Nudging Out Negativity

As I'm approaching 23 on 30th April, it has made me realize how much I have grown up. I may not of done the things I planned years ago or got the dream job or have my own family but looking back myself as a person has changed. 

I used to always just be the follower and do what people told me to, I suppose to feel like I fitted in. I always hung around with people older than me as I was close to my Cousin who was a year older and used to be friends with her friends. I never was the popular kid but my cousins friends was so hanging around with them made me feel wanted I guess. Looking back that is stupid and I would never do that now. In the past two years I have made big changes to my life as I have stopped speaking to the people who wasn't good for me and I tell you what I feel so much better for it. I may have lost a lot of people because of it but I've never been happier with just the small amount of people I have around me now. Now I have people around me who generally care and love me where as before the people I was friends with didn't give a shit about me and just hang around with me for company.

I wished I done this years ago to be honest. Although I done this myself and obviously made the decision to stop speaking to these certain people, I do think meeting Bethany really made me realize this which I am thankful for. One day Beth just said to me that a certain someone was using me and taking the piss out of me which made me think "yes you are so right". Deep down I knew this certain person was but I guess you just go along with it and life can get carried away but it is not until people start to realize what people are doing to you that makes yourself stop and think. Beth cares so much for me and she hated seeing this certain person totally treat me like utter crap. From that moment I made the choice to tell this person and stop all contact and I tell you what, my life has never been any better and easier. I generally can say the people I have around me now are people who love and care about me. Of course I have certain family members I don't get on with but you can't choose your family can you. 

Because of this, it did mean my whole social life changed and somehow stopped as this person was the person I was with most weekends and done most social things with. Everything was on her terms only and yes I was a mug to go along with it. Getting "rid" of negative people in your life makes a massive different. It changes you as a person and makes you a better person for it. You can 100% be happy and confident knowing the circle of people around you are fully caring, loving and positive. Don't be friends with people who only want to hang out when they are bored, don't believe a word they say to sweet talk you around, Don't do/say what they tell you to. I used to go to clubs, bars and restaurants that I didn't like, I used to meet up with people I hated but I done theses things because at the time I thought that was the right thing to do and in my mind if I didn't do these things then I wouldn't have any social life and I thought people and this certain people wouldn't like me if I declined. 

Looking back I can't believe how gullible I was. Life isn't about wanting people to like you and now I think if someone doesn't like me then I honest don't care. I wanted to feel wanted as I never had that at school or college. I thought once you're a adult that things get better but it is rubbish.In fact it gets a whole lot worse when you're a adult. People are more horrible, ladies are more bitchy and bullying isn't something that happens at school only. 

Always make sure you're happy and if people around you are making you unhappy and are bringing you down then get rid of them, stop all contact and enjoy being around people who make you happy. I want to thank Beth for telling me about this certain person otherwise I would still be in that place. I have a very small circle around me but I'm so much happier for :) Have anyone else had similar experience, or are in that place right now where you want to tell people you want to stop contact with them? Let me know. 

Love Katie  xx

Health : Dealing with negative comments

As you can tell my the title this is about my personal experiences on having people being extreamly negative towards me to do with my condition. 

I've wrote a post here explaining what my condition is but long story short I have ankylosing spondylitis a type of arthritis. I totally understand it's hard for my close ones and people around me to get what my conditions means and what it stops me doing and how I react during a flare up ect but it's obviously natural for some family members to be totally negative and blind by the truth. Lucky enough my Mother, brother & Bethany totally understand and really their opinion is all I need as they are the ones who support me the most and who I love forever but without going into who and names ect it's hard to deal with people who basically class you lazy for having a condition. I've spent many times explaining to family what this means for my now and my future but yet certain ones don't seem to listen. It's very frustrating as my condition is out of my hands there is nothing I can do cure it or make it go away and trust me if there was I would be trying my hardest to get rid of it. I get comments like " you take too many medication", " just exercise more", " your young it will go " and " when will you go and get a proper job"!!! Those comments have been told to me since I was diagnosed in May 2014 and each time they are said I still get upset and hurt by them which is stupid as I shouldn't let it get to me but it does. 

I've tried my very hardest since having this condition to make myself pain free at possible but as time goes on Im experiencing more and more pain. It gets me down, it makes me have sleepless nights worrying and it makes me cry at the feeling that I'm failing at life but I know I have no control of this condition. Although it's been nearly a year since I've been suffering but I'm in very early stages and in that year I've been trying a lot of medication which some haven't worked and some I found out I'm allergic to and ended up in hospital due to vomiting blood from the reaction but the negative people seem to think I will get the right medication soon and then be totally painfree and can be "normal" in their eyes. 

If these people wasn't family members it honestly wouldn't bother me but I have to see these people on a weekly basis and I love these people which hurts even more. I hope over time they can be more understanding as my condition ain't going to vanish and in time I will need their support. But as I've said I've got my mother, brother and Bethany who understands, gets it and give me 100% support. Bethany is the person I text during the night when I'm upset and in pain and she totally calms me down even though it's over the phone she means alot of me. My mother is here 24/7 and I admit sometime she can be not so  understanding but I know she doesn't mean it as at the moment she is going through medical problems herself so we are each other's rocks and support but also stuck in the same house 24/7 so natually it can be draining and hard but we are both thankful for each other. I'm sure she feels the same... Well she better haha... I know she is reading this lol!!! 

Have any of you had similar experience and have any tips on how to deal with these negitive comments? Leave a comment or email me as it would be good to hear other people's stories reguarding this subject. Thanks for reading :) 

Love Katie x