as she lives next to Costa we shall be having a blogging costa date most weeks haha.

I have energy for the first time today and I guess the medication and coffee is to thank for that. So I am going to try and write a few posts so I can put them up next week :) Hope you are all well :)

Love Katie xx  

Don't know, Don't Judge

As many of you may have experienced when having a child many of your friends may not talk to you as much, you spend your time knee high deep in nappies, playing comedian to your gorgeous little bundle taking snapshots of every wide eyed cheeky smile and taking on the whole new language of baby talk in order to engage in full length conversations with your gorgeous little person. So while doing all this you tend to forget that you ever had a social life. When you do eventually remember, your friends have moved on and to be honest speaking from my experience the drinking evenings well any evenings out past 11pm is just not your scene anymore partly because your simply just too tired and well  you don't want to leave your precious baby for too long. So it goes without saying you find a new sense of social life one in which you can spend with your child and be home way before 11pm. The answer? Baby groups.

Well I got the chance to join said baby group, I didn't honestly think I would get the confidence to hit it off with any other mums because well quite frankly engaging in full length conversations with people I barely know talking about intimate details like child birth sparing no details was not a strong point. Quite honestly my shyness sucked. I wouldn't mind but it only shows itself sometimes. Needless to say I did engage and too my surprise it was not that scary and I found myself enjoying the detailed stories of child birth and being able to compare experiences. I completely enjoyed going every week and having mums to relate to and having baby friends for my little Bella. It was refreshing something new. I never did any baby groups with Ava, I still had a close friend to go on shopping trips with and be social with ect but that's for another post! As you can imagine I was quite sad when the group came to  an end. delightfully myself and the other ladies exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up, this is a perk to baby groups.

I bet you wonder why on earth I am rambling and want me to get to the point of the title well don't worry I am ...

We met up we had a fab time seeing everyone in another setting (a certain coffee shop beginning with a C) we had in depth convos about parenting shared advice and got to know each other very well.  We all got on perfectly so much so we arranged another meeting. This second meeting is when I started seeing a certain person in a whole new light. We discussed our ages after revealing mine a certain member of the group started to act funny with me, didn't seem to want to  smile at me talk directly to me or quite frankly listen to me. To be honest at first I thought I was being paranoid, but after another meeting she was still the same.

Now why would you judge a person on age? Just because I am younger than the rest of the group does not mean I know nothing. For a start I have 2 children to her 1 I have tons of advice more I could give as I have been done that before. Yes no baby is the same and even I am still learning. These people who judge on matters such as age seriously don't know the person. I have been through some dark times in my nearly 22 years which I have not opened up about to the blog world yet. These are things most people do not go through in their entire life time.

Tonight as I am writing this post asking why? Why does age have to make some one change toward you? Yeah some younger people can be immature but not all, saying that she was fine with me before she found out, had conversations with me listened ect. So literally because of my age that makes the  difference. How does that change the person that I am?

I have thought this over time and time again in my head thinking this is my fault something I have done when the other day I stopped and thought no Bethany you have not done anything wrong your age is not your fault you cant help the year in which you were born and your a mature great person. No, this is small mindedness of small minded people. I would say to people who judge simply don't. You don't know anyone back story you don't know their experiences. In your mind your thinking you look better but you don't. Stop think and get to know. You will look better to people and feel better.

REMEMBER ... Don't judge a book by its cover.

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx
 

Mothers Day - From a Mum...

Well this is a great time of year, giving thanks to mothers, a person in most people's lives whose always been there your back bone to life and someone who will always be there no matter what. We will be seing loads of posts about what our mothers mean to us, so I thought I'd do a post from the other point of view. A mothers point of view. What it means to be a mummy having these gorgeous little people relying on you. 

Take me back five years you would never have thought I would become a mum let a lone a mum of two! I was the ditsiest rebellious person you could have met. I'm not going to lie I was selfish, and I was failing at aspects of my life, from what I wanted to do career wise and relationship wise. You see I would ALWAYS pick the wrong ones! So you would not expect me out of all people to become a mum. 

  In early to mid 2011 I found out I was pregnant and facing single parent hood. It was a shock. A good one. I was plagued full of emotions scared, excited , loving. Eventually the 6th December came and my beautiful daughter Ava was born. It was the happiest day. I held her in my arms. I looked at her, and I promised her that although she didn't have a dad I was going to do both jobs. I was going to be there for her love her care for and always do the best I could. I found my calling in life and that was to be a mum. for two years I  was a single mum, working out and managing my money to give her the best I could and looking after her on my own. I enjoyed it being a mum was everything.

When I met Tom I had no idea what he would make of Ava and what she would make of him, but they hit it off like a house on fire and as our relationship blossomed so did theirs. I was no longer single I now have a life partner bit more importantly Ava now has what she never did.. A dad. You see Biologically Toms not her father but he is her dad. Being her dads not blood it's about being there for her picking her up when she's down cuddling her when she cries and nursing her knees when she falls over.... He is all she knows and who she calls dad. Our life couldn't get any better could it?? That's what I thought but then I found out I was pregnant again. We were so happy and for me I wasn't scared this time because I wasn't going to be a single mummy I was going to be a mummy as part of a partnership. You think when your pregnant with your second what if it's different this time what if it's not the same. 

On the 19th December 2014 Bella was born and no it was no different! I had the same emotions as I did the first time the same thoughts this was equally the best day of my life. I held her tiny body in my arms held her tiny hand and I wanted to burst out in tears I was so proud she is perfect just like Ava and I also promise her what I did Ava except this time I didn't have to promise to be daddy Aswell. 

When I look at both my girls my eyes fill up, I want to cry, I made these two and they are the two most perfect little princess in the world  I'm so proud to have them both.

Us mums we are busy, our lives are hectic, we don't stop from the minute we open our eyes to the minuet we close them. We spend our days tired, our hairs a mess we have sick on our shoulders, we have washing coming out of our ear holes, CBeebies on 24/7, we are forever cleaning up spilt juice spilt milk crumbs and food trod into the carpet, we wipe bums and go through tears and tantrums , cleaning cuts and grazes, making bottles and dinners, ironing clothes making beds, we are up half the night wiping away tears and fighting off nightmares. Through all this we never moan and we won't, we don't do all this because we have too we do it because we WANT to .. Because we are the mother of our children this is our job and our honour, we do it because our children are the most important thing to us and all this is part of that promise we make the day you are born that promise to love and look after you and protect you till the day we die. 

Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there you are doing a great job.

Lots Of Love 

Beth...xxx 

Mummy 1 Month Update

As you all know I had a baby girl 1 month ago and here is my update :) 

I have been feeling so well after having Bella. I was in a bit of pain in the first week after with my uterus going back ect, and my boobs were a bit tender with a bit of breast feeding and my milk coming through. Mentally as you know I had the baby blues but all including the physical things have gone and I am feeling my normal self:) the only thing that of course has not gone are my stretch marks...

I have not yet used any cream for them because to be honest I don't have much time to think about it. I should make time for myself so I will do and let you know what products work for my stretch marks.

I've found settling into family life with a bigger family very enjoyable. On weekdays while Toms at work I have made a habit of getting up and after giving bella her first morning bottle getting me and the girls dressed then giving Ava her breakfast and Bella a bottle. This is after sterilising her bottles and getting her milk ready for the day. Of a weekend Tommy obviously helps and we do it as a team. I love seeing my little family all together I'm so proud. 

I've found getting used to having two children very easy and enjoyable. Dont get me wrong it is very tiring at times but I wouldn't change it for the world. Everything I do as a mother is totally worth it. I look at my girls every day and I feel the love for them pouring out. They are my world and always will be. 

All in all everything right now in my life is looking up. My family has extended and Bella has made life go from great too amazing. 

I couldn't be happier :) 

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxx 

Bella's 4 Weeks Update

Bellas 4 Week update!!

Bella is now 4 weeks! Ain't it gone fast! We are having issues with her weight in which doctors are looking into, she dropped down too 6lb 11oz and has been slow putting it on but she is now just above birth weight at 7lb 4oz! This is meaning Bella is still comfortably in newborn clothes she even has some room! She is really coming on in other areas though she started cooing a little bit yesterday:) and has established a proper feeding routine, she is breast and bottle so is feeding every 2 hours first on breast then has some bottle except of a night she goes 3 to 4 hours. We have a established a nice routine during the day of a morning getting up having a feed then I sterilise her bottles and sorting out her milk & water for the day while giving Ava breakfast and then me and the girls get dressed ready to start the day :). Bella has quite a bit of colic especially during the evening so she takes a while to settle bless her but she does and then wakes up at between 2 and 4 for a feed :). I have started to put her in cute little headbands they are so pretty and she looks adorable in them not that she don't already! She has took to a mam dummy though daddy still gives her a leeds United one! If I had my way it would be West Ham! But she is following in her daddy's footsteps football wise! 

I'm really enjoying being a mummy of

Two and am so proud of both my girls. Bella has took my life from perfect to amazingly perfect, she is so precious and such a beautiful baby girl and we all love her so so much.

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxx

Take some time...

Being a mum is the best job in the world. It can be stressful at times but as soon as your little one smiles it's enough to melt your heart and you remember how lucky and gifted you are to be a mum. It's then you see how rewarding it is to be a mummy. 

You will find you dedicate you whole life to this little person or persons you breath live and would die for your child. You probably get covered with their toilets, and food with a little bit of sick on your shoulder. Not the most glamorous but hey we are mums we don't care! No matter how much you take beings mum in your stride you still need to remember you. Even if not for yourself for your child. You need to take a little time for yourself, give baby to daddy or another family member and even if it's just an hour take some time for you, doing something that you like doing, it will at least clear your mind just once in a while. Being a mum with a clear fresh mind will help you through your mummy days allowing you to keep on top of the day. 

It's very easy to get lost and just be seen as mummy not just to your children it to others too, but it is important not to loose your identity yourself underneath all that sick and dirty nappies is the person you always have been and you want your children to know you for you too don't you?  Don't be afraid to get them minded by daddy for an hour or bit more, it will not make you any less of a parent, you will still be a good mummy. 

Yesterday my Tommy made me have time for myself. For the past 6 month I haven't touched my hair and my nails were worst for wear. Tom paid for me to have my hair and nails done, I felt guilty yes. I felt like I should be by my childrens side or putting the money a side in savings "just incase". But now they done and I have had time to reflect and think I feel better in myself I feel more me. Even more when I saw my girls again I couldn't wait to get back to being mum. 

Being a mum don't mean loosing yourself , take time to think about you it don't make you any less of a mum. Be the best mum you can be. Be confident and proud and enjoy every minute with your family, and those extra hour spent with yourself. Love life and be happy and mums remember ... Your doing a good job. 

 

LotsOfLove

Beth...xxx

Toddler Tuesday

Last week when I did my toddler Tuesday update Ava was not very well:( she has only just gotten over this after passing it on to mummy & daddy! 

That's the thing when you have children you nurse them better and get them back to full health and then come down with it yourself! But I must say it's totally worth it for them to no longer be ill. It's like you literally taking it off them and although left under the weather it does feel rewarding.  

It is safe and I'm so happy to say she is back to her cheeky self ...

Bedtime Battle

The old bedtime battle is back! She won't go to sleep without anyone sitting with her till she falls asleep nor will she stay in her bed all night, I think when she has change she takes it out on her sleep and knowing that the arrival of her baby sister is soon also adds to her insecurities of anyone leaving her alone. Thanks to great help from family we are all chipping in to lay with Ava so we all get the chance to eat and rest. With Tommy at work all day and me heavily pregnant with only 4 weeks to go it comes as a great help! If anyone has any tips then please feel free to tweet us on our Essex To Windsor Twitter :)

Ava does certainly entertain me during the day and her speech is really coming on even in this last week. Although her sleeping pattern is a bit up the wall at the moment she is still showing what a happy bright little girl she is doing us proud every day :) 

Ava's night time antics are making her sleeping during the day!...

 

That concludes my Toddler Tuesday for this week:) hope you all enjoyed as I'm sure a lot of you mums and dads may be able to relate. With all the factors of parenting all the ups and downs it is the most rewarding job in the world :) 

Lots Of Love 

Beth...xxx

Toddler Tuesday

We have decided to do a Tuesday post dedicated to trials and joys of toddlers. As you fellow mums, dads, aunties, uncles, nannies and granddads are all aware toddlers around the age of two start going through the terrible twos tho some are worse than others this time can be very tiring for a parent, but on the flip side toddlers can be the funniest and most loving child there is. 

We only have the experience of Ava who is coming up 3 in December and through the last year her terrible twos have started to develop. Some days her strops will be worse than others but Ava has the habit of cancelling out her naughty behavior by doing something really cute or really good. 

This morning Ava and mummy had some quality bonding time once daddy had set off for work. This was an adorable toddler moment. Mummy and Ava cuddled, laughed and posed for pictures. This mornings bonding also had Ava being funny and cheeky by coping daddy's antics and asking mummy to tickle her back and laughing at herself! Mummy loves mornings like this with her cheeky little girl!

This afternoon we have had a more 'terrible twos' Ava coming across with the answering back, not listening, and doing things she aint meant to do. This is a classic example of terrible two behavior, the way we handle this is to tell her calmly and sternly. We also make use of the 'naughty spot' when we need to and Ava also has a sticker chart in which she responds too nicely. 

Another thing we find great about toddlers is how clever they are, their minds work overtime listening, picking up words and sayings and working out how to do things. We find it amazing how Ava listens to our conversations and repeats them back to us and answers questions that we ask each other. Ava is very independent and has to do most things for herself,  at the age of 2 and half nearly 3 she can take herself to the loo,  pulling her bottoms up and down and cleaning herself afterwards too she needs no assistance, she can also  undress and dress herself, tho she still needs help with buttons on her jeans! To me this behavior shows how clever toddlers are, being able to do these things among other stuff (that i will include in my other Toddler Tuesday posts)  so young shows how quick their little minds work. Sometimes I believe they can give most of us adults to shame!!!

Through all I've mentioned the good, the funny, the cheeky, the naughty and the clever its all these things that make toddlers including Ava themselves and I would never change her for the world. To us she is perfect, we enjoy her cuteness and her funniness and deal with her strops. These are the moments of a child's life not to wish away but to enjoy just like you did when they were small. 

Our toddler Tuesday blogs will involve a lot of rewarding toddler moments and how to challenge the challenging times. Remember, having a toddler is one of the most rewarding things in the world. Just like the general having a child is. 

Hope you all enjoyed reading 

Lots of Love

Katie && Beth...xxx