Chronic Illness//Stuff People Don't Tell You

I never realised how much a chronic illness changes your life in so many ways. Those small things I do now that I never was told about by my doctors. The simple tasks that no longer are simple.

 

On Sunday, it made me realise how big of a impact my two chronic illnesses have made to my life. It was Mothers Day and my family and I went for Breakfast at Havester. For example.. I got up extra early to take my medication so I was feeling okay during meal, I had to double check I packed all my medication in my hangbag, I spents day before looking at the menu to see what I can/can't eat, I had to sit on end of table Incase I need the toilet to be sick or if my colitis plays up, I had to make sure I had a pint of water so I could take my medication. It's sounds so stupid but if i forgot anyone of them above then I would of been in trouble. After the meal we went shopping and I was debating if to go or not because for the past few days prior to this day I have been having bad bad flare up down to my Colitis so I was worried Incase a flare up happened. 

On Tuesday, I went into High Wycombe for lunch and shopping and once again I had to prepare for the day. I now no longer love going shopping and for lunch because my Back hurts so much that I need to sit down regular, I feel abit dizzy and weird after my medication and that feeling ain't nice when you're in the shops. 

Simple days out are no longer just simple and that what I think I have that found quite hard. Next weekend I'm off to Essex for a few days and I've been worrying so much for the past month which I never would of done before. I have got to my sure I order in my medication so that I have enough for the time in in Essex. This stuff is never spoken about and the doctors never tell you any of the reality of a chronic illness.  

To be honest I'm struggling with stuff like this right now and because I've done a lot days out lately it's made it all seem more harder. Also having anxiety is making it twice as bad and I know I will get used to it in time to come but a year on I still feel like this!! Does anyone else feel like this? I have almost forgotten what it's like to just get up and go out without worrying or having to do stuff. I set reminders on my phone when to book doctors, when to order my medication, when to collect my medication, making sure I've taken my daily meds, making sure I have pints of water to take my meds throughout the night... Ahhhh I can't remember my life before all of this started tbh. You just get so used to it. Chronic Illness you suck!!

Love Katie xx 

Mothers Day - From a Mum...

Well this is a great time of year, giving thanks to mothers, a person in most people's lives whose always been there your back bone to life and someone who will always be there no matter what. We will be seing loads of posts about what our mothers mean to us, so I thought I'd do a post from the other point of view. A mothers point of view. What it means to be a mummy having these gorgeous little people relying on you. 

Take me back five years you would never have thought I would become a mum let a lone a mum of two! I was the ditsiest rebellious person you could have met. I'm not going to lie I was selfish, and I was failing at aspects of my life, from what I wanted to do career wise and relationship wise. You see I would ALWAYS pick the wrong ones! So you would not expect me out of all people to become a mum. 

  In early to mid 2011 I found out I was pregnant and facing single parent hood. It was a shock. A good one. I was plagued full of emotions scared, excited , loving. Eventually the 6th December came and my beautiful daughter Ava was born. It was the happiest day. I held her in my arms. I looked at her, and I promised her that although she didn't have a dad I was going to do both jobs. I was going to be there for her love her care for and always do the best I could. I found my calling in life and that was to be a mum. for two years I  was a single mum, working out and managing my money to give her the best I could and looking after her on my own. I enjoyed it being a mum was everything.

When I met Tom I had no idea what he would make of Ava and what she would make of him, but they hit it off like a house on fire and as our relationship blossomed so did theirs. I was no longer single I now have a life partner bit more importantly Ava now has what she never did.. A dad. You see Biologically Toms not her father but he is her dad. Being her dads not blood it's about being there for her picking her up when she's down cuddling her when she cries and nursing her knees when she falls over.... He is all she knows and who she calls dad. Our life couldn't get any better could it?? That's what I thought but then I found out I was pregnant again. We were so happy and for me I wasn't scared this time because I wasn't going to be a single mummy I was going to be a mummy as part of a partnership. You think when your pregnant with your second what if it's different this time what if it's not the same. 

On the 19th December 2014 Bella was born and no it was no different! I had the same emotions as I did the first time the same thoughts this was equally the best day of my life. I held her tiny body in my arms held her tiny hand and I wanted to burst out in tears I was so proud she is perfect just like Ava and I also promise her what I did Ava except this time I didn't have to promise to be daddy Aswell. 

When I look at both my girls my eyes fill up, I want to cry, I made these two and they are the two most perfect little princess in the world  I'm so proud to have them both.

Us mums we are busy, our lives are hectic, we don't stop from the minute we open our eyes to the minuet we close them. We spend our days tired, our hairs a mess we have sick on our shoulders, we have washing coming out of our ear holes, CBeebies on 24/7, we are forever cleaning up spilt juice spilt milk crumbs and food trod into the carpet, we wipe bums and go through tears and tantrums , cleaning cuts and grazes, making bottles and dinners, ironing clothes making beds, we are up half the night wiping away tears and fighting off nightmares. Through all this we never moan and we won't, we don't do all this because we have too we do it because we WANT to .. Because we are the mother of our children this is our job and our honour, we do it because our children are the most important thing to us and all this is part of that promise we make the day you are born that promise to love and look after you and protect you till the day we die. 

Happy Mothers Day to all you mothers out there you are doing a great job.

Lots Of Love 

Beth...xxx 

Bella 2 month update

Sorry I ain't done this sooner! Had a busy couple weeks! 

Bella started her second month with her first injections as any mother would know it's horrible seing your baby have them! But she was so good only had a little cry but not much she was also a bit sleepy after but she was a big brave girl! 

Bella is well into her 2 months! She is coming in leaps and bounds and getting bigger! Though not that big, she's only 9lb 6oz due to her sickness problem .. That still ain't fully resolved. After being told she had reflux and being put on ranitidine she was still bringing up milk and not putting weight on properly. They still think it's reflux so waiting for her out patients app. So I've taken it into my own  hands in the meantime. My health visitor suspected a lactose intolerance so Uve bought her lactose free milk by aptamil. And she may be bit sick dribble sick but it's not as much as before and she is also more comfortable and settled. She used to be un comfy on her feeds and screaming after as if she had belly ache but she hasn't done that since being in this milk :) .. 

On a lighter note she is such a happy little sole she is smily and giggly it melts my heart everytime I see her smile... 

We are having some wonderful family times already, it feels like we have never been without bella it's so heart warming when she gurgles back at us and she absolutely loves Ava I can tell they are going to have eachothers backs as they get older we have enjoyed some lovely family times in bellas second month including a trip to pontins! 

Hope you enjoyed the read :))

LotsOfLove

Betha...xxx

Being Diagnosed With Colitis

If you have been reading my "Katie Health Update" post you would of know I have been having bowel problems for a long time but I never really went into too much detail. Without sounding gross its hard to explain bowel problems as you can imagine to be honest. 

A bit of a background.. I was diagnosed with IBS many many years ago so always suffered with bloating and had to watch what I eat ect then about 3 years ago I started getting other problems which in those 3 years its results in me having three operations, treated for various things and being put on many treatment/medication but still nothing seemed to help. In January of this year I had an operation which I wrote about HERE. During that operation a few biopsies was taken and I didn't really think much about the results as I have so much other illnesses going on that I didn't worry at all. On 20th February, I went to see my Surgeon and because I've not got any answers for years I simply didn't expect any news. Mr George (my amazing specialist) just came out with it but Im glad as he didn't beat around the bush and literally explained everything so simple and clear.. He diagnosed me with Colitis. I finally got the answer I've been wanting for so long. I now can rest knowing they know the cause to all the pain and trouble I have suffered with. You can click HERE to learn more about what Colitis is as to be honest I still don't know much about it but basically Colitis is inflammation of the inner lining of the Colon. It is such a relief to finally know the reason to all my symptoms over the past few years but its a weird feeling as I slowly begin to realise that this is a long term illness and treatment will be needed for a long long time. I've been given Asacol and seeing my specialist again next month to go through things properly and put a proper treatment plan into plan. 

image from pinterest 

So it is a weird feeling of being happy you finally got diagnosed but then also confused and sad about what the illness actually is. Having Ankylosing Spondylitis (I done a post HERE explaining everything) was such a shock that I've sort of became used to being told crap things about my health. Having a Chronic Illness it sort of makes you stronger in a weird way, I feel like I've put up with some much crap from people and so much pain than I have made myself more strong and I don't give a crap about things I use to worry about now. I suppose it hasn't really sunk in yet and maybe I should be worrying alot more than I am? Chronic/long term illnesses makes a MASSIVE impact on yourself and feelings, my head is always all over the place. I never know what to say, do or feel and guilt is a massive part of my life at the moment. Guilty for feeling ill, for being in pain and for moaning..  I always think I shouldn't moan as Im lucky to be alive?! Arghhhhhhh am I the only who feels alot of emotions and guilt about having illnesses? 

Love Katie x 

A Diet Challenge - Week 2

Bethany - Slimfast Diet

So needless to say slimfast has not gone very well. I have struggled an awful lot to stick too it temptation just too much and also hunger was too much. And seeing barely any results I had no motivation to stick to it. Feeling a failure, I still needed and want too loose weight. Something that j could stick too. That's right for me. So I took to my iPhone for research and found Raspberry Ketones from Holland and Barrett. I started these on Saturday, you take these one twice a day and control your calories I am easing my way into the calorie part going shopping for healthier foods and gathering recipes ect. Also with the stress of finding a place to move out the calorie planning is taking a little bit of a backseat but I am on it. But I weighed myself yesterday and I have lost a couple pounds since Saturday. This gives me motivation to carry on.  Of course it has its side effects what doesn't.? Without sounding too vile it does increase your wind.. Tho I think this is a small price to pay for seeing the pounds coming off. Therefore my diet has changed to Bethany - Raspberry Ketone Diet 

 

Katies diet : 

So things haven't gone to plan over the past few weeks. I recently got diagnosed with Colitis and got a appointment in 4 weeks to talk about my food plan ect so I haven't continued with any diet as I have just stuck to the basic foods at the moment. I shall do a blog post soon talking and explaining about Colitis, also if anyone has it or knows about it please leave a comment below or get in contact as I'd love to hear from you. 

Love Beth and Katie xx

Mothers Day Ideas : Budget Friendly

                 My Mother & I

Mother's Day can get very expensive and personally your love should be shown every day of the year not just one. Some people do go over the top and I guess if you have the money then why not but you can easily get good stuff now days that are budget friendly. This year I got my mother a few random inexpensive items which she either picked out herself or I knew she wanted. Once you get the gifts out of the way it's time to think and plan what to do on the actual day. I think I'm going to take my mother to Costa for coffee and cake which is simple yet what she wants to do. Here are some ideas what to do on Sunday that I thought would be great for people on a budget who haven't got anything planned yet. 

Home Cooked Meal : 

Eating out can become expensive but why not go to the shops, get the food you know are your mothers favourites and do a nice three course meal. You can also cook it together for some fun. Knowing you put a lot of effort and thought into this, mothers will appricate this a lot more than just going to a resturant. 

Pamper Day/Night At Home : 

Either make it into a all day thing or just the evening, this can be something fun and relaxing for the both of you. Get a Lush Fresh Face Mask, do a DIY foot soak followed by a pedicure which you can do each other's, put on a film or a tv programme you both like and not to forget get some treats and make a cuppa and simply relax. This can be a easy quick cheap idea as most items you have at home already.

Go For A Walk : 

Something so simple yet something you may not even do any other day. If you got dogs even better but if not still do it. Even if it's for 30 minutes, it's still nice to just be alone and bond over a nice walk. We live next to a amazing part called the Windsor Great Park which is own by the royals which is open to the public and it literally goes on for miles. You could even take a blanket and a little picnic if the weather is nice. Even if you don't live near a park or can't get to a nice walking area just go for a walk around the area. 

Coffee Time : 

Pop to Costa, Starbucks, a local cafe or whatever your coffee place of choice is and go for a coffee and cake. Recently a Costa opened local to us so myself and mother been having the odd treat and it's so nice to be somewhere where you can sit down relax and have a nice chat over a coffee or two. We spent hours in Costa the other week and it was so nice to be out of the house and change of sencery. Can be costly if you spend hours like we did hahah but a lovely idea for coffee lovers.

Just Being There : 

This is simply is what it says " Just being there". All mothers will appricate just being with their loved ones. We sometimes all get caught up with out lives and try too hard planning something amazing but just being there is simply  enough. There nothing better than doing nothing with my Mother, we could just sit there and we would make each other laugh. If you don't live with your mother and can't afford to do anything simpg just pop round. Have a Cuppa, sit down have a chat. Stuff that are free and simple that we seem to not do enough. 

So there are my ideas of what to do on Mothering Sunday if you want a quick easy cheap but thoughtful idea. Let me know what you guys are up to? Do you do something amazing that's planned ages ago or do you do any of the above

I mentioned? While writing this it made me realised I might go for a Walk with my mother on Sunday, something we don't do is just walk. We usually walk but to go somewhere so I think it will be nice to just go for a walk even for a hour with the dogs just us two having a nice chat :) 

Happy Mothers Day :) 

Love Katie x