My Everchanging Body

Our lovely readers,

 

Like many of these teenagers flaunting their bodies, I was the same. Nothing would stop me going out in belly tops, tight fitted out fits, short skirts and dresses. Safe to say I was body confident. It felt good. I loved my body for that. For giving me confidence. I would get attention from guys, that was a good and bad thing, I had envious girls throwing me daggers, that didn't bother me. I felt like I was Britney or Madonna. It helped going to college, with my confidence being on a high, I was able to make friends and enjoy it. You see before I started feeling confident in myself I would be very shy, making friends was then difficult, but college wasn't going to be like that, I was confident, I spoke to every one.

 

 

 

 

 

Pregnancy

Seven to eight months after  I started college I found out I was pregnant. Shock. It was unexpected but I was happy. I never really had time to think about what pregnancy would do to my body as I new I was going to be a single mum so I was mentally preparing for that. This resulted in me taking any body changes in my stride. With every stretch mark that appeared I thought 'its for my baby', so they didn't really bother me. Sure sometimes I did think oh god! but that was to be expected as I was young and never had a mark on my body before but all in all for the majority of the time they never bothered me. How could I forget the case of my expanding stomach. That fascinated me more that bothered me, I mean how on earth was it possible for my stomach to stretch that much! My confidence stuck while I was pregnant. I though I Looked pretty damn good!

 

 

 

After I had Ava I was on cloud nine like every new mum so as you may know I wasn't really thinking about my body. It wasn't until it all settled down that I noticed that my body had really changed. It was so much different. I Had gone up a dress size, I had a 'pouch' as they say. I would look in the mirror and wouldn't recognise myself. I felt like a stranger to myself when I would put on clothes and they wouldn't fit. I remember going shopping with my parents and trying stuff on, when things wouldn't fit I would feel myself getting really down and embarrassed. I wanted a black hole to open in the changing room and swallow me up. This is when it started becoming hard mentally, the mental image of myself just fell apart, I just thought of myself as fat and ugly, being single I thought that no one would want me. My confidence went down again and I thought everyone was staring at me. I had to re start college too! ohhhhhhh no. How was I going to cope I felt the size of an elephant and shy as a mouse, but you know what I was a mum now to a beautiful  baby  girl. Sod the way I looked. That doesn't matter. Being there for my girl mattered and she needed me to do this course for her future. Safe to say that motherhood gave me the confidence to get through my second college course.

 Shortly after starting college I started too loose weight, I never got back to how I was before but it was enough to feel confident and comfortable again, and when I met Tom  I started to feel 100x better. He was so complementary, wouldn't stop telling me how beautiful I was.

 

Pregnancy..round 2

My body starting changing pretty early on when I was pregnant with Bella, weight wise anyway. My bump started growing quick much bigger than with Ava. You would think it would be easier because I knew how my body could change but for some reasons it didn't. Many times in this pregnancy I felt massive, like a whale. I was  paranoid that Tommy would end up getting disgusted and leave me. My legs also expanded in this pregnancy which was an unpleasant surprise. That added to my fear and paranoia. Towards the end though I was so tired and fed up I didn't take no notice, I just concentrated on getting Bella out.

 

 

This Is when my body really started to get to me. I am now bigger than I ever have been, I have curves that have popped out of know where, hips that have grown beyond expectation, legs that are fatter than a tree trunk (maybe now that big but it feels like it), boobs that are humungous and a stomach that...well we wont even go there. The last year as been hard as far as body  confidence goes. I just feel disgusting, but dieting is hard. I don't think I would be as bad if I weren't looking at all these fitness things all the time. I feel like that's how I should look, and how I look right now is wrong. But I know that's messed up, society is messed up. Making people believe they should be a size toned 6 is wrong. What exactly is wrong with being a size 14 and healthy? I am lucky to have Tom he is constantly telling me how I'm beautiful and how my body is perfect. They other day I sat and thought there are only two people my body has to please, myself and Tommy. If Tommy loves my body then why cant I?? So I have now started too feel confident naked. I stroll to the bathroom now rather than doing a running jump like I'm in the Olympics. I'm starting to accept my body now, I've accepted
that it changes and with each pregnancy my body turnout is going to be different, but if a I have my family and my Tommy that's all that matters.

My parting message In this post I guess is, sod what everyone else looks  like, sod what everyone else thinks. The only opinion that matters is your own. Body confidence doesn't come from what you look like or what your weight is. Body confidence comes from within and how your thought process is about your body and always have someone there to give you a boost when your body confidence is a bit low.


Thanks for reading:)

Until  next time

LotsOfLove
Beth...xxx
 

 

36 Weeks Pregnancy Update

OMG 4 weeks left!! This pregnancy is deffo going fast! The excitement of my due date growing nearer is really taking over at tha moment and it's all hand on deck as final preparations are made for Bellas arrival :)

How pregnant are you? 

I'm 36 weeks :)

How many days until due date:

I only have 27 days till I'm due! 

Weight: I still have no idea ha ha

Pregnancy symptoms:  I was sick this morning! And I have back ache 

Stretch Marks: No more than last week! 

Cravings: My cravings have died down a little bit at the moment I'm just getting the urge to snack a lot! 

Movement: Bella is getting very active moving more during the day and not just in the evening! 

Gender: girl 

Sleep: sleeps okay at the moment but my hips are aching in the night due to spd 

Worst moment this week: This weeks been okayish just that I'm still waiting to wash bellas coming tights is frustrating! 

Best moment this week: Best moment this week was putting up Bellas Moses basket stand! I felt so proud of myself 

Nesting: I have been a bit more domestic this week! Getting on one about getting Bellas stuff sorted 

Labour signs: I've had a few tightenings and Bellas been pushing down 

Belly button in or out? In but it's rising! Ha ha 

Wedding rings on or off? Still on :)

Happy or moody most of the time: happy with a bit of moody! Ha ha 

Looking forward to: I'm looking forward to getting all my hospital bag sorted! 

Lots Of Love

Beth...xxx

Beth's Baby Shower - Planning, Theme & Budget

As soon As I found out Bethany is pregnant, I instantly started planning her baby shower in my head. At that time she didn't live in Windsor but I always planned to have the baby shower here in Windsor at my house. Then few months into her pregnancy, Bethany moved to Windsor. 


I admit I am a big planner and organised person when it comes to day to day to do list, to birthdays, Christmas and other events ect. In some way it's like a OCD, I have to have lists of what events are coming up and what decorations or budget to set for that particular event. Usually the Mother doesn't know much about the baby shower but in this case I wanted to let Beth have some involvement but have kept some things a surprise. 


LOCATION:
I've picked my home as We have a large front room/dinning area to host and seeing as it is a small private event I wanted to keep it homely and budget friendly.


DATE/TIME:
Weirdly we only decided on a date a few weeks ago. We picked the month November as in October was busy and Beth Birthday and in December is Ava's 3rd Birthday and The due date. We have pick 15th November which fits in perfectly with everyone we have invited as there is no football on that Saturday which is ideal as most of us are football lovers. It will be from 1 pm as most guest are from Essex so gives them time to get here and for us to set everything up. 


THEME:
"Afternoon Tea" is the theme. I chosen the theme before anything else was decided and I wanted to bring a theme into the baby shower to make it more interesting. Cake, sandwiches, tea, coffee and lots of patisseries items yum. 
    

BUDGET:
Im quite known for budgeting for anything really and I always plan ahead. seeing as this year has not been good for any of our finance I know we would keep the budget low but without it being cheap and tacky. There will be about 10 people so it makes it abit easier to get party games, favors and food without breaking the bank.



I will be doing a few blog post over the next two weeks about the invitations, decorations, foods, favors, gifts and how to stick to a budget. Seeing as there is only over a week til the baby shower, we are getting our bum into gear and getting things sorted. Obviously the cake and food cannot be sorted til the day before but everything else is nearly sorted just got to get a few bits and we are done. We cannot wait to spend the day with my side and Beth's side of the family as you know we don't live close. Keep your eyes pealed for the next baby shower post. 


Let's hope Bella doesn't decide to come before the baby shower!! 

35 Weeks Pregnancy Update

Sorry it's a day late! It's been and eventful week to say the least, but to you all following my pregnancy I want to keep you updated! 

How pregnant are you? 

I'm 35weeks +1 

How many days until due date:

I have 33 days until my due date! Not long! 

Weight: I still have no idea ha ha

Pregnancy symptoms:  I was sick yesterday morning for the first time, and my spd symptoms.

Stretch Marks: No more than last week! 

Cravings: Chocolate still! 

Movement: Bella is getting very active moving more during the day and not just in the evening! 

Gender: girl 

Sleep: sleeps okay at the moment :) 

Worst moment this week: For personal reasons I can't say the most worst moment this week! But loosing my belly bar has annoyed me! 

Best moment this week: Best moment this week was seeing how much stuff bella has! Washing her clothes.

Nesting: I have been a bit more domestic this week! Suppose you can say I'm nesting!

Labour signs: I've had a few tightenings 

Belly button in or out? In 

Wedding rings on or off? Still on :)

Happy or moody most of the time: happy with a bit of moody! Ha ha 

Looking forward to: I'm looking forward to cuddling my little girl when she's here :) 

Lots Of Love

Beth...xxx

34 Weeks Pregnancy Update

Here is my week 34 update! a fairly calm week to be honest, just the excitement of my birthday and the added excitement of the fact the birth of baby Bella is getting closer!! And I still need too pack my hospital bag!! shall be getting on that this week... Hope You Enjoy... 

Week 34!!!

34 Weeks pregnant

How pregnant are you? I am very pregnant at 34 weeks!!

How many days until due date: I have 41 Days till I am due! So excited!1

Weight: I don't know how much I weigh

Pregnancy symptoms: I have been diagnosed with SPD so i guess you could call it a pregnancy symptom along with back ache.  

Stretch Marks: My bump is currently filling out with stretch marks :) 

Cravings: I have been craving chocolate still and been  eating a lot of cheese and pickle sandwiches 

Movement: Bella is a little wriggler and has been moving a lot especially when it comes to the evening!

Gender: She is still a baby girl :)

Sleep: I have had disturbed sleep again but that is down to SPD. 

Worst moment this week: Worst moment this week is when I didn't sleep a wink, I woke up with the biggest mood on ever!

Best moment this week:  Best moment this week was getting answers to why I've been  so uncomfortable and getting the wheels in motion to get my SPD sorted it. 

Nesting: Could say I have been nesting buy having a little day of housework. 

Labour signs: I have had tightnings a couple times this week.

Belly button in or out: My belly button is still in.

Wedding rings on or off: My engagement ring is still well on my finger. 

Happy or moody most of the time: I believe my mood has been good this week apart from the odd moody day.

Looking forward to: Im looking forward to packing my hospital bag so exciting!!

Thats my weekly update thank you for reading! Hope you all enjoyed :) 

Lots of Love 
Beth...xxx

Personalised Baby Bits

Personalised Baby Bits 

I have to admit I am one of those  parents who love an item with my child's name on especially when they are babies. Ava had a blanket and hat with her name on ready when she was born, and obviously I have done the same with Bella, it was a must! 

I had been searching for places  to  buy these bits and to be honest couldn't find many and the ones I did could be quite expensive, the place where I had got Ava's from was no longer there which was gutting. With this being the case I had set about trying the find these items online. With me having a very clear image of what I wanted (specific colour pink) It took me while. However I found along the way that my perception of what I wanted changed as I saw all the different styles that were available. I believe as mum that's common! I have of course found the perfect blanket and hat for Bella, now sitting in my hospital bag awaiting her arrival. 

Bella's personalised hat

Bella's personalised blanket 

I  think personalise bits (of course not too much) is good. I think this because its the first thing that is proper theirs and will always be theirs no matter how old they get you will always know that this item is theirs and will never be anyone else's I mean how can  it? It has their name on it. These items also make good keepsakes as they get older. Its the perfect item to pull out on their 18th birthday!

Some people to go a bit over the top on personalise items meaning the get every bit of clothing with their names on it. I think like most things less is more. The less items you have personalised the more special the items that you have personalised will be. A hat and Blanket maybe the odd pjs and ornaments of course are tasteful. But don't go over board and order every item of clothing bed sheets ect with their name all over it! you want to keep the sentimental feeling. 

A personal favorite of mine is the personalised car sign! We had one for Ava but it lost its stick so we are going to order one each for the girls! I think these are a great idea, you can even get one with their favorite character and their name on! I cant wait to get our new ones!




Lots Of Love 
Beth...xxx

Pregnancy Clothing Dilemmas

I am sure many pregnant women out there will agree that dressing yourself during pregnancy can be difficult can be a nightmare especially if your on a budget. 

Magic of pregnancy

In some ways you can call pregnancy magic! The rate your bump grows is amazing, one minute you look a bit podged, you blink and the next thing you know you've got a great big stomach. I noticed this a lot when putting on items of clothing. I find I dig out a top and it will look really nice on, I will put it on a week later and it wont go over my ever growing bump! This can result in a breeze across my midriff, its a good job I notice and change my top before leaving the house! ha ha.  

My Wardrobe 

I have noticed that due to my uterus growing in size my wardrobe begun to shrink. This has made my outfits repetitive. More than the usual 'repetitive'. I tend to feel that I never look and different. The thing is with my partner being laid of work twice through my pregnancy we have been on a budget so I cant really go out and buy myself a new wardrobe. Thankfully my partner is now in consistent work.

Maternity Clothes

Alot of people may be saying why don't you buy some  nice new maternity clothes which should fit you the whole way through your pregnancy. The problem with this is that maternity wear is so expensive, over priced when you think about it. You don't even wear them for a year, apart from the few that continue to wear them after, in which I believe is a good idea. The problem is being on a budget, which a lot of parents are its just not possible to afford maternity wear especially when you already have children, you prefer to see clothes going to them. They also grow so quick at my little ones age  they need new clothes. Having a baby on the way you also need to buy new clothing plus prams and accessories which don't come cheap. Give me the question maternity clothes or things for the baby? I will say things for baby all the the time. 

Things bought for Ava and Bella

Katie

I owe a lot to Katie to be honest. She has helped me out so much during my pregnancy lending me items of clothing to see me through. including tops, leggings and even shoes to match! Thank you Katie!. 

The thing I've learnt is that you tend to make the most of what you have make as many outfits as you can out of the clothes that you own as when you live on a budget you don't have the option of new clothes. I think of my self as lucky as I have been privileged to borrow clothes off of Katie and they are things I'm able to put with different things to make different outfits. I don't want to complain about something like clothing as Baby Bella is totally worth it, and so what I am low on clothes, in the end I'm going to have a gorgeous little baby and that is all I can think about. 

Hope you enjoyed

Lots Of Love 

Beth...xxx