Relationship Revelation

My lovely readers

You know being in a relationship is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And I've been a single parent. When your single and you think about relationship life you believe its all just going to fall in to your lap, if you find your 'soul mate' so to speak then it will be easy. You will get together and sail off into the sunset and live a life of no stress and no work. Well that's how it works in the movies isn't it? Naïve indeed, but that was me back then. Yes I had a child but when It came to family life I hadn't a clue, I lived with my parents one of them being a mother that wouldn't let me touch the cooker or washing machine, or my bed for that matter. Of course this meant I had it a bit easy but in reality it taught me f***k all about life and how to look after myself ect. My parents never gave me great talks about relationships, what to expect, what its like when you find 'the one' and so on. It wasn't their fault they wasn't s**t parents, they were just from an older generation and found it a bit awkward, whereas parents of today don't. But still whatever the how I was so uneducated when  it came to relationships, whatever I did know was self taught, so I pretty much had to wing it all. The dating, the first night together, the meeting the family, the talk of what you both want, and then the most serious stuff. And of course the sex stuff like,  hey I'm on the pill but do you wanna wear a condom for a double whammy of protection. Which by the way me and Tom didn't and I fell pregnant on the pill.

The honeymoon period was the hardest to understand, sure it was lovely and easy while we were in it, but its the coming out of it I'm talking about, you know the bit where you emerge into a 'proper established' couple, like a caterpillar emerging from a cocoon as butterfly. This is the bit I would have personally like a heads up about. Things change and unless you have been given the heads  up you start to question EVERYTHING. Nothing stays the same, the romance dies down a little, the man gets extremely comfortable and thinks he don't have to woo you and you feel like you can let out your most embarrassing traits and so does he. You tend to bicker because well you know that you don't have to pretend that you love each others bad habits. As a woman I find then that you can get extremely paranoid that he's not into you anymore. He weren't like it before (honeymoon period). In reality he is into just as much but he just knows that he's got you now. You become an unromantic nose picking, wind releasing love making pair. To be honest the love making is the only thing that remains pretty much the same, well it did in my case that was until I was heavily pregnant, even then we didn't stop completely. I fell pregnant in the honeymoon period, which is pretty rare. And during the honeymoon period Tom was obviously getting to know Ava who was very young at the time. He was taking her on as his own. So where as normal couples only experience the normal changes of settling into an established relationship, we had a few extra. Poor Tom had to deal with someone with hormones that hit space and come crashing back down with a massive thud, when he didn't leave me then I knew he was a keeper, I had practically turned into a pig to the point where you could have put me in a pen and I would have fitted in quite well, how he kept up with the amount of food I shoved down me I don't know. Trying to make myself look as attractive as I was when we met, while being pregnant and the size of a house was pretty difficult in itself, though he always said how beautiful I was I was still over paranoid I was gonna loose him. When you add money problems like Tom loosing his job, finding a place to live ect, things got pretty tough. It tested us. We did argue, of course we did. We both got hugely stressed, but we had each other and we both knew we were stronger together. When Tom finally got another stable job and things started to ease it was time for me to give birth to our beautiful Bella. This is where I knew our relationship was for good, he literally saw me toilet during childbirth and although he was nearly sick in his own mouth, he still confessed his love for me. Of course I was mortified when he first told me what he had seen as doing that during childbirth was one of my biggest fears but, now I couldn't give a s**t (pardon the pun). It proved how strong Toms love for me actually is.

Now we have been together 3 years, its been a rocky road full of ups and downs, stresses and joys. Tom can wind me up to the point where I want to scream, whether he does it in a jokey way or a moody way and then in the click of his fingers he can calm  me down and make me laugh. Family life can stress out a relationship, this is sometimes what I wanted mum to make me aware of, sure you can give the safe sex talk, how to handle dates first kisses ect, but what about handling the relationship in the comfy stages, how to deal with emotions when you have an argument ect. When me and Tom have an argument I get so upset, I'm a very emotional person. Heck sometimes I thought life would be easier to walk out, this is when we are arguing. Your head and thoughts get so blurred when your angry. This is when I look into his eyes and all the bad feeling and thoughts all  just melt away, its like looking into them when we first met and falling in love with him all over again. I don't know how he does it.

I suppose from this I wanna hand out some advice, some of you won't need it, some of you might. No matter how much that person annoys you no matter how often they don't do the dishes or they don't pick up their clothes. No matter how many times they make constant jokes they think are funny or moan at you for one thing or another. When you are in that moment where the stress has  built up and you think you just can't do it anymore. Don't run. Its not the answer, if everyone gave up on their relationship when it got a bit stressful then we would all be single. Look into their eyes, see what made you fall in love with this person in the first place, that person is still there. You both just need to make an effort to ensure that you both see that from time to time. Sit down find it in your hearts to forgive each others imperfections and embrace each other. Enjoy each other because one day you wont be able too. Remember like me and Tom your the strongest when together and united. I don't know about you but when me and Tom are united I feel on top of the world, in fact, I feel like I can take on the world. He is my best friend, my soul mate, my partner, my first love and my true love and I will always be by his side.  


Thanks for reading

Until next time :)

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx


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Katie's Health Update #1

Hello everyone. I thought I would start a weekly update on my health as it is something that has a massive impact to my life and I'm in the very early stages of my illness. 

This week my sleep has been affected so much, no matter how much or less I get, I wake up feeling constantly tired :(

Head over here to read my story on my illness!! 


Monday  
I had a Doctor's appointment to collect a prescription as Tramadol can't be put onto my repeat prescription list soI go once a month to collect that and also just a general talk about how I'm getting on ect. I explained to my Doctor that I haven't heard from Physio yet and the medication called Amitriptlyline which I have taken since July, haven't done what their meant to do. As Im under a specialist my Doctor can't take or put me on a certain medication. So My GP has written to my Specialist to see if its okay for me to come off Amitiriptyline and to go one another tablet and also to chase up my physio. After the Doctor's, I walked into town for breakfast and shopping with Ava & My Mother then We met Beth, Tommy and my Cousin Jimmy near the river to feed the ducks. I stupidly forget to take out my painkillers so I was aching alot. I came home and took it easy for the rest of the day. With a hot water bottle and painkillers. 

Tuesday  
Me, Beth, Ava and my Mother had a "Lazy Day" so we wore our comfy clothes sitting in the lounge with a hot water bottle eating loads of treats so we didn't do much. My back was okay during the day due to rest, hot water bottle and painkillers. 


Wednesday  
I had Ava for the day which I blogged about here, so done alot of walking to and from her school and to the shops. Before I started having back problems walking was not a problem but now too much can make my back worse but a small stroll is good for the pain so I try and not over do it. I try and not take too many painkillers during the day as Im up, about and playing with Ava so I don't want to be feeling the effects from the painkillers. I'm running out of Co-Codamol very soon so I must remind myself to pop in the repeat prescription to the chemist. 

Thursday 
I felt okay during the morning then in the afternoon myself and Beth walked Ava to school, pop to the shops and the chemist and during the walk I started to ache alot. When me and Beth got back we only had time for quick lunch before going back to collect Ava. Needless to say in the evening  I was feeling the impact of walking alot. I get pains down my bottom and back of legs and obviously my back. Popped into bed early with painkillers and a hot water bottle. 

Friday  
After a bad night of hardly any sleep due to pain I was feeling rough this morning. I gotten up quite early, tidied my room ect and off I went to drop Ava to school with my Mother, I didn't actually ache but most probably due to the fact I only just took painkillers few mins before we set off. It was the walk to collect Ava that killed, with Beth being 7 Months pregnant and me with my back its safe to say we was a mess haha. Both was in soooo much pain, we took the longest and slowest walk on the way back. Usually takes 10/15 mins but it took us 30 mins due to we was plodding along slowly lol. In the evening soon as Beth left to go to Essex I sat in bed with laptop and hot water bottle. I cannot wait to have a early night tonight!! 

Saturday  
After a bad night of hardly any sleep, I woken up pretty late and spent most of the day laying in bed and being very lazy as it was just myself and my Mother at home today. I fell asleep about 3ish and woken up at 6ish with a very aching back due to the fact I slept in the most awkward position. It's been a cold, boring and painful day and going to try and have a early night as tomorrow I'm off to Essex to spend Bethany 21st birthday with her and her family. I feel sooo drained with the lack of sleep I'm getting this week GRRR. 


Thats my first weekly health update, next week it will be from Sunday (Tomorrow) til Friday. Next week it is a busy busy week with hospital for most of my family actually, with Beth got hospital on Tuesday and my brother is working so I'm going with her, on Wednesday I have a small operation which is to do with my ovaries/womb so will be feeling abit sore for few days, on Thursday my mother has consultant as she recently had a operation and finally on Friday I have just a general doctors appointment so its a busy week. I haven't really got any further in finding the right medication for me as this week was told Im being taking off my Amitriptlyline soon as its not working for me. 


Hopefully I will be giving the new medication soon or early next month so I can get better quickly. With anyone with this condition or anything similar you are not alone :)


Love Katie xx 

Tears At Bedtime

Hi everyone :) a spontaneous blog from me tonight regarding bedtime for toddlers. I have just spent well over an hour putting Ava to bed tonight trying every trick in the book I know of the end result was me sitting in the room till she fell off to sleep. Ava being a happy character during the day her playing up and being miserable and moody is very unusual. 
 Ava has recently started nursery three days a week, yeah they are half days but for a little toddler this can be very tiring and have noticed since attending nursery which is making her more tired, bedtime has become more difficult. Also with a new baby on the way this could be Ava's way of acting out as she hasn't acted out about Bella coming yet. 
 Tonight me and Tom tried many of things to settle and calm Ava down including things I had learnt on the old TV show Supernanny and shows such as This Morning. Things we tried were:

1. Explaining what mummy and daddy are leaving the room to do. 
2. Reading her a bedtime story (she has one every night) and giving it to her to take to bed.
3. Singing her lullabies. 
4. Explaining that mummy and daddy will be coming upstairs later. 
5.Explaining that she got to be a big girl as her baby sister needs to learn from her.
6. Leaving the room and keep putting her back into bed when she got out starting off saying its bedtime Ava to just putting her back into bed without a word. 

None of these things worked with Ava and she eventually went off to sleep with me rocking her and sitting next to her bed and generally just being the room. Now many of people may say I shouldn't have caved in but when your nearly 8 months pregnant and your partners not feeling his best you cant keep it up for hours and yes Ava did win.... tonight. This is not to mean that we wont persevere tomorrow when we both feel a bit better. I want to tell mums and dads out there that have given in to not feel like you have failed or that people have the right to judge and comment should you tell them because no two children are the same not all will think they can do it every night and some will adapt 'tomorrow' night. You have not failed if you need to take the 'easy' option one night to get a little bit of well deserved rest. 

ADVICE FROM BETH:

There is no right way to parent remember this, as a lot of people like to hint that there is but most of time that will be people who have never had children and believe me I have met a few myself! You will always find your own way to parent which will be the right way for you and your child. Even if you have more than one child you may parent them both different (without treating them different) as parenting styles depend on the child themselves. No two children are the same. And some children play up for different reasons maybe some change is occurring in their life this should be take into account. A thought that should be remembered. Look at it this way, children at school meet different milestones at different times, babies crawl, walk, talk and cut teeth at different times. Behavior works the same. So find your way that is right for your child and that will be the 'right way' don't listen to the opinions of others listen to your child and believe in your self and your parenting style. 

TIP FROM BETH:

Keep your ears closed, your eyes open and your head clear. Free your mind of negativity and keep calm, keep on top of the situation and do whats right for your family how you think is right. Follow your own instincts your mothers instinct or fathers instinct because instinct is usually correct. Ignore the noses of nosey people with negative views and concentrate on your life and your family. Most of all be happy and enjoy it. 

Thank you all for reading hope it helped more to come at later dates and enjoy our blog:) 

Take care 

Beth x